Numb like Her
by WaterLily25
Summary: Street Rule of Thumb: never fall for a prostitute. Jack Kelly should know that better than anyone. But Jack's not one to follow the rules. Rated M for sexual and violent content. Jack&OC. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

*I do not own any of the Newsies characters mentioned here! Only borrowing them. This is a post-strike story.*

"Cowboy!"

Jack looked up and the rain poured off his brow, drowning his vision. He tried to get up but strong thick hands held him down. He pushed at the thug but the broken glass bottle was shoved deeper into his side and an elbow came down on his nose.

"JACK!"

There was a hit; the man stabbing Jack was thrown backwards and the other thugs left him to defend themselves. There were shouts and grunts, bodies hitting the pavement.

Jack dropped and his head hit the wet sidewalk. Warm blood began to drip down his face and into his mouth. He heard Kid Blink, Racetrack, Mush and the others, their angry voices echoing all around the alleyway and the street.

"Jack," Mush said quickly as he dropped to his knees next to his friend. "Oh God… Jack, c'mon, can ya hear me?"

"My ears work fine, quit yellin'." Jack tried to sit up but the pain went through him, his breath catching. Something was inside him, sharp as a blade. Mush moved closer and Jack gripped his shoulder.

"We gotta get ya to a doctor, Jack," Mush said desperately, his voice cracking.

Jack could hear the panic in Mush's voice. He didn't like it.

"No," Jack said firmly as he blinked several times, Mush's bronzed face coming into focus, worry in his dark eyes. Racetrack was standing behind Mush, keeping lookout, and Kid Blink was across the street with the other older boys, yelling something Jack couldn't hear.

"No docs," Jack said, his eyes deadly. He saw David running towards them from the other side of the street. His lip was busted.

"Jack, you're bleeding on tha street," Race said impatiently. "It ain't ideal but there's no otha choice, Cowboy."

"Racetrack's right, Jack," said David, is chest heaving as he looked across the street anxiously. "You could get the wound infected or worse-"

"So take me somewhere else," Jack yelled in frustration; his pain was getting worse. "Damn it... Take me ta Talia's place."

Mush became more desperate when he heard bull whistles. Desperate to get Jack off the street, Mush took Jack's arm, put it around his neck and ignored Jack's grunts as he pulled him up. "Kid, get over here!"

Kid Blink ran over and helped to lift Jack, his leather eye patch dripping with water. They cut across the street, the rain pouring over them, and went into the alleyway, carrying their friend as quickly as they could.

…..

"Come 'ere, sweetheart. Warm these cold bones of mine."

Talia winced internally as the drunken fool tightened his hands around her, his hot sticky breath washing over her face. He was practically laying on top of her on the worn chaise lounge; he had taken her hair down and it was the only thing separating his eyes from her half exposed breasts, her blouse falling over the top of her faded mauve corset.

He was twice her size, pinning her down, and his hand traveled up her long legs at a painfully slow pace. She closed her eyes and repeated to herself the reasons why she needed this scumbag's money…

She could hear the other girls down the hall, laughing and flirting, the smell of cigarettes and cigar floating up from the parlor. At least they were having fun. They were always having fun. They actually _enjoyed_ this. And Talia did too. At least, that's what she made her customers believe.

She only did it for one reason, the same reason every woman in the building did it. Even though she detested every man that walked through her door, she turned out to be the best girl in the whole brothel: she was more "woman" than the others, more curves. The others were half starved while men paid her enough to feed three people.

She took care of herself and men saw it: she had long dark brown hair, clean creamy skin and though her teeth were not the whitest, they were clean. The men always remembered her lips, full and the color of roses, and cold blue eyes lined in thick black lashes. She was an authentic Russian beauty. Some women had fake accents, to attract more customers, but hers was husky and unmistakably real.

She was known as "the goddess" and she was only nineteen. As a result, she was always booked. But she was beginning to feel burned out. And fast.

She was beginning to feel old.

"Come on, sweetheart…" his hand found her right breast.

She was tilting her head back, rolling her eyes back in disgust, when she heard him.

"TALIA!"

Her icy blue eyes shot open and she looked across her bedroom to the window.

"TALIA!"

She instantly recognized the voice, a thick New Yorker accent, and she quickly ran from the couch to the window, her customer falling face first into the pillow she had been leaning against.

"Hey!" the fat sailor complained. "I'm not through with you."

"The ladies down the hall will be more than happy to serve you," she said harshly, her thick Russian accent dripping with venom: she wanted this man to leave fifteen minutes ago when she'd first seen him downstairs. She looked out the window through the pouring rain, the streets glossy and dark. After a moment of searching, she saw them, all crowded around the fire escape below.

She heard the sailor approach her, "I said I'm not finished..."

She felt his hand curving around her waist, then down her hip. "Not even close," he purred.

She turned to look him in the eye and she saw the excitement in his ugly face. He leaned in closer but she stepped around him and strode to the other side of the room.

She threw open her bedroom door, the laughter and music from down stairs entering the room, and she crossed her arms, waiting. His dark creepy eyes drank in the image of her, standing in nothing but her lingerie and a loose satin robe, her breasts heaving, a dark beauty. But something in her cold icy eyes told him not to cross her.

He snarled, "I was going to pay you good money…I'll make it worth your night. Just one night with me…"

"Keep it for the girl next door," she said between clenched teeth.

He huffed and mumbled to himself as he walked through the door, zipping his pants.

She slammed it shut, locked it, and went back to the window, throwing back the long dark curtains. Rain water poured onto the floor.

She peered through the downpour, rain dripping through her long dark hair and down her arms and chest. She shivered from the icy trails the rain left on her warm skin. She saw through the bars of the fire escape the cluster of boys, all looking up at her window. She saw Kid Blink, supporting an ill-looking Jack Kelly.

She motioned them up and they began clambering up the rickety iron stairs. She stepped back and waited for them to climb through the window one by one. Two boys stayed on the landing, Pie Eater and Snotty, and three others down on the street, to keep watch.

Mush grinned at her and nodded as he jumped onto her wooden floor. His wet shirt clung to his broad chest and arms. "How's it goin', Talia?"

"This better be good, Mush. I just told my money to beat it."

He smiled at the sound of her accent; the guys usually tried to imitate her, much to her annoyance and secret pleasure. She had lived in America for ten years, since she was nine, and from listening to the girls and then the newsies, she had learned english...Just not "correct" english.

"It's kinda important," Mush said as he turned to pull Jack through the window.

Jack fought hard with the energy he had left to make it through the window by himself. His body was soaked, like the other boys, and his clothes were stained with blood. His light brown hair was slicked back and there was dried blood beneath his nose. His dark eyes were shadowed by his heavy brow, making him appear very angry, and his lower lip was busted.

"Looking good, Cowboy," she said with a smirk, her eyes glinting.

"Will you help 'im?" Mush asked, his eyes glinting with a hint of desperation.

Talia looked at Jack's face for a moment, temporarily forgetting Mush's question.

"Ah!" Jack shouted as Kid Blink came in behind him, almost causing him to fall. Mush caught him.

"Damn it!" Jack said, his face tightening as he winced.

"Sorry, Jack," Kid Blink said, climbing through and shutting the window after Racetrack and David.

Kid Blink shook the rain from his sandy blonde hair. "Hey, Talia."

"Hey, Kid. Long time no see, _David_," Talia said with a broad smile, rolling his name off her foreign tongue.

David smiled at her and nodded, blushing. "Hey Talia." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat.

Talia laughed; she loved making David feel uncomfortable. He was so sweet and naive.

The boys quickly filled up her small flat. It was only one room that served for her bedroom and seating room with a small galley kitchen and a bathroom next to it. The floors were old and worn and the roof leaked; her floor was scattered with bowls and pots, slowly filling with rain water.

Jack suddenly went pale and Kid Blink looked down at his face.

"Jack? Ya alright?"

"Let's lay him down," David said, taking Jack's other side.

"Here, on the bed," Talia said as she went to clear the clothes and sheets from her unkempt sheets.

The boys followed her, dragging a cursing Jack. She helped to lay him on her wrought iron bed, the sheets smelling of cologne and the pillows strewn across the floor. She stacked two pillows behind Jack as he cursed and grunted. His tall body made her bed look like a match box; though he was not as muscular as Mush, he was still very masculine in his build and features.

Jack looked up at Talia as she arranged his body and she met his eyes. Then he noticed what she was wearing.

"Sorry ta interrupt," he said dryly, all pain vanishing from his face.

She stood up straight and went back to the window, pulling her robe tighter.

"There will be other opportunities." She said with a sigh.

He looked away from her and irritation appeared in his eyes, for a number of reasons.

"I hope you didn't bring any…unwanted friends with you…" she said as she peered out the window.

The boys knew she meant the bulls; the whole brothel would be arrested if the police found them…or would gain more business depending on which ones showed up.

"So, what happened?" she asked, her breath fogging the window.

"We were ambushed," Kid Blink said.

Racetrack, David, and Mush were warming their hands and helping themselves to the towels in Talia's bathroom to wash the blood off their faces and lips. Kid Blink, rubbing his forehead, was watching Jack. Remorse filled his good eye.

"He was stabbed with a broken bottle," Kid Blink said angrily. "I couldn't get to him."

Talia looked back to the boys and then to Jack's bloody body on the bed, her eyes wide.

"Glass?" she asked. She went back to the bed. "Did it break inside you?" she asked in a rush.

"S'matta?" he asked heatedly, seeing the urgency in her eyes. He winced as Talia climbed onto the bed, sitting next to him.

She began unbuttoning his blood stained shirt but Jack's hand restrained her.

"Don' do that," he said stiffly.

"You want to bleed to death?" she asked impatiently.

He took in her expression and then let her hand go, watching her fingers work at the buttons on his chest.

"Mush, get some cloths from my bathroom and the whiskey bottle behind the sink."

"A'right," said Racetrack with a smirk as he clapped and rubbed his hands together. "I knew we made the right decision comin' 'ere."

The boys laughed and eyed each other sneakily.

Talia smiled coyly at them, "I worked hard for that stuff. It's the only alcohol I have so if you want a sip, empty your pockets."

Race took out a dime and slammed it on the table next to the couch.

She rolled her eyes, turning back to Jack. "Glasses are in the kitchen."

Race quickly took the bottle from Mush's hand and passed the glasses around.

Talia took off her robe, the sleeves getting in the way of her hands.

The boys got quiet when she disrobed. They were good friends with Talia; after two years she had almost become one of them. They treated her like one of their own, but she sure wasn't a newsboy and they still had eyes: they'd be lying if they said they'd never _looked_ at her.

But around Jack, they didn't mention it. He got tense when the guys talked about her... just by saying her name. He was always strange around girls, but especially Talia, and the boys could never quite guess what he was thinking. But they knew what he was thinking whenever she was with another man.

She pulled the straps of her lace undershirt up her shoulders, covering herself more, and looked at Jack's wound. She could see the glass in the skin, shinning out of the gash cutting across his left side.

"You need a doctor, Jack," she said quickly, knowing he would argue.

"No docs," Jack said impatiently. He winced.

"Get my sewing kit," she shouted angrily back to the bathroom. She looked at the others who were staring at her. She saw the worry in their eyes as their friend and leader lay wounded on the bed, the color fading quickly from his face.

She sighed and watched Mush as he put the supplies on the bed and sat next to her. Kid Blink and the others got closer to look at Jack's side and Race began pouring them shots.

Jack's dark eyes met Talia's, "don' make it worse."

Talia ignored him and without hesitation began tugging at the wound with her fingers, making it wider. Jack cursed like the sailors down stairs, his shouts booming in her ears, and his lean body tensed on the bed. Talia's fingers slipped on Jack's blood.

"Gah… DAMN IT!" Jack yelled. "Whatta ya doin'?!"

"I have to get the glass out. If you want my help, you'll stop yelling and shut up."

"Jus' watch tha fingas," Jack hissed.

Talia gave another tug. Jack's frame went ridged.

"Let me do the talking," Talia whispered menacingly to him.

Jack huffed and closed his eyes tightly. The boys couldn't help but smirk and laugh a little. Talia was used to dealing with cranky old sailors and she treated Jack no differently.

Talia took the whiskey bottle and tipped it into the cloth in her hands. Then she tipped the bottle into her mouth and handed it to Mush who tipped it into Jack's.

Jack swallowed the whiskey and Race came around to put his cigar, lengthwise, in Jack's mouth. Jack clenched his teeth on the tightly rolled tobacco and waited for Talia.

She pressed the cloth to Jack's side. He hissed and arched his back. It wasn't much but it was the only thing she had to clean the wound. After wiping most of the blood away, she dug her fingers into his side and latched onto the biggest piece of glass.

Jack's hands were tight vices on the bed sheets and he cursed again as she pulled out the piece of glass, slick with blood and an inch wide.

The boys made uncomfortable noises and Kid Blink shook his head guiltily, "I'm sorry, Jack."

"Stop it," Jack said weakly, his voice muffled by the cigar. He glared at his friend. "Stop apologizin'."

"Those Delancy Brothas got anotha thing comin'," Race said darkly.

Talia's eyes glinted, recognizing the names. "The brothers that work for...what's his name...Weasel?"

The boys laughed at her pronunciation and Race nodded darkly, "Yeah, they're the ones."

She nodded, pulling out the last piece before fishing for the smaller shards. "They've been here before."

Jack shot her a dark look, the most violent expression clouding his features, but she distracted him when she pulled out a shard.

"Why'd they attack you?" she asked.

"The same reason they always attack us: for tha sport of it," Race said. "We only lost this time because we were outnumba'd."

Talia winced as she pricked her finger on a piece but still managed to pull it out.

There was a heavy fisted knock on the door.

Talia looked up, her eyes wide, and the boys watched her as she wiped her hands on the cloth in her lap. She looked at the newsies carefully, her eyes penetrating, "whatever happens, don't come to the door. If you're found in here, I'll be kicked out."

She climbed off the bed and went to the door. Though she told them to stay at the bed, Kid Blink and Race moved along the wall near the door, out of sight. These drunken sailors are known for their fists: they'd seen shiners on Talia before.

Jack slowly propped himself up on his elbow, watching the door. He despised being so useless.

Talia opened the door and saw the same sailor she had kicked out. She glared at him as he threw money at her feet, too drunk to stand up straight.

"Now…give me what I paid for, whore…" he said slowly, reaching towards her.

The boys tensed and Mush and David went to hold down Jack; the sailor's words made his blood boil.

Talia stepped back and looked past him down the hall, seeing the broad man who severed the girls as their "doorman."

"Lars!" she yelled.

She saw the thuggish man look down the hall to her door, his menacing face riddled with scars. He began stomping down the hallway when she swept the money into the room with her foot and slammed the door in the sailor's face. She gathered the money in her hands and threw it on the table next to the couch. She heard a loud thud from outside the door.

"Maybe tonight wasn't such a loss," she said humorlessly as she went back to sitting with her legs crossed on the bed, bent over Jack.

The boys stared at the money on the table and back to her. Whereas some girls were delicate and easy to offend, Talia had thick skin and had a bite worse than her bark. Though some days, after being with men, she seemed a little more tired and a little weaker. And the boys saw it; it was like watching a tiger walk around with a thorn in her side.

Though they completely understood why she did it...the sweaty wad of cash was the most money they'd seen in months.

"It's best you don't move tonight," Talia said as she wiped the wound clean again. "_You_ can stay here. But you guys will have to beat it."

"We'll come back for him tomorrow night," David said with a smile, his eyes heavy with fatigue. "Thanks, Talia."

"Cowboy needs his rest," Race said with a smirk as he pulled out another chewed cigar from his pocket.

"I'm not leavin'," said Kid Blink.

"Me either," said Mush solemnly.

Talia looked at them with a disbelieving expression, "Do I look like an innkeeper?"

"C'mon, Talia," Mush pleaded. "I just want to make sure Jack's gonna be alright."

"Who needs a motha when I got you?" Jack said humorlessly, twirling the bitten cigar between his fingers. He hid his pain well.

"You two will have to bust for the couch," said Talia.

"Can we at least stay 'til the rain lightens up, please?" Race asked as he looked out the window. "This weatha ain't good for my health."

Talia began threading her needle and Jack's eyes narrowed at her.

"Wha's that for?"

"You can't go around with an open wound," Talia didn't wait for him to object and pricked his skin and pulled the thread through.

Jack stared at the ceiling casually but the muscles in his arms shook slightly. He crushed the cigar in his fist.

"Get his boots off," Talia said to Kid Blink.

The boys stayed for another two hours while the rain turned into mist. They passed around the whiskey bottle and gave Talia what coins they had and promised to buy her another bottle.

Jack finally calmed down enough to relax his muscles and Talia placed a warm cloth on his chest. Black stitched crosses stretched tightly across his side, the black thread a stark contrast against his pale skin.

Talia kept an ear open for any noises in the hallway and the boys begged her to let them look out the door to see the other girls. She just shook her head.

"What if I want you boys all to myself?" she said with a sly wink.

"We should set Davie up with a gal," Race said with raised eyebrows.

David's cheeks turned red.

The boys laughed and soon they picked themselves up from the couch and floor to say goodbye to Jack.

"Quit ya whinin'," Jack said grumpily. "You're not the ones layin' here."

"He's even more stubborn when he's wounded," Race said as he put on his cap. "See ya tomorra, Cowboy."

The boys went out the window and back down the fire escape, joining the others on the sidewalk, and in a tight group they ran across the street and disappeared down an alley.

Talia threw blankets and pillows to Mush and Kid Blink (Mush won in an arm wrestle for the couch) and she turned down the gas lamps as she went back to the bed.

Jack watched her from the corner of his eye as she took off her corset and chemise, her long hair the only curtain between his eyes and her torso. He could see the bottom curve of her breast until she pulled on a silk slip. He turned away, still angry and irritated.

She crawled under the sheets and lay next to him with her head propped up on her hand, her eyes locked on his face. He stared back, his eyes flat. She reached across him and took the wet wash cloth to place on his forehead. She saw him swallow and she took it for discomfort.

She smiled, "didn't think I was going to sleep on the floor and let you have the whole bed to yourself, did you?"

He didn't answer.

"Don't worry," she said softly as she dabbed his forehead. "I only bite those who pay me to."

He looked away from her, ignoring her last comment, "Thanks."

"For?"

He motioned lazily to his side, "this."

"You would do the same for me."

"Would I?" he asked with a clever smile.

She smiled back, seeing the color returning to his cheeks.

"Get some sleep," she said, still smiling.

His smile disappeared and he watched her turn over, her long dark hair fanning across her pillow. Jack didn't get much sleep that night.

…..

But once Jack drifted off to sleep, he dreamt about the day he and the boys met Talia.

It was last summer, a year ago, just after the strike and Jack's eighteenth birthday, when the boys had finished their routes and wanted to go swimming at the docks. It was the hottest day that summer.

The brothel girls were already there, swimming in their undergarments. They were like a picture from a fantasy, like the sirens from mythology. The sailors from the docks called out to them and waited, like hawks watching prey. Some of the girls left the water to go with the sailors who lead them to the alleyways between the old dock houses.

The Newsies stripped to their undershorts and flipped into the bay one by one, seeing if the girls would notice them. Except for Jack; he took a seat on one of the wooden crates on the dock and smoked a few as he watched his friends and the girls. Mush called out to him, telling him to get in the water, but he shook his head.

"Nah," he said, looking across the bay, watching the sun on the water. "I'm good."

Jack saw one of the girls look his way and he watched her from the corner of his eye. His brow furrowed as he looked at her.

She was curvier than the other girls, healthier, like the show girls he saw in magazines, and she had long tangled hair that floated around her on the water. She had a thin face with full cheeks and lips and Jack could hear her throaty laugh from where he sat. But he dropped his gaze and looked to the hazy city across the bay, listening to the girls laugh at his friends. His eyes kept flashing over to the dark haired girl.

Mush and Kid Blink managed to get a few of the girl's names, including the one Jack was staring at, and they were smiling and flirting shamelessly. They enjoyed talking to girls but Mush and Kid weren't the type to take advantage of a girl, even if she was offering. They merely wanted to talk with them.

Jack looked back to his friends and saw the dark haired girl swimming towards him. Through the water, he could see through the slip she was wearing, seeing her full bobbing breasts. Her light eyes met his and the expression she gave him, what looked to him like lust, sent chills up his arms. But he looked away.

"What's your name?" she asked. On hearing her Russian accent, her stunning facial features suddenly made sense.

He waited for a moment then stood and went to the edge of the dock, standing over her. Then he dropped to one knee and leaned down towards her, pulling the cigarette from his mouth.

"Jack," he said with a smile. He couldn't resist: he hardly ever pursued girls but when they showed interest he didn't mind showing a little back. "Jack Kelly. Yours?"

"Natalia," she purred. "But I'm known as Talia. You one of the news boys?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," he said as he ran a hand through his hair, one of his many personality ticks. "You one of the brothel girls?"

"I guess I am," she said, mocking him. "Why aren't you swimming?"

He shrugged, "decided not to taday."

She eyed him and then smiled, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Jack Kelly."

She reached up and pulled herself up onto the low dock, reaching her hand out to him. He shook her hand and glanced down at her body, her wet slip clinging to her curves…

Then she pulled on him and he fell of the dock and splashed into the water next to her.

The boys across the way laughed as Jack emerged, shaking the water from his hair as she laughed next to him.

He smiled at her after a moment and looked slightly embarrassed but laughed.

"'s nice to meet you too."

It had been hot that day at the docks and was even warmer in Jack's dream. The sun was so vibrant and sparkled on the water drops on Talia's arms and neck. Her smile was bright, like the sunshine, and her hair wrapped around her as they swam in the cool water… she seemed happier in his dream than she was when he was awake.

Then, it was only him and her, swimming high above New York. Then another man appeared and she left Jack's side, swimming away from him.

…..

Jack woke up at noon to the sound of Kid Blink and Mush eating with Talia in the kitchen. When Talia saw Jack open his eyes, she went to his side and sat on the bed.

"How do you feel?"

He looked up at her face, shielding his eyes from the bright sunshine that flooded the room through the windows.

"I'm fine," he said as he propped himself up. He barely winced.

Talia smirked at him.

There was a firm knock on the door and everyone froze.

"You're a busy woman," Jack said disdainfully.

Talia motioned to Mush and Kid Blink and they took their toast and milk glasses into the bathroom and shut the door quietly. Talia took Jack's blanket and covered him to where only his bare chest showed. She swept her fingers through his light brown hair, making it messy.

"Don't say anything unless I need you to," she said.

He watched her go to the door and untie her robe, showing her clinging undergarments and perked breasts.

She opened the door and he saw her surprised expression when she saw who it was.

"Garrison," she said breathlessly.

Jack saw a man's arm wrap around her waist. He spied a familiar cuff link on his crisp white shirt.

"Good afternoon, gorgeous," said a silky voice. "Get dressed, I'm taking you out to lunch and dress shopping."

"I-" she was cut off when the young man kissed her. Jack saw her pull away from him, opening the door wider.

"I can't right now," she said, leaning against the door. "But perhaps later we could…"

The young man caught on, "oh, I see…you're... currently occupied."

"I won't be long," she purred.

"Don't worry, Natalia. I know full well I am not the only man in your life…Not yet, at least... But maybe just for this one time, you could make an exception-"

"She said beat it," Jack yelled, his frustration growing.

There was a pause.

"Right," said the young man, his voice soft. He leaned towards Talia and whispered, "Don't forget who I am, gorgeous...any girl would kill to be in your shoes...or in my bed."

Talia's eyes flashed but she pushed her flash of anger away and smiled coyly at him.

"I'll see you later," Talia said before closing the door. She pulled her robe around her and Mush and Kid Blink came out of the bathroom.

Kid Blink stared at the door, "Was that…?"

"Garrison Rockefeller," Jack confirmed with hatred in his eyes. "The most irritatin' guy on this side of tha bay, part of _the_ Rockefellers. I didn' know he was one of _your_ customas."

Talia looked at Jack darkly, "he would be one of yours too if you were in my position. Don't judge me, Jack."

"I just didn' know a Rockefeller had a type from the Eas' Side."

"Right. Because only _rats_ come from the East Side," she said with narrowed eyes.

Jack shook his head, his gaze cast down to the floor, "'s not what I said."

"Then what exactly _did_ you say, _Cowboy_?"

"He pay ya well?" Jack asked before he could stop himself.

"Jack," Mush said carefully, warning him.

Jack saw anger cloud Talia's cold eyes and he instantly regretted his question.

"As a matter of fact he does," she said unashamedly. "And he was here before you guys came into the picture. So if you want to stay in the picture, I'd watch what you ask."

Talia went on the other side of the bed and opened the drawer to her dresser. She sat on the bed and began pulling a stocking up her leg.

Jack gave Mush and Kid a look. They stared at Jack for a moment and then it dawned on them; he wanted them to beat it. They clambered to the window.

"We'll be back, Talia," Kid Blink said quickly before they stepped out onto the fire escape, leaving the window open. A light breeze drifted into the room and Jack could hear kids laughing in the streets.

Once Mush and Kid were down the fire escape, Jack sat up and leaned on his elbow, his upper body angled towards Talia. She was undressing again and he could see the curve of her back beneath her long hair.

"Look... I'm sorry, Talia," he said softly, his voice becoming rougher as his discomfort grew. He wasn't one for apologies.

So because he hardly ever said it, Talia knew he meant it.

"Sometimes, I can't control my mouth."

"It's okay, Cowboy," she looked at him over her bare shoulder and smiled. "A lot of men have that problem."

He stared at her blankly and watched the smile grow on her lips. He had a feeling she was talking about something else.

"Now lie back down and shut it."

He flopped back on the pillows and turned over, hiding his frustrated expression.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, David and Racetrack came back for Jack. Jack, Kid Blink and Mush had spent the entire day in Talia's apartment. Most of the time Talia was out, either down stairs with the other girls so as not to be suspicious, or in another bedroom… the boys didn't ask why.

Jack couldn't help but watch her dress again before they left her room, only this time she saw him looking as she buttoned her blouse half way. She smiled at him over her shoulder and lifted her hair from under her shirt, letting it fall down her back.

Jack looked away, feeling frustrated again.

They left through the window and Talia turned out all the lights, following the boys out on to the stairs, her long skirt dancing about her bare legs and boots. The street lamps were lit and people were returning home from their day in the city. Talia breathed the fresh air, feeling the cool air on her skin, feeling somewhat free.

Together the Newsies and Talia walked through the city and down the dusty streets. Talia pulled her thin shawl around her tightly, hoping none of the men that passed them on the street would recognize her. Even dressed in a full length skirt, a blouse and a shawl, she still felt naked. But as she walked beside Jack (who was using Kid Blink as a crutch) and David with Mush and Race behind her, she felt safe; something she hardly ever felt.

But she ignored the stares and the disgusted eyes that saw her, mostly from the women that passed them on the street.

"So, Talia…" David began shyly and curiously. "If you didn't have the…profession you have now, what would you do?"

The boys looked at David pointedly, wondering what possessed him to ask that question. They were usually very careful of what they asked Talia…especially in front of Jack. Jack never liked hearing about Talia's "work". But they were naturally curious.

Talia smiled to herself, her thoughts carrying her elsewhere, "a dancer."

"Really?" David smiled, pleasantly surprised. "Did you dance in Russia?"

"I took lessons when I was small," she said, her smile growing. "Dancing was something I used to escape for a little while, to become someone else. I could be anyone, anything I wanted to be and it would be beautiful."

Her voice was soft and David's eyes were drawn to the genuine smile on her lips, not one she flashed to the men at her door. He had a feeling that _that_ was the real Talia.

"You should dance here," David said hopefully. "I think they still have lessons at the-"

She shook her head and she wrapped her arms around herself, her face turning to stone.

"They won't take girls like me. And besides, it was the silly dream of a girl," she said softly. "A foolish girl."

Jack listened to her but did not look at her; he felt she did not want to be looked at.

They arrived at the Boarding House where the other newsies were hanging around on the stoop, waiting for Jack to return. They smiled and shouted, all smoking and laughing.

Talia never minded coming to see the newsboys. They made her laugh. And they didn't tell her lies. Newsies were known for their straightforwardness: calling it like it was and accepting it for what it was, not wanting to change anything or anyone. They had learned quickly to roll with the punches life threw at them.

"Took ya long enough, Jack," called Boots as he jumped down from the steps.

"I'd like to see ya do betta," Jack said as he shrugged off of Kid Blink's shoulder and went to sit on the step, stretching his torso.

"So what happened?" Boots asked as he sat next to Jack. "Said sumthin' bout you gettin' slugged real bad."

"I wasn' slugged real bad," Jack said defensively.

"Just almost killed," Talia said with a tight grin.

"Yeah, but Miss Fix-It here saved our Cowboy, right Talia?" Race said as he wrapped his arm around Talia, kissing her cheek.

Talia laughed and playfully shoved Race.

Jack made a face, "'s wasn' that bad."

The Newsies laughed.

"I'd better head home," said David as he glanced at his pocket watch. "I'll see you guys in the morning. Take care, Jack. See ya, Talia."

"Say hey to Sarah for me!" yelled Mush, laughing.

David waved a hand in the air and disappeared down the street.

Talia was welcomed into the world of the Newsies like she had always belonged. They sat on the stoop for an hour, just talking about the city and the scum in it, the scum they depended on every day. They were kicked out of wherever they went and were known as common "street rats". But for the Newsies, they were family.

Talia laughed harder than she had in a long while, not the fake laugh she often gave to the men she had to sleep with. She felt free to be herself, which she honestly didn't know which side of her was her real self. She had lived most of her life playing a part, hiding behind a mask. She was beginning to forget the difference between her real face and the mask she wore.

The Newsies saw her as a young woman, often forgetting that she was Jack's age. Not because of the skin she left exposed or by the way she carried herself but by her eyes: The anger that flashed in them was anger that had been within her for years; the joy that appeared in their icy depths, which was rare; or the shine that gleamed in them when she was thinking. She was experienced with life, more life than they cared to know about.

They had known her for only a year but learned much about her by the way she talked, looked. Newsies were very observant; after watching people in the city for years, they had learned how to read them.

And they hated to see her go, to leave with another man when she didn't want to. But they knew she had to.

Which is what happened while they were sitting on the old stoop outside the boarding house: they were much older, in their thirties or forties, and came walking out of the shadows with nasty grins on their faces. One had long dark hair tied back and hollow black eyes; he was broad in the chest and had bulky arms. He was the first to approach, his eyes locked on Talia like a snake hunting for a mouse. His friend hung back in the shadow of the building across the street.

Talia looked up, seeing the figure out of the corner of her eye, and some of the older newsies stood up defensively, including Mush and Kid Blink. At first they thought the men were thugs. Then they saw them looking at Talia. But even if they were here for her, this was Newsie territory.

Jack didn't stand. He knew there was no point: he would tell the scum to leave but Talia would leave with them. There was nothing Jack could say to make her stay. And he saw it in her eyes: when she was with him, she was different, real. There was a spark in her eye. When she was with a man, she became someone else, a seductress. The spark would die.

And now, as the stranger stared at her, her face changed, pulling on her mask. Her eye lids drooped and she breathed deeply, breathing him in.

It drove Jack mad. But he learned to be numb long ago.

Little did he know she had also learned to be numb too.

"Hey there, beautiful…" the man whispered huskily.

Talia could smell the sweat on the man's clothes. He and his friend were sailors from the docks. She had seen them before. They were not the gentle types...

"I've seen you before…" he purred. "I never forget a face as beautiful as yours…"

She wanted him to leave; she was having a wonderful night, here with the Newsies…but she needed the money. If the scum had any money… a gamble she'd have to take.

The man glanced at the tall muscular newsies behind her, "I'm sure your friends won't mind if we borrow you away for a few minutes...my friend and I are…_hungry_."

Talia glanced at the other man, glaring at her from the shadows, and she felt her heart beat faster; she'd seen the work these men left behind on the other girls at the brothel...there was even a rumor that they had killed one of her own. But she fought to hide her panic. She hated it when men came in groups.

Talia looked back at Jack, Kid, Mush and the boys, telling them with her eyes to be cool, to not get tense. But they weren't watching her.

She looked back to the man, moving closer to him, playing a part she had mastered long ago. She took his hand, trying to guide him away from the Newsies.

"Then let's go somewhere and…feed his appetite."

The man advanced forward quickly and wrapped his hand around her arm, his fingers digging into her. She let out a startled cry, a glare flashing across her face, and he jerked her towards him. She kept quiet as he stuck his face in her neck, smelling her hair. She kept her eyes averted.

Jack stood, forgetting his pain, and strode forward, placing his hand on the sailor's wrist tightly. The sailor hit Jack's hand away quickly.

Talia shot Jack a hard look and the man looked at him with amusement.

"Did I tread on your land, pal?" the sailor asked harshly.

Talia placed a hand on the sailor's chest and whispered to him, "Give me a minute."

Talia went inside the boarding house with the boys following. Jack stared at the sailors for a long moment. They smirked at him. A year ago, Jack wouldn't have stood a chance. He'd grown since then; he was taller and stronger now. One of the biggest Newsies. But it was the pain in his side that made him walk away.

Jack stepped into the parlor of the boarding house and sat down on the wooden staircase, feeling short of breath. His wound was pulsing like the blood boiling beneath his skin.

Talia began tucking some of her skirts into the hem at her waist, revealing one of her long slender legs.

"I'll come back tomorrow to check on you," she said without meeting his eyes.

"Don' botha," he said emotionlessly. "I won' be here."

Talia stared at Jack for a long moment, feeling lower than the dirt on his shoes.

Jack thought for a moment and looked up at Talia's exposed leg.

He shifted on the stair uncomfortably, avoiding her eyes. "Jus' be careful."

Talia didn't meet his eyes, afraid he'd see the fear in them. But she could handle herself and these men. At least, that's what she repeated to herself.

She sighed, looking up at the boys. She didn't like the looks on their faces; Mush and Kid Blink were glaring at the men outside. She looked at them for a moment and then disappeared out the door. Jack stood and went to the window, watching the two men approach her. Although she followed them willingly into the alley, they held her arms tightly and drug her into the darkness until she was consumed by the shadows where he couldn't see her.

"It ain' _right_," Kid Blink said in frustration as he and the boys went up the creaky stairs to their bunk room. "It ain' right! Jack, we coulda stopped them."

"She wouldn' let us, Kid," Jack said as he dragged himself up the stairs, Mush close behind him.

Kid Blink walked angrily into the bunk room, throwing his cap onto his bed. "Man, you _know_ they had more on their minds than just-"

"_I know, Blink!_" Jack shouted, going quickly to the wide window at the other side of the room, his hand pressed to his side. He began pacing up and down the aisle between the bunk beds. His friends watched him as his words came out in angry fragments until he could form a complete sentence.

"Ya think I don' know-know that she might end up dead on tha street one mornin'? She doesn' _care_, Kid! Let her go! _Damn it_!"

Jack fell onto a bunk, not caring if it was his or not, and shut his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the tear in his side. He took off his shirt violently and threw it onto the floor.

The boys stared at their leader for a long moment, watching as he covered his eyes tiredly with his hands and moan in frustration. Not knowing what else to say or do, they began preparing for bed. Kid Blink went over to Jack and sat next to him, looking out the window to the alley where Talia went.

"Jack," said Kid Blink earnestly, "Talk to me, man."

Jack shrugged and sat up, trying to come across as indifferent. He winced and pressed his hand to his side, looking back to the window.

"'s nothin' ta say."

"You had a lot to say just then," Kid Blink said, his voice almost angry. "You _always_ get this way, Jack. 's not hard to worry about her…especially since she puts herself in danger this way..."

Jack didn't say anything; his anger had not yet subsided. Kid Blink was one of his best friends but he still wasn't ready to open up to him, not about this.

Knowing Jack wouldn't sleep until he saw Talia come out of the alley, Kid Blink squeezed his friend's shoulder gently and went to crash in his own bunk.

"No good scum," said Race from his bunk, chewing angrily on his cigar. "I knew I recognized 'em; they busted me out at the races last week."

"She's been seeing a Rockefeller," said Mush, staring up at the ceiling from his top bunk with his hands behind his head.

Race looked up at him, "'s not much betta, Mush."

Jack sat on the bed, staring out the window for another thirty minutes. The boys' voices faded and soon they were all sleeping.

Jack glanced around anxiously and flopped around on the bunk, trying to shake off the worry in his head, the thoughts…and he fought to make himself believe he didn't care. But he did. Every passing minute was another painful hour that he didn't know if she would come out of the alley.

But she did. Talia emerged from the shadows alone with a torn blouse and tangled hair, glancing around to make sure she was alone. But there were no bruises, from what Jack could see, and her face looked the same. But she limped along the wall of the building across the street, holding onto the bricks and her lower stomach. She slumped to the ground and rested her head against the brick. She grimaced, clinching her lower stomach.

Jack stared at her for a moment before reaching for his shirt. After dressing carefully and loosely tucking in his shirt, he walked to the staircase, ignoring the pain that was slowly subsiding. He bounced down the stairs quickly and not caring if the boarding house keeper, Kloppman, saw him or not, he left through the front door.

Talia heard the door open before she saw who it was exiting the boarding house. She quickly stood and leaned against the wall. When she saw it was Jack, she showed a tired relieved smile.

He couldn't help the irritated glare in his eyes; why she thought it was ok to smile at him, he had no idea.

Jack strode over to her casually, his hands in his pockets, and he tried not to look at her dirty ripped clothes. He looked her in the eyes for a moment, reading her. She looked back at him unashamedly.

"Ya a'right?" he asked evenly.

She smiled, tilting her head back and closing her eyes. Jack saw the marks on her neck. He looked away, his jaw clenched tight.

"I'm always alright, Cowboy. Nothing more, nothing less."

"C'mon," he said, motioning with a tilt of his head. "I'll walk ya."

She smiled at him and then her smile dropped, her piercing blue eyes burning into his. He didn't like the way she was looking at him, seeing through him.

"You waited for me."

He ignored the gentle tone in her thick voice.

"Be careful there, Jack," she said as she began to walk, wincing. "Soon you'll start to care."

He began walking with her down the street, not knowing what time it was nor caring. It was a pleasant night; the air was cool and the sky was clear. The buildings and alleys were silent and for a little while it seemed like Talia and Jack were the only ones in New York.

"So," Jack said at last to break the silence. "Ya wanted ta be a danca."

She laughed, "you and your _accent_."

"Ya one ta talk," he shot back.

She laughed and he couldn't help but crack a small smirk.

"Yes, I wanted to be a _dancer_."

"Are ya any good?"

"Better than you, I think."

"'s that so?"

She laughed again and he shook his head, smiling now.

"I don't want to go home," she said suddenly. She clutched her stomach.

He looked down at her and saw that beneath her tough expression, the one she always wore, she was feeling something she had never let him see before. It was something between fear and heartbreak, maybe both.

"Okay," he said with a sigh, thinking. "So where to?"

They walked around the city for what seemed like hours until they stopped at the docks, the place they had met over a year ago. They threw rocks and small pieces of wood into the bay and watched the sky turn from navy to purple with the rising sun. She felt safe and comfortable and he saw it in her eyes, heard it in her voice.

Jack and Talia never really had time to where it was just the two of them. Jack was still uncertain of how to act around her but on this night it was simple: he was talkative and even a little silly, something he was only around Mush and Kid Blink, talking in strange funny voices as he imitated the people in his life. He laughed louder than Talia had ever heard when he told her about the boys-his brothers-and his eyes crinkled when he smiled.

And she laughed too. It was a husky soothing sound to Jack. She even opened up to him; her past was always such a mystery to him.

"I came here with such silly dreams," she said, laughing as she watched the distant ships and fishing boats leave the docks across the bay.

"I remember my first day in America. I remember thinking how dirty it was. Nothing like the pictures I had seen in school."

He laughed softly with her. Then the brightness in her eyes faded and she smiled sadly, like a girl letting go of what was lost.

"What about your parents?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged, "They went back to Russia. I stayed. They missed home but knew I had a better chance here."

Something dark crossed her expression and he knew not to pry.

"What about yours?" she asked.

"My mother died a while ago," he said casually, tossing a stone into the bay. "My father's in the hands of the state penitentiary."

She nodded, "Kid Blink told me you wanted to go out West, _Cowboy_."

He shrugged, "I did. But something told me to stay here." He laughed humorlessly, "But I'm beginning to wonder why. There's nothing here for me."

Her eyes glassed over as she stared at the water, "I've been thinking the same thing lately."

He looked at her for a moment, seeing the hopelessness take place in her eyes. Then he realized he recognized that hopelessness in himself. He was content to stay with the Newsies in New York, his home, but every now and then he thought of Santa Fe and pulled out his ragged magazine to look at the Cowboy, wishing it was him.

"I guess dreams are only for those who can make them come true," she said huskily.

"Nah," he said as he pushed his fingers through his hair. "Dreams are fa everybody. They're what make nights the best time a day."

"Not for me," she said sadly. She pulled her shawl around her tightly.

He looked at her, trying to read her eyes.

That was why they only talked about small things, never getting in too deep as they both knew not to do. They both knew intimacy came at a price.

"But this was a good night," she said, smiling at him and pulling on one of her many masks. "Well, some parts of it. Thank you, Jack."

"For?" he asked quietly, his eyes locked on her face.

She smiled beautifully, her genuine smile, "for making this the best part of my day."

She quickly stood up, looking away from him.

"I should be going…" she said, her voice deeper than before. She fixed her skirts and blouse. "I promised Garrison…"

Jack looked down at the water, feeling his anger rising: he had almost forgotten about Rockefeller and her.

He walked her back to the brothel and stopped a block away. He watched her walk to the front of the building, her long hair blowing lightly around her face, and he saw her wave to him before she disappeared through the door.

He turned away and walked back to the boarding house as the sun began to rise.

…..


	3. Chapter 3

Days passed and neither Jack nor the other Newsies had seen Talia. They knocked on her window only to find she was not home and often left disappointed, hoping she was alright. Jack fought the anxiety in him, thumping and pounding in his chest, and he waited for her to come around to the boarding house after he had finished selling his papes. But she was nowhere to be seen.

Until Mush saw her on the street one day, two weeks since Jack had last seen her, with her arm was wrapped around Garrison Rockefeller's.

"I saw her," Mush said with bright eyes as he came into the bunkroom. The boys sat up and Jack's dark eyes pierced into Mush. They had all been laying around the bunkroom, trying to keep cool, their shirts laying scattered on the floor.

"Is she okay?" Kid Blink asked eagerly from the bunk above Jack's.

Mush fumbled with his hat, not looking at Jack. "Yeah, she looks fine…she was with that Rockefeller again. Sorry, Jack…"

Jack's eyebrows furrowed and he shrugged his shoulders, "why should I care?"

"She was wearing a new dress…they were out shopping I think…she looked happy."

Kid Blink shook his head, "Ah, I don't trust 'em."

"Me either," said Mush. "His eyes were all over her…I don't think she saw me."

Jack impulsively slammed his foot into the wooden post of his bunk and everyone watched him as he left the room, thundered down the stairs, and burst through the front door.

…..

Talia had never seen such beautiful things. Garrison watched her with a smile as she walked about the shop in her new dress that trailed behind her, covered in lace. She had new stockings and shoes and new corsets. Typically women didn't let men buy them corsets, especially in public, but Talia didn't see the harm in it. He picked them out himself.

She tried on blue dresses, yellow dresses, pearls, diamonds, silk gloves and hats with long ribbons. She felt she was living every girl's dream, a fantasy. She felt special and admired. Garrison couldn't take his hazel eyes off her.

He was a handsome young man, twenty-three years old, and wore his brown hair slicked back. He wore new suits every day it seemed and he always carried cash. He bought her anything and everything she tried on; anything that looked _good_ on her.

He took her to friends' parties, family dinner parties, and social gatherings. Some knew she was not of the social elite because Garrison was known to bring around lower class girls dressed up in the fancy clothes he had bought them hours before. But Talia didn't know.

He would pinch her leg under the table and she would smile at him even though she didn't care for it at all; it ruined the fantasy. She would be reminded of who she really was, not one of the dolls she saw parading around at the parties.

His family took no interest in her. The only one who did was Garrison; he looked at her like she was a prize, a gem he didn't want to lose.

But little did she know, other eyes watched her too.

…..

It was a cool night, three weeks since Jack had sat with Talia on the docks.

He was with the older Newsies, Kid Blink, Race, Mush, and David and some others like Pie Eater, Snoddy, Specs, Skittery, and Jake. They were walking the streets, laughing and smoking freshly rolled cigarettes they had made with their day's earnings. Jack tried not to pay attention to their destination, close to the brothel. But right as they were nearing its front doors, Talia came walking out. She was looking down the street when her eyes fell on them.

Jack stared at her as the others yelled in excitement and ran up to her. She was wearing a long fitted burgundy gown, embroidered with beads and jewels, her breasts exposed a little, with long matching gloves that covered her elbows. Her dark hair was pinned up and she had diamonds hanging from her ears. She looked like a woman from a picture, someone else.

She smiled at them, "Hello, boys."

"Look at _you_," Race said, raising his eyebrows in appraisal and taking her hand to lead her down the steps. "I've neva seen so many things on a woman that could blind me."

"You look beautiful," David said, his voice full of sincerity.

Kid Blink and Mush looked at each other with broad smiles then rubbed David's head with their knuckles and pushed him playfully.

"What?" David laughed. "I was being serious."

She laughed awkwardly; it was obvious she did not want them there; she looked ashamed and Jack saw it.

She met Jack's eyes and her cheeks turned pinker under her rouge, "How have you been, Jack?"

"I'm good," he replied. He felt the bitterness growing inside him, ready to bubble over. "I see you're movin' up in tha world."

Talia shrugged. Her movements and manners didn't match with the dress she was wearing.

"I'm only taking advantage of the opportunities that have been given to me," she purred, her accented voice dripping from her painted lips.

Jack nodded, his eyes on the ground as he kicked up a cloud of dirt. He could hear girls' laughter and men's deep voices from inside the brothel. As much as he hated to think it, he wished she was inside there instead of out here, waiting for Garrison.

Talia's smile faded as she watched him. She saw it in his eyes, the look he always got when he was irritated.

"Say what you are thinking, Jack."

He shook his head, laughing to himself, "you don' wanna know what I'm thinkin'."

"Jack…" Kid Blink pleaded.

Jack looked up to his friends, all watching him, knowing he was angry. Disgusted.

He scoffed, "What? You don' want me ta ruin her night? Her night ta pretend?"

Talia's eyes turned to stone. "Listen, Jack-"

Jack stepped towards her, "No, _you_ listen."

She was surprised by his abruptness and how close he was to her face. Her eyes were level with his and she could feel his breath on her face. She felt her body tense, becoming defensive.

"You think you fit in now but ya don't. You're in with tha sharks, Talia, the deadliest people in tha city. They can ruin ya life with one word and take everything from ya and everyone but you knows it. They'll eat ya alive and won' give a damn."

Something inside her snapped.

"Men eat me alive _every_ _night_ and don't give a damn!" she shouted viciously, her eyes full of emotion. Her voice echoed off the buildings around them, piercing their ears. "What do _you_ know about it?!"

The boys stared at her, not wanting to listen but too surprised by her outburst to look away. Jack's jaw tightened, his eyes burning into hers. He didn't like what she said.

She breathed deeply for a minute, trying to control herself. Then she laughed humorlessly, deciding to let Jack have it. He'd opened the door.

"You think I _enjoy_ what I do? Being a servant to the _sick_ fantasies of men? As sick as tying me to my _own_ _bed_ and having their way- as long as they're satisfied then _what else matters_? So determined to have their fun that they can't hear my screams and don't care if I wake up after I'm out cold? You think I _enjoy_ that, _Cowboy_?"

Mush looked down the street, covering his mouth, not believing what he was hearing, what she was saying. He felt sick. They all did. Jack glanced around, his face hard as stone.

Talia's eyes gleamed with hatred as she read his eyes. "I've been doing this for ten years, Jack. _Ten_ _years_! And it's gotten me nothing except a handful of sweaty money and bruises. I can't live like that anymore. And if this is how I get out, then so be it."

Jack felt a pain go through him and it wasn't because of his healing wound. Her words; he had said those words to David when he had become a scabber back when the strike was almost over and he had given up. Jack was determined to betray himself to get what he thought he deserved. Talia was giving up. though she thought it was better than sleeping with scum, fading into the world of the Rockefellers was worse. Much worse.

"Talia, you're not one of 'em."

"Jack, c'mon," Mush said. "Let it go."

"You think I wanna see her hurt?" Jack said angrily. He paused and looked down, frustrated with the way he was talking. He thought the words but he didn't want to say them out loud.

Mush backed away, his eyes glancing at Talia. She looked at Jack's face, still close enough to hers that she could see that he'd meant what he'd said.

"I won't get hurt, Jack."

"Like hell ya won'," he said bitterly, stepping away and then closer to her. "No matta what dress he puts on ya," he quickly touched the sleeve of her dress, his fingers grazing her skin, "They'll still see a street rat."

Talia slapped Jack hard across the face.

Jack looked at the ground for a moment, the sting warm on his cheek, and then looked up at her cold eyes. She breathed heavily as she stared at him, her eyes wild.

"The only rat I see," she said evenly, "is you."

After looking at the boys one last time, Talia turned and walked briskly down the street.

"I've gotta bad feelin', Jack," Kid Blink said, watching Talia's figure disappear.

Jack spit on the ground and wiped his mouth. He looked up at the sky.

"An' we can' do a damn thing about it," he said huskily.

"We'll stay here," Much said as he clapped Kid Blink on the shoulder. "Keep a look out, huh?"

Jack nodded and began walking back down the street. He needed to get away.

…..

Talia's night was filled with champagne and dancing. She met Garrison's schoolmates and danced with them. Their eyes made her skin crawl but she fought it with a smile on her face.

Faces swirled past her eyes, her head began to swim from the champagne and she stumbled through dance after dance with at least five different men. Her feet swelled in her shoes and she wanted to sit down but hands kept reaching for her. She breathed, becoming numb, and pushed through it. After everything Garrison had done for her, she wanted to live this night to its fullest. And she knew she had to get used to the parading if there were to be more nights like this one.

She barely noticed the circle of young men around Garrison at the high paned windows.

"She's a real Russian beauty," said one of Garrison's friends.

"She'll be worth every penny," Garrison told him with a sly smile.

Garrison's friend handed him a stack of money.

"I bet she will."

…..

Garrison smiled down at Talia who was hanging on his arm, carrying her shoes in her other hand. Her breasts were heaving with every breath she took and he looked back over his shoulder, seeing the hunger in his friends' eyes as they walked behind them.

Rockefeller took her shoes out of her hands, "Allow me."

She smiled at him and he stopped walking. He held her hand and pulled her closer, kissing her shoulder. She glanced back at his friends behind him and tried to pull away. Her stomach suddenly lurched and she didn't know why.

"Wait 'til we get to my place…" she said in his ear.

"Why wait?" he asked, nipping her neck.

Talia's heart skipped and she pushed away from Garrison, stumbling backwards and tripping on her dress. She regained her balance and stared at Garrison.

"Something wrong?" Garrison asked.

His friends walked closer, encircling her. They had been so nice and charming to her in the ballroom, dancing with her and complimenting her like she was one of their girls. She looked at them all now, seeing the twisted fantasies in their heads; the fantasies that would've made the girls in their world faint, too disgusting for men of their stature. Hatred appearing on her face. She should've known.

"It won't be so bad, beautiful," purred Garrison. "You're used to it right?"

She reached between her breasts and pulled out a small switchblade. She held it tightly in her hand, pointed at the man across from her. He was tall and dark and his fingers were ridged like claws, his broad shoulders pulling at his tux jacket.

"_Do not touch me_," she hissed. It was the best she could do; she knew she was more than outnumbered. She could see the switchblade in her hand shaking and so could they.

Two of the five men came at her, holding her arms. She fought and kicked as hard as she could and someone took the knife from her hands. She bit at them and kicked and she heard Garrison chuckle.

"Have to admire her spirit."

"Makes it more fun," one said to him before walking towards her.

She bit one's hand and he looked at her in disgust before slapping her hard across the face, his cufflink cutting her cheek.

The other men came to help. Two took her between two buildings where the shadows covered them. Garrison followed, his hands in his pockets as he watched with an amused expression. The men held her to the wall of a building and the other three began feeling up her skirt and squeezed her breasts until she cried out. Bunch of mindless apes dressed in suits.

She began screaming when they began unzipping their pants.

"LET GO OF ME!"

She could only think of one person and she screamed as loud as she could, hoping against hope that he was near by. But it was unlikely.

"JACK!"

Two blocks away, Kid Blink and Mush heard the screams. Mush ran down the other street to find Jack and the others; they were half way across the city at the Boarding House. Mush hoped he would find them in time, dirt kicking up in his wake.

Kid Blink ran towards the screams, his hat blowing off his blonde hair. After turning a corner, he saw Garrison and heard the screams coming from the alley. Kid Blink ran into the alley and saw them: two men were holding Talia and the other three…

He didn't stop to comprehend what they were doing; he ran at them, punching and kicking until one hit him in the face. He managed to hit the man in the jaw but was knocked to the ground by another who kicked him in the ribs.

"Kid Blink!" Talia screamed.

They kicked him again.

"KID BLINK!"

She fought as hard as she could, feeling one of the men press hard against her, shoving his hand up her dress. She grunted. He gripped her, hard. And the pain was unbearable. His fingers were inside her.

"I'll get what I paid for, _whore,_" he threatened. His expensive cologne filled her nose as he gripped her flesh tighter.

A growl escaped her lips and she bit his neck as hard as she could. The man screamed in pain and slapped her again, her head hitting the wall. She slumped against the wall.

Then the weight of the man was gone; someone pushed the man off her and she felt the others let go of her arms and torso. Without the men to hold her up, she fell down against the wall, her head pounding.

She heard running footsteps and saw the men in tuxes running away into the street. She heard shouting, the newsies shouting.

The men were outnumbered. All the older Newsies, too many to count, were there in the street, four to a tux. They knew the bulls would arrive soon with that many of them shouting and fighting.

Jack turned to Rockefeller who was being held against the building by Mush and David.

"Rockefella," he said cordially as he wiped his lip on the back of his hand.

"I'll have you _all_ arrested," Garrison spat. "Bunch of _rats_."

Jack punched him in the face, his head cracking against the wall. Mush and David dropped him and he lay still on the sidewalk, moaning.

Jack went back into the alley and saw Talia laying on the ground. He knelt in front of her, ignoring the dull pain in his side, and reached out to take her arm. The moment he touched her, her hand struck at him, almost hitting him in the face.

"_Don't touch me_!" She shouted, opening her eyes.

Jack froze and his eyes roamed over her: her hair was matted with blood and he saw fury in her striking eyes.

The men disappeared down the road, leaving Garrison behind, and other newsies watched from the alley opening, panting hard and keeping an ear open for bull whistles. Talia looked deadly, like a snake about to strike, but they could see the fear in her eyes, the hurt.

She stared up at Jack, her chest heaving with every angry breath, and her red eyes watered. Jack stared, unsure of what he was seeing: he had never seen her shed tears before. It didn't seem right.

He wanted punch Rockefeller one more time. But she needed him.

Her mouth shook as she spoke, her voice like a hiss, "is _this_ what you wanted?"

Jack's brow furrowed as he looked at her. She was like a dark wounded animal, wild with fury, the tiger with a thorn in her side. But he refused to feel sorry for her.

He reached towards her and she flinched away from him, not wanting him to touch her. But he persisted and put his arm around her to lift her to her feet. She began hitting him, trying to push him away. He got her to her feet and she pushed him away. She wobbled and he held her by the arms to hold her up. She began hitting him, determined to hurt him. Wanting to hurt someone, anyone close enough for her to hit.

Jack remained silent and waited until she was done, still holding her up by her arms. She hit him as hard as she could and he began to think she was hitting someone else. His chest pulsed and throbbed with every hit and he watched her face twist with rage. Then her fists became to heavy to lift and her face went pale. Her body slumped, her eyes rolling with dizziness as her head fell back. Jack wrapped his arms around her before she could fall to the ground.

"'s alright ," Jack said quietly, a little to himself; he was still shaking with rage but those scabbers didn't matter anymore. He had to take care of Talia.

He placed his hand behind her head, cautious not to wake the animal inside her again. "'s alright."

Jack could smell the alcohol on her breath. He expected that something had been in whatever Garrison had given her and was beginning to take affect. He picked her up in his arms and she did not complain or push him away. She moaned in pain and a sob escaped her lips. Jack pretended to not hear it.

They managed to get her to the boarding house without running into the bulls. Jack carried her up the stairs and into the bunkroom. Race, David, Mush and Kid Blink told everyone else to beat it while Jack helped Talia. The rest of the Newsies went down to sit on the stoop to wait and watch for trouble while Kloppman was out.

Jack laid her on a regular creaky bed near the back window and he crouched next to her on the floor. He didn't know what to do.

She tossed and turned, moaning and gently sobbing, not knowing where she was. Her eyes were cloudy, roaming over Jack's face and looking at the others like she's never seen them before. She was sickly pale, a sheen of sweat on her forehead.

"These sheets are clean..." she mumbled tiredly. Her voice was thick, like she had been shouting for hours.

"What's wrong with her?" Mush asked, watching her eyes roll around like she couldn't see.

"She's been drugged," Race said angrily. "Rockefellas can probably afford the most expensive concentrated drugs on this side of the bay."

"Jack, you may not be able to avoid a doctor on this one," David pleaded. "She could be in more pain than she even realizes."

"She'll be arrested," Jack said evenly.

On hearing Jack's voice, she shifted towards him, her face pale.

"Jack..."

"I'm here," he said. His face was like stone.

"Something hurts…" she whispered, her tired eyes confused. She pulled at the skirt of her dress, now ruined with dirt.

He untangled the skirt from around her ankles and lifted the fabric over her shins. The boys made uncomfortable noises: blood was trickling down her legs.

"Someone get some rags," Jack said darkly as he rolled up his sleeves.

Mush, Race and Kid Blink broke from their still statue-like stances to help and David ripped a blanket off one of the bunks, setting it next to Talia. Kid Blink got her a glass of water and set it next to her bed. Mush got damp rags from the bathroom.

"We'll be downstairs, Jack," said Kid Blink, his unpatched eye unreadable as he looked at Talia.

"Jus' wanna give her some space," Mush finished.

Jack nodded and the boys left.

He was alone with her, a girl who'd been beaten and tormented and he was supposed to fix her. He had no idea what to do. A part of him didn't even want to undress her, afraid of what he'd see underneath.

But he had to.

Wrapping his fingers around the hem of her dress, Jack watched Talia carefully as he slowly lifted the fabric over her legs. She looked at him expressionlessly.

"I'm not gonna do anythin'," he said deliberately.

Her eyes narrowed, still foggy, and smirked mercilessly. "I'm used to hands, Cowboy," she said slowly, her words slurring. "Yours are no different."

He stared at her for a moment and then took one of the rags Mush had put next to him. He wadded the cloth in his hand and pulled her skirt up further until he saw the curve of her inner thighs and the lace cloth of her slip. Jack felt her eyes on him as he slowly placed the cloths between her thighs. He breathed slowly, his heart racing. But it was Talia, hurt, and though she would never admit it, she needed him. That was the thought he told himself to keep steady.

She shut her eyes tightly, feeling the sting.

"No," she sobbed gently.

Jack instantly stopped and looked at her. "I'm not gonna hurt ya, Talia."

"No," she said, shaking her head from side to side as if trying to forget. "I need a shower."

Jack took his hand out from between her thighs and saw the rag was coated in fresh blood.

Talia sat up slowly and struggled to get out of the constricting dress. Jack steadied her with one hand placed on her back and helped undo the buttons on the side of the dress. He slid it off her shoulders, leaving the light pink silk slip on. But she slipped that off too, revealing her breasts and everything else, not seeming to care. He swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

Her body was bruised, badly, and he fought not to look at her or the bloody mess between her legs; there were deep scratches and fingernail marks. He scooped her up into his arms and lifted her from the bed. She fought to walk by herself but she hung like a ragdoll. Her skin was warm against him.

He took her into the bathroom, a room with stalls of showers and toilets with a row of sinks in the middle. It was a warm humid room and still damp from the morning steam. Jack opened a stall door and closed it behind him, setting Talia on her feet. He turned on the faucet and Talia groaned under the cold water. Jack took off his button down shirt but left everything else, his pants, under shirt, and shoes on. He didn't notice or care.

He held Talia until the water turned warm and he stepped away from her. But she grabbed his arm and he stepped closer to her again. She didn't say anything; she didn't have to.

He took a cloth that was draped over the door. He rubbed the wet cloth over her forehead, washing away the blood, and rubbed it over the rest of her. He tried not to linger too much on her skin. When he glanced at her face, he saw her eyes looking at him and for reasons unknown to him, he felt ashamed. She looked so broken.

He washed her clean: he washed away all the men, every man that had taken her away, every man that had ever breathed on her, every man that had hurt her. Without realizing, he found himself letting his fingers trail over her skin. The warm water poured over her perfect body and he watched her as she tilted her head back, letting the water roll down her neck, her chest.

He glanced down to the bruised wound between her legs. A circle of small cuts were on the outside. He hoped there weren't any wounds inside her... His jaw went ridged and suddenly the pain of his own wound seemed to be nothing now.

And he held her. Water dripped down his hair and clothes but his eyes stayed fixed on the shower floor, seeing nothing but feeling everything; his finger tips felt sensitive on her skin and every time she brushed his bare chest, he felt like he was on fire. She breathed evenly and seemed to melt beneath him, her body pressing into his.

Soon the water turned cold and he turned the faucet off. He picked up her wet body and carried her back into the bunkroom to the bed. He wrapped her in a sheet and went to close the door. He knew the boys would stay outside all night if he asked them to. But he would join them once she fell asleep.

He came back to her and sat on the foot of her bed, staring out the window. He rubbed a hand over his face.

She stared at the ceiling and her eyes almost looked normal again.

"You were right, Cowboy," she said quietly.

Her voice was hoarse but Jack heard something else too. He turned to her, seeing her beautiful face, and waited.

She laughed darkly, "I had it coming."

"Don' do that," he said, shaking his head as he looked away. "Don' say that."

She began to sit up, gathering the sheets around her, "I shouldn't be here."

Jack looked at her in disbelief and grabbed her arm forcefully as she tried to throw her legs over the side of the bed, the sheets hanging on her body. She managed to stand but he stood with her, blocking her.

"You're stayin' here," he said firmly, his eyes level with hers.

She stared at him with an amused smirk as she leaned back against the wall, sliding to the floor. He knelt in front of her, his brow furrowed; the drug seemed to be wearing off. He could see the hatred returning to her eyes. But the hatred was not for him.

"I wish they would have killed me," she said slowly.

Her face looked pale and sickly and her eyes were gray, drained of color and emotion. She was worse than wounded: she was scarred.

"At first, every time, I would cry," she said. "Russian men are much more...aggressive...than the men here. I used to sleep on the floor so I wouldn't have to feel the mattress beneath me when I slept. On a bed, I forgot whether I was awake or asleep…"

Jack saw that her mind was elsewhere, lost in her own thoughts. Maybe it was the dehydration or the drug but he didn't say anything. He only listened.

"Then I stopped crying," she said, smiling. "I forgot how. Soon your body becomes a drawer: men open it when they like, take what they want and close it when they're done. You become numb."

She closed her eyes, exhaling, "I was nine when my father sold me for the first time."

Her face tensed and she met his eyes.

Her voice cracked, "I was a whore in Russia and I became a whore in America. I lied to you, Jack; I wanted to go back to Russia but my mother told me to stay here when they left. She knew I was no good but said I had a better chance here. It was all I knew. And I was good at it. I became the best."

Jack looked away.

"I could make men fall to their knees," she purred, leaning closer to him. She pushed his hair away from his forehead with her fingers, leaning forward until the sheet around her fell around her waist, revealing her. But Jack looked at her with no emotion, pulling his own mask over his face. He was looking at the seductress, not Talia.

She stared into his eyes, reading him, and then scoffed.

"Now I'm the one on my knees. Because_ I_ need _them_." Her eyes were locked with his but she was seeing something else, far away. Then her eyes focused on him, lingering in his cold gaze.

"I don't deserve you, Jack Kelly."

"Wha's that mean?"

"Because you don't look at me the way they do. That's how I know."

"I could," he said quickly, his eyes flickering darkly with desire.

She shook her head, now laughing at him, leaning away from him.

Jack moved towards her and laid his hand on her neck below her jaw, making her look at him. She watched him with narrowed eyes and he looked into them as his hand traveled. His rough fingers left trails on her skin, traveling down to the curve of her left breast. Then he stopped. He placed his hand on the other side of her neck, directing her face towards him. He could feel her breath on his cheeks, his lips. He didn't understand why she was trembling.

He looked intently into her eyes, his nerves on fire, "I could be like them, Talia. But I won'. Because I don' want what _they_ pay for."

She shook her head, "If you're looking for something, Jack," she smiled sadly, "You won't find it here."

"I think you're bluffin'."

"Don't," she said loudly, pushing his hands away. "Don't waste your breath, Cowboy…"

"Stop tellin' me what ta do," he said.

She rested against the wall again, staring at him. He fought not to look at her exposed breasts and flat stomach. There were bruises on her ribcage.

Slowly, he took the sheet around her waist and wrapped it around her. Her brow furrowed as she watched him. He helped her to get her back into the bed and he sat next to her on the floor, resting against the wall. He leaned his head back, sighing and staring ahead of him.

"I don' care what you say, Talia," he said. "People can still surprise ya."

He looked at her, seeing her smiling softly, the softest smile he had ever seen on her lips, which were still stained from her lipstick that she had put on hours ago. But there was still that anger, deep inside her and shown in her eyes like a flame burning just beneath the surface. He knew it would stay there for years, maybe her whole life. But she was safe with him and that's all he cared about.

"Get some sleep," he said. "I'm not goin' anywhere."


	4. Chapter 4

Talia's heavy eyelids slowly lifted. The room was hazy and her head was throbbing. She couldn't remember much what had happened after they had gotten back to the Boarding House...she remembered talking to Jack, him holding her under water...

She turned her face to the ceiling and her eyes widened: there was a man above her, pressing down on her. She couldn't see his face; he was a stranger, just a man with a shadowed face.

She shouted, her voice exploding from her throat, dry and raspy, and she swung her arms at the man. She couldn't understand why she couldn't hit him; he wasn't moving. He was touching her everywhere. His rough finger tips burned her skin and his laugh was in her ear.

She heard Jack's voice next to her and felt his hands on her wrists.

"Talia!"

"Get off me!" she screeched. Why couldn't Jack see the man?

She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and Mush's voice at the door.

"Jack! What are ya doin', man?!"

"GET HIM OFF ME!" she yelled, thrashing her arms.

"Jack!" Kid Blink shouted.

"She's havin' a night mare," Jack shouted hoarsely. "Talia, damn it, open your eyes!"

After a moment of fighting his hands, her eyes fluttered open, the haze of the dream lifting from her vision. She saw Jack bent over her with his arms on either side of her, his hands tightly wound around her wrists. Mush and Racetrack were at the door and Kid Blink was at the foot of her bed, his hands balled up in tight fists. She heard murmuring voices on the stairs.

She breathed heavily for a moment, feeling the sticky sweat on her back and chest. She looked around the room and realized the man had not been real. She looked up at Jack, inches from her face

"She was havin' a nightmare," Jack said defensively, his eyes on Kid Blink as he let go of Talia. Though with his shirt off and Talia naked under the sheets, he knew what it had looked like to his friends...

Kid Blink breathed heavily for a moment. His gaze softened as he looked at his best friend and his fists slackened.

"I'm sorry, Jack," Kid Blink said sincerely.

Jack looked down at Talia, his solemn eyes reading her face.

"Talia?" He asked slowly. He was panting too, his chest heaving and sweat gleamed on his bare chest.

He knelt by her bed and she recoiled, leaning away from him, staring at his face for a long moment. The dream had been so real…and Jack had been right there. For reasons she couldn't explain, she suddenly felt dirty and ashamed, emotions she was not accustomed to. She felt strangely towards him...she felt...uncomfortable.

She pulled the sheets around her, hiding from his dark intense gaze.

His heavy brow furrowed, "'s matta?" His voice sounded irritated.

"You okay, Talia?" Mush asked hesitantly from the door.

"I'm fine," she said. Her voice scratched her throat. She looked through the row of bunk beds, meeting the staring eyes at the door.

She rolled over, away from Jack, and shut her eyes, hoping they would all stop looking at her and disappear.


	5. Chapter 5

*So, a few changes to this chapter. I read back over it and realized that Talia is so damn stubborn; whenever she wants something, she gets it. So this is a new take on this scene. Hopes this is better; I think it fits her character!*

Jack was still sitting against the wall next to Talia's cot when he woke. Gray sunlight was pouring in from the windows and he heard the boys laughing in the bathroom. His eyes blinked open, heavy and tired, and he rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair. It must have been at least six in the morning; he could feel the dark circles under his eyes.

He turned to look at Talia. But she wasn't there. He looked around the bunkroom, standing up.

"Where is she?" he asked loudly.

The boys in the bathroom all looked at him, looked around the room, and looked at him as if they were coming out of a daze, unsure.

"She was 'ere when we came in, Cowboy," said Boots.

"'ey, Cowboy, she left," said Specs as he stepped out of the shower.

"Left where?" Jack demanded.

Then, Kid Blink and Mush came into the bunkroom, breathing hard and bent over their knees.

"She's left, Jack," Kid Blink panted. "We tried to find her. She's not at the brothel. I don' know where she's gone, Jack. But I don' have a very good feelin'."

"Me either," said Mush. "Her dress is gone too."

Jack looked around the bed and saw that Mush was right: every sign of her was gone. Jack strode to his bunk and ripped a button up shirt from his bedside table and his gray vest. He dressed as he walked to the door and past Mush and Kid Blink. They turned and followed him down the stairs.

"I'll stay 'ere, Jack," Racetrack said solemnly, "In case she comes back."

Jack nodded and he bounded down the stairs, his friends following him.

Jack knew she wouldn't be going back to the brothel. Not yet. He knew her better…he knew where she was. But he couldn't explain why his heart was about to burst from his chest. Like his best friends, he didn't have a good feeling.

They went to the boat docks, the early morning sun bathing the city in hazy golden sunlight. The water was covered in a light fog, blocking the view of the other side of the bay. Ships passed slowly, like dark creatures crawling on the water. It was eerie.

They ran along the docks, their eyes scanning and their boots thumping on the worn wood. They passed the dock workers who shouted at them that they shouldn't be here. They ran to the farthest ends of the docks where it was abandoned. They ran until Kid Blink shouted, "Talia!"

Jack saw her, wearing her dress from last night, standing barefoot on the edge of the boat dock, staring at the fog floating over the water. Her long dark hair was tangled and dirty, falling down her back, and her skin was the palest it had ever been. She looked thin, like a different person. They ran to her dock and Jack motioned for them to stay back. He walked closer to her. Her head turned a little.

"Talia," Jack said, gasping for air. His brow furrowed: what the hell was she doing?

"You shouldn't have come here, Jack."

"Ya know me betta than that," he breathed. "Why'd the hell did ya leave?" he asked angrily.

"Because I shouldn't have been there in the first place," she said. Her accented voice was dark and slow, tired. She turned her face back to the water. She was holding something but he couldn't see her hands.

She looked out to the bay, "I've come here many times, early in the morning, when I feel like the only person in the world. I come where no one's around, none of the men see me or bother me...It makes it easier…but I've never been able to do it before."

"Jack…" Kid Blink warned. He saw it, the thing in her hands, before Jack did.

"What are ya talkin' about," Jack asked, confused and, though he would never admit it, scared. This wasn't like her. Or maybe it was. He couldn't tell what was her and what wasn't anymore.

She turned her head, meeting his eyes. Her face was pale and streaked with tears, her dark hair blowing gently around her face. Jack looked at her hands and saw she was holding a heavy boat chain, what the sailors used to lower the anchors. It was wrapped around her hands and fell to her feet, coiling on the dock. Then he saw the how close her feet were to the edge.

She shook her head, the ghost of a smile playing at the corner of her lips, "After last night, I think I can do it now." She shook her head more as tears pouring down her cheeks, "I can't do this anymore, Jack."

He only stood there, staring at her. She looked tired, so tired.

Then, like becoming another person in a blink of an eye, she glared at him, "Leave, Jack."

"Tha hell I will," he said, his eyes on her hands.

"Whether you leave or stay," she said louder as she turned back to the water, "I'm going to do what I came here to do."

"Talia, come back with us," Mush pleaded. His dark eyes and Kid Blink's were locked on her and her feet, which seemed to inch closer to the edge of the dock.

She shook her head, "I can't. I can't drift from one day to the next, drifting without feeling a thing. I can't…live life like that. Life can't be like this, so numb. I can't take it anymore- the men, the lies, the looks _you_ give me." Her voice thickened with tears and Jack knew she was talking to him. He took a step towards her.

She dropped her head and he could she the heartbreak on her face.

"I feel…ashamed, Jack. I couldn't live with that. I felt _nothing_ before I met you. I could be numb. Now you've made me feel dirtier than they _ever_ did."

Jack took more steps towards her, listening and watching her body, the beads on her dress glinting in the dim morning light.

"I can handle men and their rough, cruel hands. But not yours, Jack," she said breathlessly.

He took another step and she turned around quickly and threw herself over the dock's edge, the chain following her like a snake.

"NO!" Kid Blink shouted. But Jack was already diving after her.

The water was still warm from the summer's heat but it was dark and dirty. Jack kicked as hard as he could, feeling his boots hitting each other. His hands grazed the end of the chain before it fell away quickly. He heard splashes above him and opened his eyes, seeing Talia's dark hair and pale face, her eyes glaring up at him.

She wasn't sinking as fast as she had wanted to and he was able to reach her just as Mush reached her. Together, the three of them pulled her up. She began kicking, trying to break away from their hands. Jack swam behind her, struggling against his own body to stay under with them. He wrapped his arms around her chest and kicked as hard as he could, the guys pulling on her arms.

Their heads broke through the surface, their mouths gapping and gasping for air. Mush swam quickly to the dock and pulled himself up the old wooden ladder a few yards away.

Talia was struggling against Jack, making it hard for him to stay afloat with her. She was still holding the damn chains.

She growled and sobbed, her legs tiring quickly as the dress tangled around her ankles. Kid Blink pried her hands open and forced her to let go. The chains quickly sunk.

Mush reached down and Jack lifted Talia. Mush grabbed her arms and pulled her up. Jack and Kid swam to the ladder and when they were on the dock, they collapsed, trying to catch their breath.

Jack blinked through the water dripping from his hair and looked over, seeing Mush kneeling next to Talia. She was laying on her side, facing away from Jack, her hair tangled around her shoulders and her dress dripping with water.

After a few deep breaths, his lungs stinging, he stood and went to her, standing over her soaked body.

"Get up," he said sharply.

"Jack..." Mush said. But Jack's deadly glare silenced him.

"Do her a favor an' stop goin' easy on her," Jack said. "I said, get up."

Talia turned her face, her hair streaked across her face.

"Go to hell," she said. Her voice was barely above a whisper but it was the cruelest thing he had ever heard. If she had a gun, she might have shot him.

He read her eyes for a long moment, seeing the wounded tiger within her more clearly than before, once so fierce and now too tired to fight for herself. Her beautiful face finally showed him the years, the sleepless nights, the countless bruises and scars, all glowing dimly beneath the surface. There were too many, too many for her to hide anymore. Her icy eyes were dull, like a cold sea. She didn't need to kill herself; she was already dead.

Jack knelt next to her, leaning on his knee, and he dropped his face to hers.

"After you," he said.

She grimaced and quickly lifted her hand to slap him. But he grabbed her wrist and held it while she tugged against him.

"You've _ruined_ me!" she hissed, her Russian voice cracking.

"Good," he said. His face was emotionless but inside he was breathing hard. She could be dead right now. He couldn't think about it.

"I _hate_ you," she said hoarsely.

His lips tugged at the end, threatening to show his smirk: he should have believed her, the way her dark Russian accent wrapped around the threat. But he saw what she meant in her eyes; she would never admit it, but she was glad he was there.

"Good," he said again.

She glared at him. After a long moment of staring into his eyes and her chest heaving, she dropped her hand and stared out to the water.

Mush and Kid Blink looked at each other and Kid flopped back onto the wood, closing his eyes and wiping the water from his face.

"You owe me, Jack," Talia finally said, emotionless.

"I thought we was even," he said, smirking.

She shook her head and sat up, still watching the fog over the bay. "You've made me feel like a human, Jack. And that's the worst thing you could've ever done to me."

"I'll make it up to ya," he said quietly.

"Yes, you will," she said. She looked to Mush and Kid Blink who were straining their ears to hear them.

"Starting today," she said. She met Jack's eyes, "I'll need strong hands to help me move my things."

"Ya mean-" Mush began, his heart leaping. He looked at jack, smiling.

"You're going to find me a new place to stay," Talia said, glaring up at Jack. "Since you won't let me end my torment. And after last night...I can't go back to that hellhole."

She did not smile but there was a new look in her eyes. Whether it was contempt for Jack or a little relief, he couldn't tell.

"And seeing as I can't shake you three," she said as she looked back at Kid Blink. She dropped her eyes, feeling ashamed. "I might as well move a little closer."

Kid Blink smiled a little, his eyes still closed as he lay on the wood. Jack just watched her; she meant what she said but there was still sadness. He thought about what she had said to him, about the looks he gave her, his hands...

"Besides," Talia mused as she stood, wringing the water from her dress. She walked past Jack, Mush and Kid Blink and began making her way down the dock back towards the city. "I'm tired of the smell."


	6. Chapter 6

Jack had never walked through the front door of the brothel before. And it wasn't something he wanted to do again.

In the lobby, two women with their breasts hanging out of their tightly bound corsets greeted him and the older Newsies behind him. The room was filled with cigar and cigarette smoke, men's booming laughter and the clinking of beer mugs.

The women looked to the door and sneered and laughed at Talia, their cackling voices piercing Jack's ears. They laughed at her and her new clothes; David had given her a blouse and a long blue skirt that had belonged to his sister, Sarah. Jack saw by the look on Talia's face that she felt uncomfortable in the clothes. Her breasts were too full for the blouse to close all the way.

Talia glared at the women and they shouted for someone named "Rufus". Kid Blink, David, Mush, Racetrack, Specs, Snoddy, Pie Eater and Jake all glanced at Jack as he stood by the door with his arms crossed, ignoring the girls to his left at the bar, their legs wide open to him, inviting him.

"Well, this is pleasant," Race said, snickering.

"Looks like your kind of place, _Race_," Snoddy said as he shoved his friend.

Race glared at him, biting on his cigar.

"TALIA!" boomed a thick Brooklyn voice.

Jack saw a grizzly man emerge from the crowd of sailors at the smoky bar, approaching Talia with dark lust in his deep-set black eyes. His suit was faded and moth eaten, hanging on his broad thin shoulders. His face was sickly thin, his skin permanently burnt from the sun's rays, and his black hair and beard tangled into one another. He might have been a handsome man had it not been for his sickly appearance and the deranged smile on his thin cracked lips.

"Who's that?" Kid Blink whispered in Jack's ear.

Jack's eyes stayed on the man's sunken face, "I'm guessing tha owna of the joint."

"Tha _owna_?" Racetrack scoffed. "You mean the pimp."

"_What_?" Kid Blink asked, looking at Race.

"Jack," Race said seriously, "He _owns_ _her_. Ya get me?"

Jack looked back at the pimp, his brow furrowed as he watched Talia stand in the middle of the room, all eyes, lustful and hatful alike, on her. The women laughed at her from their seats in the drunken men's laps and the drunken men stared at Talia, hunters poising to pounce.

"I'm jus' sayin', Cowboy," Race said carefully. "This may not be as easy as we thought it'd be."

"My beautiful Russian beauty," the pimp crooned, touching Talia's long dark hair. Her eyes flickered with disgust, clearly smelling the alcohol on his breath, but she did not retreat. She stood tall, staring into his glassy eyes.

"I heard about your night with Rockefeller," he purred. "Shame…I guess I have your friends here to thank for losing me my biggest customer…"

"Save it, Rufus," Talia spat. "I'm here to collect my things."

Rufus laughed and coughed into a white handkerchief. There was blood in it. He whipped out his hand and grasped Talia's arm in a tight hold. The Newsies advanced and stopped behind Talia, seeing the sailors rise from their bar stools.

"You forget, bitch," Rufus wheezed. "You're _mine_. My best girl." He reached out with the hand that was grasping the bloody handkerchief, and ran his fingers down her jaw, neck, and collar bone. His eyes were wild, "You're not going anywhere."

Talia's eyes flared and she yanked her arm away, "Wrong. I became a free woman a week ago. My contract expired."

Rufus' eyes widened and he glared at the newsboys.

"Planning on opening your own little show then?" Rufus cackled.

Kid Blink and Jack advanced quickly towards Rufus but Talia and the other boys retrained them. Rufus laughed and coughed into his handkerchief.

"Go on, _leave_!" Rufus shouted. "You'll be back. You'll come crawling once you realize you can't live without me. You're nothing. _Worthless_!"

"Apparently you didn't think so," Talia hissed.

Rufus glared at her, a wicked smile on his lips, "You may survive, Talia. You've got spit. But you may be the one ta kill yourself in the end. They always do."

Jack stepped around Talia, his eyes staring evenly into Rufus'. They were the same height and Jack glared at him with all the hate in the world.

"Move."

Rufus smirked and stepped aside, gesturing lavishly to the staircase. As Jack led the way to the back of the room, the women sneered and spat at Talia.

"You think you're so much better than us," said an older woman with wrinkles around her mouth, her hands wrapped around a sailor's neck as she leaned her face towards Talia. "But you're still one of us, no matter where you go."

"Nice clothes," one red head cackled, touching Talia's blouse.

Talia raised her hand quickly and the red head pulled away, fear in her eyes.

One girl with dirty blonde hair stepped in front of Jack on the staircase landing, smiling at him with stained teeth. She was younger, maybe sixteen, and her breasts were at Jack's chin.

"You should come with me instead, handsome," she crooned, touching Jack below the belt. Her eyes cut to Talia, "my parts haven't been used by half the city..."

The women cackled and Talia quickly stepped in between Jack and the girl with a wild look in her eyes. Before anyone could react, Talia slapped the girl with the back of her hand. The women in the room exploded with shouting and cursing. Talia turned to them, leaving the blonde moaning on the stair.

"I _dare_ you," she said darkly, her "r" rolling on her tongue like the hiss of a deadly snake. She looked at Rufus' smirking face, "Invest in some new merchandise, Rufus: the _syphilis_ will shut this place down before the bulls do."

The women gasped and began advancing towards Talia with deadly intent. The sailors jumped up from their bar seats and glanced at each other, then at the women. Their smiles quickly faded. Some threw up over the bar. Jack took Talia by the arm and the newsies followed them up the stairs and down the hall.

They all clambered into Talia's room and locked the door.

"Are ya tryin' ta get us killed?" Jack shouted.

Talia laughed darkly, "They're too drunk and sick on drugs to do anything." She flew around the apartment, stuffing clothes into old carpet bags. She went to her dresser and emptied its contents. She poured money out of an old sock and stuffed the bills into her blouse.

"Talia..." Kid Blink began slowly, his expression concerned as he looked at her. "You...you don't have syphilis, do ya?"

Talia stood up straight, staring at the wall. Her expression dropped and she wanted to ignore the sincere concern in Kid's voice.

"No," she said finally. She turned to look at the blonde boy. "That's one thing I've managed _not_ to try."

The boys rolled up her sheets and wrapped her breakable things, like her wash bin and dishes, in them. They left the furniture. They stripped the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom bare and all gathered at the window. Talia looked over the room once, her eyes stopping on the chaise lounge. So many nights and so many men…she had lost count long ago…

"Let's get out of here," she said before stepping out the open window.

They passed her belongings carefully down the fire escape. Talia watched them, laughing when Skittery and Race got into it over the sheets.

"They're breakable, _dumbass_," Race said from the street. "Don' throw 'em."

"Whatta ya talkin' about?!" Skittery shouted. "They're sheets!"

Soon they all gathered on the street, each newsie carrying something. They had nowhere to go; night was quickly falling and the shouts from down stairs were getting closer and louder.

"Where to?" Talia asked as she walked next to Kid Blink and Jack. "I'm homeless now, thanks to you." A clever grin appeared on her lips, the first sign of humor Jack had seen in a while.

"Our place, for the night," Jack said after a moment of thinking. "We'll go lookin' for a place tomorrow."

And so they trudged back to the Newsies Boarding House and stored her things in the attic. Talia stared at her things, all piled in the middle of the gloomy attic. Jack could see the tiredness in her eyes, her eyelids fighting to stay open.

"C'mon," he said, nodding to the door.

She stumbled down the stairs to the second floor. The newsboys were already getting ready for bed: some brushed their teeth, others took off their shirts and pants and crawled straight into bed. Talia didn't notice them; all she could see was the bed at the far end, still unmade and the way she had left it that morning.

She crawled onto the bed, feeling the sheets under her fingers. Jack stared at her, wondering why she was frozen on the bed, staring at the pillow.

"'s matta?"

"These sheets are clean," she mumbled to herself hoarsely.

Jack remembered she had said that the night before, too.

Jack sat on the edge of the bed, glancing at the other boys. But they weren't paying attention; they were already half way to dreamland.

"Talia," Jack said, pulling back the covers, "you're tired. Lay down."

She seemed to be disoriented, in a haze. She sat on the bed, her skirt wrapped around her legs, and she looked up at him, "I'm not tired, cowboy. I'm more than that…" She examined the bed again and her eyebrows knitted together. "Sometimes I forget if I'm sleeping or awake."

She looked at him and he saw the anxiety in her eyes.

"I'm scared, Jack," she said, so quietly Jack wasn't sure he had heard her. Those were the last words he ever expected to hear from her. It sounded strange.

He lifted his hand, then dropped it, hesitant. He lifted it again and laced his fingers in her hair, his hand resting against her neck. He didn't smile but his voice was soft, "I'm here." He seemed uncomfortable but he meant what he said.

She read his eyes for a long moment, still confused, "I've never-" She shook her head and looked away from him, "You make me feel strange."

Jack dropped his hand, "What's that mean?"

She stared at the blankets, "I don't think you want to know."

Jack huffed and sat on the floor next to the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, "Go ta sleep, Talia."

"Sleep in your bed," she said, almost angrily as she laid her head on the flat feather pillow. "I promise not to run away this time." She flashed him a grin but it did not touch her eyes.

Jack looked at her for a moment before standing, leaving her alone in the corner by the window. Though he was drained and longed for sleep, his eyes stayed locked on her through the night, listening to his friends'—his brothers'- even breathing fill the room. The quietness of the room threatened to pull Jack under but he fought the heaviness of his eyelids, staring at the girl, the wounded tiger, in the bed.


	7. Chapter 7

The boys found Talia a place three blocks away from the Boarding House, near the market. They moved her things into her two bedroom apartment, only taking up a small corner, and she bought a wooden framed bed which the boys helped to set up. It was a small place but cozy; wooden floors and a small galley kitchen and a bedroom with a small bathroom with a washtub; Talia had never had a place of her own before.

She found a job as a maid in the Upper East Side, cleaning townhouses for the well-to-do. She didn't like the stiff gray dress and white apron she had to wear and the guys poked fun at her. She eyed them carefully, "Keep laughing, and your next headline will be: 'Crazy Maid Kills Newsies'." They laughed harder.

Slowly but surely, with what she earned, Talia paid the first month's rent and bought used furniture from the market just down the street. She bought new clothes, that actually fit, and proper women's shoes and undergarments, not ones that emphasized her assets. She bought a hair brush and combed her hair every day, liking the way it felt between her fingers, like dark water falling down her back. She also liked to buy fresh flowers. She liked the colors.

Jack and the boys watched with amazement and curiosity the transformation Talia accepted within the first two weeks in her new environment; her eyes were wider and no longer looked at them with a narrowed gaze. Her skin looked healthier and seemed to glow with a fresh clean radiance. She smiled more and laughed, something Jack wasn't quite used to. He enjoyed the sound and he found himself smiling more too. Talia, overall, appeared softer, more approachable.

She seemed like a different person, a happier person. Jack could see it in her eyes, that _this_ was the true form of Talia. It took time for it to come out, trying to escape to the surface, but soon it shined in her gray eyes: the Natalia that longed for life.

The Newsies came in groups to see her after their routes, taking up her small creaky couch and floor space. She greeted them with smiles and offered them fresh foods from the market. There were fresh flowers on the small kitchen table and glass vases lining the windowsill, sunlight gleaming through them and casting patterns on the floor. She enjoyed buying used things from the market; she still had money left over from her time in the brothel. She said she had been saving as much as she could because she never knew when she'd need to run.

She was still healing; only Jack, Mush, and Kid Blink understood. They saw the hurt, the wounds, beneath the surface and she hid it well from the others with one of her many masks. Jack caught her humming more than once and wondered if she did that to distract herself. She always seemed to be moving, never able to stand still. And it wasn't until the third week of living near the Boarding house that Jack realized she didn't like being there alone; when the Newsies came over, she seemed more excited than usual, relieved even. She had bags under her eyes, just barely visible. He asked how she was sleeping and she ignored it by asking a different question.

But she carried on and each day she seemed to get stronger. But Jack would see a tiny glint in her eyes, a gleam of fear and panic. He could see the wheels in her mind turning, planning, and it made him stay on edge. As the third week turned into the fourth week, a month and half, two months, the panic slowly grew and touched her other features; he could see it in her face as the days passed on and he and the others would exchange glances, knowing she couldn't fool them forever. She became distant and jumpy and soon she didn't even look Jack in the eye.

And it wasn't until August that they discovered what was wrong.

Jack, Racetrack, David, Mush and Kid Blink arrived at her door on a Tuesday afternoon, wanting to take her to dinner at Tibby's, their favorite joint. They knocked and heard a strange sound from inside the apartment: a bottle breaking.

Jack stared at the door, "Talia?"

Jack turned the knob and opened the door, seeing a shattered bottle on the wooden floor. Jack looked up and saw her; she was standing above the mess, her left palm touching her forehead. The hem of her skirt was damp from the liquid that now pooled on the floor. Her eyes were dark and her cheeks were rosy. She had been drinking.

"Go away," she mumbled, lowering to her knees to collect the broken glass.

"'s matta?" Jack demanded.

She looked up, her hair falling off her shoulders, and she saw them standing in the door way, looking at her and the messy apartment. She looked down, dropping her head.

"Please, leave."

The boys looked at each other and Kid Blink went to help her, looking at Jack nervously; none of them understood why she was acting like this. But they knew something had not been right...

Jack's dark eyes glanced back to her bed room and saw the bed was unmade and there were clothes on the ground. He noticed her clothes; her shirt was unbuttoned, revealing her undershirt and collar bone which was covered in a light sheen of sweat.

Talia stood and wobbled, wincing and touching her head again.

"Wanted ta see if you wanted to go to dinner," Mush said quietly, taking her by the elbow to help steady her.

She looked at Mush, studying him for a minute. She looked confused, as if she didn't recognize him. Then she looked at Racetrack, "what day is it?"

Race's eyebrows knitted together, "Where have ya been? It's Tuesday. July 21, 1900 if ya want the whole date."

"She's been drinkin'," Jack said evenly. "That's where she's been."

She glared at Jack, her body slumping, "Who are you to judge me… _cowboy_?"

Jack said nothing, only stared at her tired eyes.

She strode over to him slowly, smirking at him. His heart thumped heavily in his chest: he knew that look in her eyes. She used to look at her "customers" that way. She had never looked at him that way before...

She stopped in front of him and lightly touched the red bandana tied around his neck, looking up at him through her thick eyelashes. This wasn't Talia. He was looking into the eyes of the seductress, the part of her that she wasn't ready to let go of. He wasn't happy to see her.

"You could stay and drink with me," she purred softly. Her lips were less than an inch from his, "If you'd like..."

His jaw clenched tight.

She studied Jack's expression and her smile quickly faded. The seductress left.

She looked at Mush over her shoulder. Jack could see sadness in her eyes.

"Thanks, Mush," she said huskily. "…But I can't tonight."

Mush stared at her, his eyes reading hers. It seemed like she was trying to tell him something, asking for help almost…

"C'mon fellas," Jack said after a moment. "Let's get outta here."

"But Jack-" Kid Blink began.

"She doesn't want us here," Jack answered. He looked at Talia, "Let us know when ya want to sober up."

Kid Blink finished cleaning the glass, all of them standing around awkwardly as he threw away the shards, and they left her standing in the middle of her apartment to deal with her headache.

At Tibby's, Jack was in a foul mood. He only ordered a soda and he mostly stared at it, his eyes dark. The others tried their best to distract him as they woofed down their food.

"Anotha race tomorra," Racetrack said, lifting his eyebrows and smiling cleverly. "'s gonna be a golden one too."

"Man, I don't see why ya keep bettin'," Mush said, looking at his friend. "Ya always _lose_."

"If I stop bettin', then I _will_ lose, see what I'm sayin'?"

"No," Mush said incredulously.

Jack stared at his sweating glass, twirling it around on the checkered table cloth.

"Jack," Kid Blink said gently, leaning towards him over the table, "You're worryin'."

"Who said I was worried," Jack said in a sinister way as he took a drink.

"Well, I am," Kid Blink declared. "And I'm goin' to check on her before goin' to tha Boardin' House, whether you go with me or not."

"Yeah, Jack," Mush chimed in, "I am too. I think she's pretty sick…I don't think we knew how hard this was gonna be for her, ya know?"

"She's a tough one, I'll give her that," Race said as he took a bite of his burger. "But she's out of her element now; she's a lost puppy."

David shook his head, his eyes thoughtful, "No. I think she doesn't want to face reality. She's on her own now. She doesn't know how to be on her own…."

Jack remembered the look in her eyes the night she had moved out of the brothel, when she was sitting on her cot, staring at him.

"_I'm scared, Jack." _

Jack squeezed his eyes shut and ran his fingers through his hair, huffing angrily. He couldn't get her face out of his mind.

"Damn it," he said forcefully, standing from the table. He threw some coins next to his plate and began walking out the door. The others quickly followed suit.

The streets were dark now, the lamps were being lit, and people were returning to their homes after a long day's work. The summer heat lessened but the night was sticky and humid. The boys approached Talia's building and Jack saw a sight he was anticipating but still clenched his fists when he saw it: two men leaving, tucking in their shirts.

Jack froze on the street and he felt his breathing shorten and his muscles tense. The others saw the men too and they looked at Jack's pale face, his jaw clenched tight.

"Aw, man," Mush groaned. "Not again..."

"Jack…" David warned. "You don't know that-"

"The hell I don't," he said angrily as he strode to the front door, ripping it open. The boys ran after him, calling his name.

"Don't do anything stupid!" Race shouted up the stairs as they bounded after their friend.

Jack reached Talia's door on the third floor and banged his fist on the wood, making it shake against the doorframe.

"Go away," he heard her say directly on the other side.

"Open tha damn door," he said.

"No."

Jack took a step back and his friends watched as he lifted his foot. Before they could stop him, he kicked the door in once, twice, three times and the door swung open and banged against the wall inside loudly.

"JACK!" Kid Blink yelled but Jack was staring at Talia who was across the room, bent over her couch, clutching her stomach. She was dressed only in a robe and slip and her hair was knotted.

She looked at him with dark hatred, "I said, go AWAY!"

She picked up a glass from the wooden table behind her and threw it as hard as she could. It hit the wall next to the door and shattered.

"WHAT THA HELL IS THA MATTA WITH YOU?!" Jack yelled, his voice booming.

The boys rushed into the apartment and closed the apartment door, afraid that the neighbors would calls the bulls. But the door didn't close all the way; Jack had broken the knob.

"I said get _out_!" Talia shouted.

Jack stared at her, his blood boiling under his skin. He thought she had changed, thought he would never see a man leave her room ever again, let alone two. Fury didn't come close to what he was feeling.

Her cheeks were wet with tears and her eyes were red. She had been drinking again.

"How long?" he demanded.

"GET OUT!"

"How long have ya been sleepin' around and lyin' to us?!"

"Why do you _care_!" she threw the nearly empty bottle of whiskey that she had been holding in her other hand. It hit the corner across the room and whiskey and shards of glass sprayed the wall. The boys jumped back, on edge and ready to run from the apartment. They moved around the couch, out of the line of fire, towards the window.

"Talia-" Kid Blink began but stopped when she ran to the kitchen, opening the cabinets.

She threw a plate at Jack. He ducked and looked at her with wild disbelief.

"Would ya cut it out?!" he shouted, not caring who heard him.

"It's all _your_ fault!" she screeched.

Jack ducked again as a plate went flying over his head, breaking on the floor.

"_My_ fault?! What tha hell are ya talkin' about?!"

"You _ruined_ _me_!" She screamed, tears pouring down her face.

"Ya did that to ya self!" he shouted back. Another plate flew at him, this time hitting Race in the ankle.

"GAH!" Race yelled, bouncing up and down on his other foot. "Damn...good aim," he mumbled.

Jack looked back at Race and then back to the wild look on Talia's face.

"I'd be in the bottom of the bay right now if it hadn't been for _you_!" Her accented voice pierced their ears; they had never seen her so violent before.

All Jack could do was stare at her and watch the tears roll down her face.

"I had a plan! And you ruined it!" She sobbed, throwing a vase but with less force. It landed behind the couch, thudding and rolling across the floor. "I never wanted this…" she sobbed harder, reaching blindly into the cabinet for anything to throw. "What do I do now? Tell me, _Jack_ _Kelly_!" she spat, throwing another plate.

Jack took his chance between throws and dashed at her, throwing his arms around her. With his arms locked around her tightly, he pulled her from the small kitchen, her legs kicking, and threw her up against the wall. The boys shouted at him to take it easy but he looked at them and they stopped in their tracks, not wanting to cross him too. They looked at each other, not knowing what to do or who to save from injury first: Jack or Talia.

Jack looked down at the girl between him and the wall and tried to slow his breathing. She struggled against him, her eyes wild.

"Calm down!"

"Go to _hell_!" her Russian voice hissed.

"Fine!" he shouted in her face. "I will! And you can fuck all the men ya want for all I care!"

"JACK!" Kid Blink shouted. But David placed a hand on his chest to stop him, watching Jack intently. Kid Blink looked at David, shocked, and David nodded towards Jack. They all watched, wondering what David was seeing that they couldn't.

"Why do you _care_!" she screamed back. She looked at the others, "Why do any of you _care_?! I'm not good like you! I can't do what you want me to do! I can't be good, it's not who I am! Just let me _be_! It's _my_ life!"

"_And I'm in it_!" Jack shouted.

Talia stopped and her eyes stared into Jack's, suddenly lost for words. The boys watched Jack anxiously, anticipating the thing they'd been waiting to happen for a while: Jack's honesty.

"Ya think it's all about _you_, don't ya?" He said, gripping her arms tighter, shaking her. "Eva since I met ya, I've been there, waitin' for ya to leave that place and want betta for yourself. You—ya can have anythin' ya want! We can't!" he motioned to the newsies across the room, watching them silently. "I thought ya'd changed!"

"Old habits die hard," she purred viciously in his face, remorse nowhere to be seen in her eyes.

Jack lost it; all he could see was red.

"Ya want ta be treated like a whore?" he asked darkly. "Then I'll treat ya like one."

David and Racetrack had to use all their strength to hold back Mush and Kid Blink as Jack pushed Talia against the wall, her head snapping against the panels. His hands gripped her waist as he pulled her into him, crushing her. His pelvis pressed into her lower abdomen and though she didn't show it, a sting went through her, still fresh from an hour ago. She had bruises on her back and they throbbed.

Jack panted in her ear, breathing into her hair, and she lifted her face to the ceiling. She could feel him, all of him, and she wanted to cry. But she didn't. She was too experienced to break like that. Especially for Jack.

When she didn't respond, he pulled back and studied her face: she showed no sign of pain, no sorrow, no anger. She went numb. But he saw something clear as day, there in her eyes as she looked at him, something he had always seen but never recognized before now.

"That," Jack said as he pointed to her face, breathing hard. "_That_ is not hatred for _me_."

He let her go and stepped back, still staring at her.

Fresh tears formed in her eyes at his cruel words. But she knew he was right. And she _hated_ him for it.

The newsies across the room looked at her, seeing the self loathing now in her eyes, something she had concealed well before. Their hearts suddenly felt heavy.

"As long as ya hate yourself," Jack said, his voice gentle, "You'll neva been more than the money men throw at ya."

She shook her head, tears spilling over her cheeks, and her voice came out strangled, tired and weak, "Why do you _care_?"

He growled, literally _growled_, and quickly advanced towards her again. "You are tha _stupidest_ girl I've eva met!"

He gripped her arms tightly and pulled her to him, crushing his lips to hers. He kissed her. Hard.

The boys on the other side of the room froze, their mouths falling open.

Talia's body went limp and Jack was the only thing holding her up. She didn't fight him but she felt her heart breaking.

Jack kissed her for what felt like hours. But within a minute, he broke away from her, panting through his parted lips as he looked at her.

She looked at him with such sorrow and despair; there were so many feelings playing across her face and he couldn't tell what they were. But she wasn't numb anymore.

"And I'd do it all ova again," he said gently but firmly, still trying to catch his breath, "I'd put up with your stubbornness and your dumb mistakes if it meant havin' ya here for one more day instead of in tha bottom of that bay."

She dropped her gaze but he lifted her chin, holding her face firmly.

"End it," he said, his eyes staring intensely into hers. "No more lettin' othas use ya. No more foolin' yourself. Ya hear me?"

She shook her head and leaned back against the wall, pity shinning in her eyes as she looked at him.

"You're a fool, Jack."

He stared at her, his dark eyes glinting, "'s what they tell me."

The others across the room stayed silent for a long moment, staring at Talia and Jack, who were staring at each other. Then, Racetrack extended his hand to Mush who was still too stunned to speak.

"You owe me two bits," said Race.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack and the others cleaned Talia's room. Every glass shard was removed and every liquor bottle (there was more than one) was thrown out.

"No more drinkin'." Jack said, practically yelling at her.

But she didn't respond. She sat on her bed with a shawl around her shoulders, staring out the open window. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning and she had told them to go home and get some sleep but they refused to leave with glass all over her place, even if it wasn't their fault.

"Wouldn't want ya ta get hurt," Race said with his cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "Like me. Nice aim, by the way."

She still said nothing. While the boys cleaned, she and Jack glanced at each other, both looking away quickly. Kid Blink and Mush gave Jack knowing smiles, lifting their eyebrows, nudging him. He only had to look at them once and their facial expressions would drop and they'd get back to work on sopping up the whiskey.

Talia's eyes were tired but she was far from sleeping. Too many thoughts were running through her mind, too many words yelling at her.

When the apartment was clean, the boys looked to Jack. He glanced into the bedroom at Talia's still form and looked back to his friends, huffing.

"Stay, Jack," David said softly. "She needs you."

"I think I'm tha last person she wants around right now," he said as he looked down at his hands, fiddling with a piece of glass.

"Trust me, Jack," David said with a reassuring smile. "Stay."

"Someone needs ta stay," Racetrack declared as he pointed to the door, "Because some jackass decided it'd be a good idea to bust in the door."

Jack sighed and the others sniggered.

"A'right," Jack sighed.

"Alright, Cowboy."

The boys clapped their friend on the shoulder and he watched them as they bounced down the stairs and left the building. He closed the door as much as it would and leaned his head on it, closing his eyes. Well, this was a situation…

He pushed his fingers through his hair and looked into the bedroom, seeing Talia still sitting there. He shuffled into the room and leaned against the doorframe.

He looked down at his hands again, "The othas left. I told them I'd stay because the door's broken…hope tha's a'right with ya."

She turned her head slightly, her eyes blank, "it's alright."

Jack pushed off of the doorframe and moved in front of her, kneeling so he could see her face. Her eyes were still red.

"Would ya look at me?"

"You have no idea what you've done," she said clearly.

He stared up at her, thinking.

"I know. But I meant what I said."

"I'm just going to hurt you, Jack."

"I've been hurt lots of times."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

She looked up, meeting his eyes. She was frustrated but she saw the sincerity in his expression, the softness. Tears rolled down her face.

"I can't give you what you're looking for."

"Who says I'm looking for something?"

"Would you stop talking in riddles and hear what I am trying to tell you? I don't _want_ you!" She rose from the bed quickly and moved closer to the window, her arms crossed over her stomach.

That one got to him. He knew he wasn't the best with words or girls but Jesus...

Jack stared up at her for a long moment before standing up, standing close behind her. He put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head to the side, so close to her that he could smell her hair; he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this close to her. Except for when he pushed her up against the wall a few hours ago…he tried not to think about it.

She turned around to look at him. Their faces were inches apart and they could feel each other's breath on their cheeks. She read the dark eyes that stared back at her.

"What do you expect to happen now?" she asked gently. "Love? Affection? I can't promise any of those things, Jack."

"I'm not askin' for those things," he said quietly. Then he laughed once, his eyes lighting up, "I don't even know you're last name!"

"Then what do you _want_!" she asked. Her voice cracked and Jack could hear the stress and emotions raging within her. She looked tired.

"You," he said simply, reading her eyes before looking away. Uncomfortable was an understatement at the moment. What the hell was he doing?

He shuffled his feet around, doing anything to keep from being still and looking at her. But he glanced up at her from under his heavy brow, seeming to ask for her permission.

"Well," she said hoarsely, "Here I am, Cowboy."

His heart was racing and he knew how horrible he was at this. But it was all he had. He turned away to go back into the living room.

For another hour, Jack cleaned the apartment more (and looked for alcohol bottles). Talia made him soup, something she had fixed the previous night. He ate in silence and Talia drank water, leaning against the stove and watching him with an unreadable expression. When she couldn't hold her eyes open any longer, she went into the bedroom.

"We can share the bed," she said over her shoulder.

"No."

She looked back at him, questioning him with her eyes.

He shook his head as he chewed a piece of potato. "I ain't sleepin' on that bed. An' neither are you."

She huffed, falling back to lean against the doorframe. "Last time, you didn't mind sleeping on a whore's bed."

He shot her a dark look.

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. There are we going to sleep?"

He glanced at the couch across the room, "You take the couch, I'll take the floor."

They gathered every blanket and pillow they could find. Talia had collected them from the market; she knew there would be nights the Newsies would need to stay at her place. They were always on the run from someone, it seemed.

Jack made a makeshift bed on the floor and Talia curled up on her side on the creaky couch, wincing as she tried to get comfortable.

Jack looked at her as he turned off the gas lamp, noticing her pained expression.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine…just a little sore…from earlier." She saw the dark look in his eyes as he remembered. "Don't worry about it," she mumbled.

Jack removed his vest, bandana, shirt and socks, letting his suspenders hang at his sides. He lay on the floor with his hands behind his neck, looking up at the ceiling.

"You didn't have to stay," she whispered, her Russian voice soft. Her eyes trailed over his bare chest...she looked away.

"I know," he said, huffing air out his nose. "I broke your door. 's tha least I could do."

"That's not why you stayed."

He turned his face towards her, seeing her eyes glinting from the moonlight coming in from the window. She was looking at him differently; there wasn't anger or darkness in her eyes. Though there wasn't much emotion anyway: she was drained. But her face was softer. He could see she felt safe. The way she always felt around him. Her dark hair was draped over her shoulder and the curves of her body fell gracefully up and down under the cotton blanket.

He looked back to the ceiling. It felt different now. She knew his thoughts now….knew that he thought of her. There was no way to hide it or take it back now. But there was a strange kind of openness; a wall was gone that had been there before, a wall that had kept her from looking in. Now she could see everything. He didn't like it. But at the same time…

Damn it, it was a good kiss.

He heard her inhale quickly, gasping. He turned, lifting up on his elbows.

"'s matta?"

"Nothing," she gasped. She was clutching her stomach.

He felt his anger stir but he ignored it as he got up to get her a glass of water.

"Drink it," he said, holding it above her.

She obeyed and she leaned gingerly against the pillows, breathing slowly. He crouched next to her, looking from her face to her hands over her stomach. Then a thought popped into his head…

"Are ya pregnant?" he asked tightly.

"No," she shot back. Her eyes burned into his and then slowly softened.

He didn't know why she was looking at him like he had just slapped her…

"Ya sure?"

"Positive," she said blankly, looking away, far away.

There was silence and Talia could practically hear his thoughts…She knew he would ask.

She looked back at him and he was staring at his hands, his fingers playing with the edge of her blanket. She didn't want him to think about it, but she knew he was.

"So... how do ya keep from gettin'-" he scratched the back of his head, his hair falling over his eyes. He swept it back with his fingers, looking uncomfortable.

She knew what he was asking. It was the question she didn't want him to ask. But out of everyone that could've asked her, she was almost glad it was Jack.

"You don't want to know," she whispered.

It was enough of an answer; she didn't need to say more. He looked away, his eyes dark.

He looked back to her and saw the fresh tears in her eyes, heartbroken.

"Have ya eva been pregnant?"

She looked away, closing her eyes. Tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks. "Yes."

"How many?" he asked gently.

"Four." Her lips formed around the word carefully, like a delicate secret.

He stared at her, surprised. He tried to imagine…

"The first time...I was so scared. I was only fourteen. The girls told me to go to a man in Queens. He wasn't a doctor but he was able to do it..."

"Ya could've killed yourself."

"I almost did," she said with a sad smile. He regarded her for a moment, unable to comprehend.

"But I had no choice." Her voice pitched as if she were pleading to him, asking for forgiveness. He wondered how many secrets she had...not that it mattered to him.

"Two were boys," she said to herself, smiling sadly. "The others I didn't know. It hurt more to know. One...I think was Garrison's..."

Jack's entire body tightened. He felt his skin grow hot and he wished she hadn't said that.

"But now…" She touched her stomach and closed her eyes tightly. "I can't."

"Eva?" he asked quietly.

Tears dropped onto her lap and her face twisted sadly. She covered her face with her hands.

Jack stared at her for a long moment, listening to her breathe. He couldn't pity her. He wouldn't.

But he reached out to her, brushing her hair back over her shoulder.

She stayed still for a long time. But soon she slumped over on the pillows and closed her tired eyes. Jack watched her for what felt like two hours, watching as her breathing deepened. He didn't think about anything that she had said or what had happened hours ago. He only watched her.

He lay on his back under his blanket, his chest exposed to the air. Soon his eyes closed too and his mind raced with strange images and colors. They were indiscernible and probably for the best. He didn't want to dream about anything.

But soon after he fell asleep, he felt something move next to him. It was a light movement but it pulled him from his strange dream. He turned over and felt her next to him, lying on her side, facing away from him.

…..

The next morning, Jack woke to the bright sunlight. He stretched, feeling his back pop and his muscles strain. He looked over his shoulder and saw Talia sleeping on her stomach with her face buried in her folded arms and tangled hair. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face, tossing away the blanket. The sunlight bathed his chest and he stretched his arms and shook his hair. He wanted to meet up with the guys.

He looked back down at Talia and wondered if he should wake her. Instead, he lifted her and placed her back on the couch. He didn't think she'd be waking any time soon.

He dressed and bounded down the stairs and into the morning street, dust clouds rising up behind horse drawn carriages. He arrived at the Newsboys' Lodging House and took the stairs three at a time up to the boys' bunkroom. When he entered the door, everyone looked towards him, about thirty dirty faces, and they smiled and crooned at him, teasing.

Jack made a face at them, rolling his eyes. He even playfully punched a few passing boys in the arm.

"About damn time, Cowboy," Pie Eater smirked. "Bet she got tired of waitin'."

Jack shoved him and he laughed.

He went to Kid Blink, Mush, Race and David who were all laid out on Boots' bunk, laughing and teasing David about his hair.

"What's wrong with my hair?" David asked innocently, rubbing his fingers over the brown waves.

"Nothin'," Mush snickered.

Kid Blink muffled his laugh into Race's shoulder.

"Just looks like brown noodles," Mush said before erupting with snorts and laughter.

Kid Blink's laugh filled the room and Race clapped, laughing so hard that no sound came out.

"It does not!" David whined.

"Sure, whateva you say," Mush said.

"'ey, Jack," Kid Blink said after catching his breath. Jack leaned against the bed post, looking at his friends with an incredulous face.

"Ya done bein' stupid?" Jack asked as he took a seat. The boys laughed but when Jack rubbed his face with his hand, Kid Blink saw the stress under his dark eyes.

"How's she doin'?" he asked gently.

Jack shrugged, "she's a'right. Still pretty sick. 's just gonna take some time, ya know?"

"Maybe someone could help her," David said.

Jack met David's eyes, "no docs."

"No, no that's not what I meant," David defended. "I was thinking another woman could help her."

Racetrack raised his eyebrows, "What 'woman' do _you_ know?"

"Medda," David said with a clever grin. Everyone stared at him, all humor gone.

"_Medda_?" Race asked.

David met Jack's curious gaze, "Just think about it: Medda could give her a job, a _real_ job... She could _dance_ at Irving Hall."

The boys thought for a moment and Jack began nodding his head, the wheels in his mind turning.

"'s not bad, Dave."

David beamed.

"You an' me, we'll talk ta Medda after we sell our papes," Jack said.

They all agreed and along with the other Newsies, they flooded the stair case, all leaping and bounding into the street to the Pape Docks.

Jack was greeted by many faces he hadn't seen in weeks; his fellow Newsies clapped him on the back and shouted, "'ey, Cowboy, how's it goin'?" "Missed ya, Cowboy!" There were at least fifty, all crowding the street to get their papers, all laughing and smiling; despite their circumstances, they were always in high spirits.

Jack went to the front of the newsboy throng and waited at the closed gates with the others. He actually smiled and cracked jokes with them, making them roar.

"We've missed ya, Jack," Boots said in a slightly serious tone.

Jack rolled his eyes, pushing Boots' hat over his eyes.

"Don't get all sentamental on me."

The gates creaked open and Jack was about to stride in when he saw the Delancy Brothers standing on the other side, smiling at him.

He glared and the other Newsies gathered around him, telling him to ignore them.

"'s not worth it, Jack," Kid said into his ear.

"Let's just get our papes and go," David said.

"What's new, Kelly?" Oscar asked with a sickly grin. "How's your stomach?"

Jack didn't answer; his wound had been healing but still hurt from time to time. He glared at Oscar.

"Ya know," Oscar began. "I've been seein' ya with that Russian whore lately…"

Kid Blink and Mush tensed and everyone else watched Jack, seeing his back muscles harden. Jack had forgotten that the Delancy Brothers had been to the brothel...

"I don't blame ya," Oscar continued, stepping closer but staying far enough away so Jack couldn't reach him.

Oscar's lips curled and his eyelids drooped as if he were remembering something.

"She's a _screama_," he hissed.

"Oh, dear God," David muttered, looking to Jack.

But it was too late.

Jack didn't know what happened, couldn't remember how he'd gotten Oscar to the ground and sat on top of him, beating his face in, pounding his head against the ground. Noise erupted from everywhere and every Newsie was shouting and trying to get at Oscar's brother, Morris, to hold him back. They wanted to see Jack soak Oscar.

Jack saw red, he felt on fire, and he wanted to beat Oscar 'til he was dead. He nearly did if it hadn't been for Kid and Boots that pulled him up. Jack struggled against them and soon David and Mush jumped in front of him, trying to calm him down. He saw their lips moving but he didn't hear anything. His ears were ringing.

Racetrack stepped in front of Jack. Morris was released from the crowd of Newsies and he went to his brother's side to pick him up. Every Newsie was shouting at them, creating an impenetrable wall of sound.

"Jack!" Race shouted, taking his friend by the shoulders. Jack's eyes were wild. "He's a lyin' son of a bitch, Cowboy, don' listen ta him!"

"You're a real piece of shit, Oscar!" Mush shouted as he held onto Jack's arm.

"The hell I am," Oscar shouted, holding his jaw. "Her mouth practically hung open for me."

There was a disapproving groan from the newsies and Jack jerked against his friends' hold. But they held onto him; the last thing he needed on his record was murder.

Oscar laughed, "And I gave her _all_ of me...and she _took_ it."

"Ya no good rotten scabba," Race shouted. "I knows for a fact ya neva had her."

"Who's ta say I didn'?" Oscar said as loud as he could through his busted mouth. He smirked at Jack, "She really is tha best, _Cowboy_." He laughed at the look on Jack's face.

"Yeah an' so's your defective equipment," Race shouted back.

There was a pause and suddenly everyone except the Delancy's were rolling with laughter. Jack looked at Race questioningly and Race shrugged his shoulders.

"Talia told me," Race said with a clever grin.

Morris fought to pull Oscar back to the dock and the newsies poured in through the gates, now laughing and shouting at Oscar and Morris.

Jack straightened his shoulders and sniffed, trying to shake the anger. He looked at Race, "did she really tell ya that, Race?"

Racetrack lit his cigar and looked up to Jack and the others who were waiting for his reply.

"Yeah," he said at last. "He come in ta tha brothel a few weeks before they ambushed us. She says Oscar came ta her room and when it was time ta do tha deed…" Race held up his index finger and bent it. The boys laughed and Jack shook his head.

"Figures," Kid Blink laughed, putting his arm around Jack. "She's too good for 'im, right Jack?"

Jack huffed and looked at his best friend, grinning a little. "Yeah."

The boys clapped Jack on the back and they made their way to Weasel at the front desk to buy their papes.

The day passed slowly and the sun seemed to beat down on them more and more as each hour crept by. Their fingers turned gray from the news ink and their arms grew tired every time they lifted the banner. Even though Jack had skipped out on a few days here and there to help Talia, he was more than used to it. So used to it, he didn't even try to yell anymore; he just had to say that one line in that woman's ear to make her turn or to make that man pull out a dime. He knew how to sell them better than anyone.

He thought about Talia.. He guessed, in a way, she knew how to sell too.

When five o'clock was upon them, the boys fought hard to sell the last of their papes and met up at Irving Hall. When Jack turned the corner, he saw Mush, Kid Blink, Racetrack and David sitting on the front steps, waiting for him. They went around to the back door and Jack knocked on the cold metal. A poster of Medda, a beautiful red headed woman, smiled at him. He smiled to himself; he missed seeing Medda. If anyone could help Talia, it would be her.

A man with dark hair and clown makeup opened the creaky door. He looked at Jack and squinted.

"'s that you, Kelly?"

"'ey, Toby," Jack said with a nod. "Medda here?"

"Just got off stage," Toby said, opening the door wider. The Newsies filed into the cool backstage area and they waited at the base of a wooden staircase. Applause and cheers flowed in from upstairs and a band was playing. Jack heard footsteps above and looked up to see Medda dressed in a green frilly silk dress at the top of the stairs, peering down into the darkness. Her curly red hair framed her pale face and her red lips smiled as she recognized the boys.

"Jack Kelly," she said fondly as she saw his sweet smiling face. She descended the stairs and Jack took her hand, guiding her down.

"How's it goin', Medda?" Race asked with a charming grin. He kissed her hand and she waved her hand at them, smiling.

"You boys sure know how to treat a lady."

"We came ta ask ya somethin'," Jack said seriously.

Medda lifted her eyebrows, "I see. This way gentlemen."

They followed her to a door under the stairs that was concealed behind a velvet curtain. Inside the room there was a large desk with a high backed chair and a long velvet couch. There were posters covering the walls, all from different shows, and a piano was against the back wall, lit by a red oil lamp.

Medda sat on the desk, crossing her legs, and motioned the boys to sit on the couch. All five of them fit snuggly with room to spare.

"So," she began, smiling at them and wrinkling her nose when she looked at Jack. "What can I do for the Newsies today?"

The boys looked to David.

"Well…" he began, looking at Jack for guidance. "There's this girl…"

Medda raised her eyebrows, "Oh, why David! You scoundrel. I like it."

The boys snickered, except for Jack.

"No!" David exclaimed. "No, it's-" He looked at Jack.

Jack shot him a look but David didn't have to say; Medda saw Jack's expression.

"Oh," she said, a slow smile spreading over her lips. "Well, well...she must be quite special to catch _this_ one's eye…"

"She's sick, Medda," Jack said, meeting her blue eyes, all traces of a smile gone. "Real sick. An' David and us thought you might be able ta help her."

She nodded knowingly, "How sick we talkin'?"

"Messed up," Jack said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "In tha head...She needs somethin', ya know? Somethin' ta keep her busy."

"And what can she do for me? How can I help her?"

"She's a dancer," David answered quickly. "And…well, she hasn't had it easy."

They explained Talia's situation and told her story. All the while, as David talked, Medda only listened, her expression intrigued, never disgusted. And while Jack's muscles clenched at some parts in the story, Medda never faltered. Jack admired that about her, her willingness to never judge. David was right to ask her for help.

But Medda was watching Jack as David told Talia's story. She noticed the way his eyes flashed when David said her name and the way he squirmed in his seat, restless, when Rockefeller was mentioned. She saw it, there on his face as clear as day. This girl, whoever she was, excited him and scared him at the same time.

"And…she needs something good in her life. And I think dancing would help her."

Medda nodded, "Is she any good?"

"Well, I've never seen her dance…" David trailed off and Medda smiled at him but her eyes glinted like a business woman looking for new stock.

"Bring her in," she said, hopping off the desk. "Tonight. I want to see what she's got. And if she's good, I'll hire a teacher and she'll have her own bit in the show. And she can have the apartment next to mine up stairs, free stay. But on two conditions: she'll have to stay clean, no alcohol or nothin', and you boys will come around more often."

She winked at them, enjoying their surprised faces.

"Wait 'til she hears this, right Jack?" Kid Blink asked enthusiastically. "It'll be the best thing for her, Jack."

"Free stay?" Mush asked, smiling.

"So," Race began, smirking, "I's can dance too ya know, Medda."

Medda laughed.

As the Newsies were preparing to leave, Medda caught Jack at the back door to the theater. The boys went outside, the streets just beginning to get dark, and Medda crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe, smiling at Jack who avoided her eyes.

"She must be pretty special, Jack," she said sweetly. "And if she's important to you, she's important to me."

"She's just a friend," he said indifferently. But even the words sounded strange to him.

She shook her head, sighing, "Keep tellin' yourself that."

She kissed Jack on the cheek and pushed him lovingly out the door. The boys tipped their caps to her.

"See you boys later," Medda said with a wink.

The boys were all smiles and laughter on the way back to the Lodging House, too excited to stay still.

"This is it, man," Kid Blink said with a wide grin, putting his arm around Mush and David's shoulders. "What a break for Talia."

"Let's hope she's good," Race said. "For her sake."


	9. Chapter 9

Jack split from the guys and they knew he would be going to Talia's to tell her the news. They parted on the Lodging House stoop and Jack told them to tell everyone to be at the theater in two hours. He ran the three blocks to Talia's, eager to tell her. And also nervous; she hadn't danced in years…and even though Medda was overly kind, she was still a tough broad to crack when it came to her theater. Maybe Jack could convince her to still help Talia if things went south.

He bounded up the stairs to Talia's apartment and when he reached her door, it opened when he barely touched it. He forgot he had broken the knob. He walked in and couldn't see a thing: it was pitch black inside. He took out a booklet of matches and struck one to light the lamp on the dining room table, filling the room in a soft golden glow. He looked around until his eyes rested on her sleeping figure, still on the couch.

He went to her side and kneeled next to the couch, his face level with hers. She looked so peaceful, her lips slightly parted. She looked worry-free and Jack hesitated to wake her.

But he lightly shook her arm, "'ey."

She stirred and he waited as she slowly came to, her eyes heavy from the hours of sleep.

She looked at him, her eyes fighting to adjust, "Jack…?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"What-What time is it?"

"'s almost seven. Ya sleep tha whole day?"

"I guess I did." Her voice was thick with sleep and she moved slowly to sit up. She rubbed her eyes and looked at him.

She smirked "I told you it's been a while since I'd slept."

"No kiddin'," he said lightly. "But listen, I got something ta tell ya."

She looked at him carefully but he held his hands up.

"Jus' hear me out, a'right?"

She waited and he breathed in deeply, his chest expanding. "There's a friend of mine who owns a theater, Irving Hall, and she wants ta meet you."

Talia stared at Jack for a long time and he could see the skepticism growing inside her head.

"What for?" she asked carefully, her eyes narrowing.

"I think she can help ya," Jack said gently, his dark eyes glinting softly as he looked at her, noticing her thin cheeks. "She can give ya a place ta stays for free, in the apartment above the theater. Ya won' hafta pay a dime."

Talia's eyes flickered between Jack's and her eyebrows knitted, even more confused.

"Why does she want to help me?" she asked quietly. "What's the hook?" she asked louder, her Russian accent coating her words darkly.

Jack looked her in the eye, "all ya gotta do is dance for her. Tha's it."

Her face fell.

Jack glanced down at his hands, "She's a friend of my father's. She's good people."

"I don't dance anymore, Cowboy," she said emotionlessly.

"Then you'll stay a maid, cleanin' other people's mess and livin' in this place with a broken door and no food."

Her cheeks reddened; she hadn't bought food in days.

"She'll even hire a dance teacher for ya."

"I haven't danced in years. I don't know if I even remember how…" she sounded unsure and Jack didn't like the nervous look in her eyes.

"Don' doubt yourself," he said as he stood. He held his hand out to her and she regarded him for a minute.

"C'mon," he said. "What the hell have ya got ta lose?"

He thought she wouldn't get up, that she'd stay on the couch defiantly and tell him to leave. But slowly, she pulled back the covers and took his hand. He pulled her up and watched her as she slowly put her shoes on. Her eyes were jaded; she didn't trust him fully, but he didn't care at the moment.

They made their way to the theater; the night air was warm and clouds moved over the sky slowly from the east. Talia had passed Irving Hall many times, reading each new poster they hung in the glass cased frames on the brick walls. The marquee was bright and on it was a picture of a redheaded woman wearing a purple dress, lying on her side and smiling at the people below with welcoming eyes.

Talia hesitated and Jack opened one of the doors, motioning inside.

"Get in already," he barked.

She glared at him but obliged. Inside there were carpeted floors and red velvet ropes marking paths to the doors of the theater. The ceilings were high with glass domes, the prettiest ceiling she'd ever seen. Jack opened the door to the theater hall and Talia froze when she took a step inside. Practically every seat in the front was occupied by a Newsie. They cheered for her, stood and clapped and waved their hats in the air, all smiling at her. Jack placed a hand on the small of her back and led her-more like pushed her-down to the front. The room was massive, holding maybe 1,000 seats, and the stage was lined with lights. Dark red curtains hung on either side.

The red-haired woman from the marquee was sitting on stage, laughing at the Newsies' enthusiasm, and there was a three man band next to the stage. The woman stood and walked up the side stairs, motioning for Talia to join her. Jack gently pushed her.

"Quit bein' scared," he said in her ear.

She glared at him but he grinned in reply. The room was echoing with whistles and cheers, Talia looked out and saw the Newsies from Jack's group in the front row. There were even some she had never seen before. Jack took a seat between Kid Blink and David, his eyes anxious.

Talia went up the stairs and approached the woman, who smiled warmly but her eyes glinted seriously. At the moment, nervous didn't describe how Talia was feeling. But she held her shoulders back and her chin high; she did not want the boys-or Jack-to see her fear. Though her heart was about to leap out of her chest.

"Hello, Talia," the woman said warmly, her smile growing. "I'm Medda Larkson. David tells me you dance."

"Not for a long time," Talia answered.

"Ooo," Medda said, her eyebrows knitting. She looked down at Jack and David, "You forgot to mention she's _Russian_."

The theater of boys laughed.

"Tha most spirited Russian you'll eva meet!" Racetrack shouted.

The boys laughed louder and Jack even joined them. Talia stuck her tongue out at Race and he clapped.

Medda looked back at Talia, her eyes concentrated on hers.

"Russians are known for their spirit," Medda said theatrically. "And even more so for their dancers."

Talia looked the woman in the eye, not saying anything.

"I'm sure Jack told you my offer," Medda continued in a business-like manner. "Free room and board, with lessons and a bit in my show. _But..._ you've got to show me." Medda motioned out to the empty stage and looked down at the band.

"A Russian number, boys," Medda said as she walked off stage, standing in the shadow of the curtain. "Take your time to prepare."

Talia took a deep breath and slowly took off her shoes, looking down at Jack. She wanted to kill him. She hated to make a fool out of herself. It had been years and dancing only hurt her heart when she thought about it…it was an unachievable dream.

But she fought through the memories, remembering back to her training in Russia; the cold floor beneath her feet, the wall of mirrors and the cold air against her skin. Suddenly the theater was gone, the faces vanished, and she could see herself reflected back to her in the mirrors. She removed her blouse, revealing her lace chemise, and felt at ease when she could move her arms freely. She tucked some of her skirt into the waistband until it hit her shins. She stretch a little, touching the floor and rotating her shoulders, stretching her back. Her muscles adjusted quickly, remembering.

When she felt ready, she took a deep breath and stood still, forgetting everything.

She heard the keys of the piano, their sounds filling the room, and then the deep voice of the cello, weaving through her. She knew this piece...she ignored the emotions it stirred in her, the memories of her home. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. On release, she lifted her arms and felt her body rise and leave earth.

In the seats, the boys fell quiet. Perhaps it was the melancholy of the music or the response of the dancer on stage that had stunned them. In an instant, she had changed everything: the theater seemed colder and she seemed to reflect their own sorrow, their loneliness. Her heart was broken, and the sorrow was too much for words. They were in awe.

Jack was leaning on his elbows, his hands clasped in front of his mouth, his eyes following her every movement. He wanted to leave. He suddenly didn't want to watch. It was too much, too personal. He felt like an intruder, as if she were undressing in front of him without her knowing. And she looked frail, breakable; every movement she created was so fragile, he'd never seen her so beautiful before. She was innocent.

He wanted to leave. But something—she—kept him in his seat. He couldn't breathe and his heart felt heavy. She was…he couldn't find the words.

Medda watched, her bright blue eyes entranced by the young woman. She may not have danced in years but her body flowed like water as the steps and poise came back to her. Her lines were almost perfect, her leg lifts almost flawless, and her back arched and bent effortlessly. She may not have danced in years, but a dancer never forgets.

Talia strained her body, wanting to push it as far as it would go. She opened her eyes and saw herself in the cold broken mirror in the Russian dance studio, her skirt wrapping around her legs as she lifted into an arabesque, so graceful she doubted it was her. The movements came back to her as if through a fog; the twist of her torso, her pirouettes, and the graceful reach of her arms were ghosts of memories. The pains of her body left her, leaving through her finger tips. The tightness in her legs spread and disappeared with every lift and curl. From inside out, she escaped, letting her body move freely, her thoughts fading. No man could take this from her.

The song slowed and she felt her body coming back to the wooden floor and the warm lights of the stage. She stopped moving, her thoughts returned, and she could feel the air flowing in and out of her lungs. She opened her eyes and saw the faces staring at her and she looked back at them, doubt in her eyes. She saw Jack.

Suddenly, he was the only one there. He was staring at her, his dark eyes hungry but it was not the hunger she was accustomed to seeing in a man's eyes.

He stared at her…and he saw _her_.

Medda walked out onto the stage, her arms folded, and Talia tore her eyes away from Jack to look at the woman.

Medda's eyes narrowed, "You were not perfect. Your body needs to be retrained. And you need discipline."

Talia, with her chest rising and falling, stared at Medda. She felt like a little girl again, receiving criticism from her teacher…

"But," Medda continued, stepping closer. Her eyes met Talia's, two seas staring at each other, and a smirk appeared on her face.

"Russia cried the day you left her, my dear."

Talia felt overwhelmed, the air within her lungs expanding, and she fought not to release the sob building inside her. She always strove to be hard, to be an impenetrable rock that no one could ever break. But this was beyond emotions, beyond her fears. She had found her passion again.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

The theater exploded with applause. The boys stood and yelled to the top of their lungs, clapping until their hands stung.

Medda laughed and put her arm around Talia, turning her to face the Newsies. Talia couldn't help but laugh a little at Racetrack who was on Mush and Kid Blink's shoulder, clapping and pointing at her.

Jack was clapping too but he was not smiling.

"So," Medda said in Talia's ears, smiling at her. "When can you start?"


	10. Chapter 10

*Updated this chapter too. I'm working on the next chapter, promise! Just keep thinking of better ideas for previous chapters!*

Jack looked at her like he'd never seen her before. She was a new person, a new face with a different story from the one he'd known. She was strong, almost to a fault, but when she had been dancing, he had seen the emotions she had kept bottled up-the pain-and he wondered how anyone could keep from breaking. She was an artist, painting a new picture of something he'd never seen before. Even as she came down from the stage to smile at the guys, she looked different. Her eyes were alive, filled with a cool fire that hadn't been there before.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. He wanted her: the energy she emitted, the life that shown in her eyes. He wanted it. He wanted _her_.

And he hated himself for it.

She was smiling and laughing with Mush and the others who were fawning over her, completely in awe of her. Jack could still see the deep, almost permanent hurt in her eyes but he knew it would take time to go away. But a glimmer of the girl beneath the surface, the real Talia, had been revealed to them on stage. He wanted to take away the pain in her eyes, to let her true self come to him.

He shook his head, looking down at his shoes and scratching his ear. He _really_ had to snap out of it. But he heard her laugh…he looked up and saw her actually smiling. Though his face showed no emotion, beneath the surface of his skin, he was on fire.

He couldn't deny it much longer. He still felt the ghost touch of her lips on his when he had kissed her in her apartment…

He ran his fingers through his hair and huffed in frustration. None of the guys were looking at him; their eyes were on Talia. But he was paranoid that his thoughts would burst from his brain at any moment. He kept his distance, watching from his seat.

Soon Medda took Talia upstairs to see her new apartment. Kid Blink, Mush, Racetrack and David followed them with Jack tailing behind them. The other Newsies left the theater to hoot and holler their way through the streets back to the Lodging House.

The Newsies had noticed Jack's strange quietness and knew that look in his eyes. They had smiled and punched his arm playfully as they had passed him, shouting that they would see him tomorrow at the docks. He ignored them.

At the top of a flight of creaky stairs, carpet lined a dark narrow hallway. Medda's door was on the right. Talia's was at the end on the left. Medda opened the door and let Talia step in first, followed by the curious boys.

The room was warm, colored with deep purples and greens. Lamps filled the dark rooms with light and they could hear the nightlife of the city: carriages and horses clipping along on the street, men shouting as they returned from the factories. Someone was playing a violin.

"That would be Kloppman," Medda said. "He practices here some nights, up on the roof."

"Wait a minute," Race said, glancing at the guys. "_Our_ Kloppman? Old man _Kloppman_?"

Everyone was silent for a moment, listening to the sweet sound of the violin, weaving through the room, muffled by the closed windows. Talia liked it.

Medda smiled sneakily at the boys, "Don't know him as well as you thought you did, huh?"

Mush, Race and Kid Blink looked at each other. So that's why Kloppman stepped out some nights for hours at a time, only to reappear in time to wake them. They suddenly felt ashamed; they had no idea...

There was a kitchen to the left of the front door, stocked with dishes and cookware. There was even an ice box. Past the kitchen in the living room, there were two couches facing each other, velvet, on a rug that covered the entire floor. Pictures hung on the walls, posters of shows. Windows lined the wall from the dining room through the living room and to the bedroom door, hung with dark curtains to keep the sun out when drawn.

In the bedroom, a queen size bed with burgundy feather bedding greeted Talia. The sheets looked so clean, she hesitated to touch them. On the other side of the bed there was a wardrobe with a small door that led into the bathroom, equipped with a porcelain wash bin and bath tub supported on golden "feet".

It was elegant and sparkling. Talia went back into the sitting room and looked at Medda nervously, expecting her to tell her it was all a lie.

The woman smiled, lifting her eyebrows.

"So, what do you think?"

Talia looked around the room again and the boys smiled at her reaction.

"It's…it looks expensive."

Medda laughed, "A sharpshooter; I like her."

"So do we," Mush said affectionately.

"I don't know what to say," Talia said quietly, glancing around uncomfortably.

Medda placed her hands on either side of Talia, gripping her arms gently. She lowered her face, looking into Talia's cold eyes, "Not a thing. You stay here, work for me, and help me run the place. And no alcohol, no men. Except for my boys here."

She winked at Jack who was leaning against the wall but Jack was looking out the window, gazing out to the dark sea of rooftops.

"All you have to do is dance," Medda smiled warmly at her. "You'll be wonderful. Alright boys, go get her things already!"

The boys jumped into action and told Talia they'd be back with her clothes and whatever else they could carry. She told them not to worry about the couch or her bed.

Medda left the room quietly and Talia and Jack were the only ones left in the room. The room was quite dark despite the number of gas lamps with glass domes, casting beautiful patterns of light onto the floor. Jack's face was partly shadowed, veiling his eyes. He stared out the window, his mind far away.

Talia's eyes squinted inquiringly as she watched him.

"Why did you do this?" she asked quietly, stepping closer to Jack until she was standing next to him.

He was leaning against the wall on his side, facing the window, his hands stuffed in his pockets. He turned towards her, his back on the wall. His eyes were blank but his chest was heaving.

He shrugged, "Ya needed it."

She stared at him and she saw the uncomfortable feeling inside him. He huffed and licked his lips, thinking.

"Yeah, well…I knew—well David knew that Medda'd be able ta help you. It was really all his idea."

He looked away from her, scuffing his shoes on the rug. His hair hung down over his eyes as he stared at the floor. "Ya did good up there." He looked up at her, reading her eyes.

"Is that it?" she asked. A flash of annoyance crossed her icy eyes.

He looked at her and took in her frustrated expression. She was breathtaking, even when mad. He hated those thoughts...His hands were tense. He huffed again.

He couldn't deny it anymore.

"Nah," he said, stepping away from the wall, "'s not it."

He quickly took her by the arms and pulled her to him, kissing her hard on the lips the way he had in her old apartment. But this time he kissed her for as long as he wanted to.

She didn't resist him but she didn't encourage him either: she allowed his lips to move against hers, to part her lips, and to taste the inside of her mouth with his tongue. His hand traveled and knotted in her hair, holding her firmly to him. She opened her eyes and saw the desire in the eyes staring back at her.

But it was more than desire. She just couldn't understand it…it was something that had been there for a while, just waiting to brim over the edge. Something he'd been itching to do. And yet, at the same time, she couldn't help but feel like he wanted to run: his body was tense and ready to bolt. She could practically feel his self loathing for being so "vulnerable". She knew him well.

But…

He didn't run.

The muscles under his shirt were tight as he held her firmly, but he didn't do anything else.

As their lips moved together, she could feel her urge to run too and she could feel her wall coming up, ready to part from him. He was too close. She felt the panic…

He could feel that she wanted to pull away but he held her there, _making_ her kiss him. He opened his eyes and saw her looking back. He saw fear.

He turned and guided her, gently pushing her backwards until her back met the wall. He reached behind her with his left hand, feeling the wallpaper beneath his fingers. He pressed into her gently, feeling his body light up like the city of New York. But he wasn't trying anything: he was blocking her, trapping her within his arms and legs.

He pulled away from her and looked at her face, seeing the uncertainty in her expression, the hesitation. He licked his lips and tried to slow his breathing. He wanted to try again. This time he touched her lips gently and kissed her as if she were something delicate in his hands. The delicate girl who'd been tough for so long, the girl he wanted to protect.

Never in her whole life had she been kissed like this. She didn't know what to do. If she wanted to run before, it was nothing compared to the horror growing inside her now. She was trapped, he wouldn't let her go, and he was so determined to keep her here…

If he left her now, walked out the door and never saw her again, she'd hate him forever. He would break her.

He pulled away again and looked at her, panting through his parted lips. He kept his hands on the wall and his head was leaning towards her, almost resting his forehead against hers. His eyes flickered between hers and his body felt like it was tingling all over. He felt lighter than air. But she…

She looked terrified. But she didn't run.

She stared back at him and she slowly parted her lips. "You don't know what you're doing, Jack," she whispered quietly.

He stared back at her for a long moment, wondering what in the hell he had done. Now they were _something_. Before they were just…well, he didn't know what they had been. But now, they were definitely something. But as he looked into her eyes, he didn't regret anything.

"I neva do," he answered huskily.

She apprehended him for a moment, her eyes wide as she searched his face.

Her wall was still up. He could see it. He had a strong desire to take a hammer to it, to be the one on the other side of it with her, to know everything about her. To remove the mask she had always worn so effortlessly. He didn't understand why but he was determined to do it.

"What are we doing, Jack?" she asked, her bright eyes boring into his.

"I don' know," he said with a huff.

He ran his fingers through his hair and Talia took the opportunity to slip out from under him, feeling the air fill her lungs again. She placed her hands over her face, standing between the two velvet loveseats. She knotted her fingers in her hair and looked back to Jack who was leaning against the wall next to the window again, watching her indifferently.

"We don't follow the rules very well, do we?" she asked.

"I guess not," he looked down at the floor, his brow knitted.

"What's the matter, Jack?" she asked suddenly. She saw it in his face: he was angry. She felt her skin prickling; she wanted to get mad at him too, to fire off at him. She wanted to make him leave.

"When are ya gonna get it outta your head that I'm not like the othas?" he shot back, his dark eyes meeting hers.

She looked at him blankly.

"I'm not afta what the othas were afta."

"Then what are you after?" she asked angrily, bitterness in her eyes.

He shook his head, "I don' know. What you're afta, I guess."

"I'm after something?" she scoffed. "What would I ever get from _you_?"

He took a quick step forward, his eyes shining fiercely. He stopped in front of her and spoke quietly but fiercely in her face, "The thing you feel wheneva you weren't locked up in your room with some man off tha street. Wheneva we're on tha docks, walkin' in tha street, wheneva you're with _me._"

"And what's that?" she shouted, her eyes wild.

He stepped away from her, trying to keep his anger under control; he didn't like it when she shouted at him. He could take the Newsies or the Weasel shouting at him. But not her.

He took a deep breath and exhaled quickly, letting go of his frustration.

"Freedom," he said.

She regarded him for a long minute. She looked away from him and went behind the velvet couch, running her fingers over it, her thoughts taking her away. Her voice was low when she spoke: "I've got many bad habits, Cowboy."

She met his dark eyes, "And I'm not talking about my drinking or sleeping around."

He only stared at her, watching her move around the room, touching things with her finger tips, afraid they would break if she lingered on them too long.

"I'm a good liar, Jack," she said softly. "I have been for a while."

He looked away from her, his irritation returning.

"I-I don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me all ya want," he said, frustrated. "I'm still not goin' anywhere." He went back to the window, leaning against the wall.

He glanced back at her and saw she was looking at him.

Her eyes were smoldering, looking at him in a way that made his skin craw, and her full lips were parted slightly, her chest heaving slowly as she breathed. She was still only wearing her chemise and skirt, her perfect breasts barely visible at the edge of the delicate lace. But his eyes stayed locked with hers as she approached him slowly. She seemed to be waiting for him to do something, to act: she moved slowly, her muscles tense and ready to run if she felt that she needed to.

But he stayed still with his head leaned back against the wall behind him, his narrowed eyes curious. She moved closer until she was barely pressed against him, trapping _him_ now. She was almost his height, her eyes level with his. He saw a freckle on her right cheek that he had never notice before. Her skin was so smooth… her striking blue eyes were unlike any eyes he had ever seen; he thought she could see right through his.

She had always seemed older than him, knowing more than he did. And maybe she was, by a few months at least. She was so jaded. Even more than him.

He was surprised when he felt her hands on his stomach, her fingers splayed over his shirt. Her hands traveled up and over his chest. Her head was tilted down, her eyes looking up at him through her dark eyelashes. She leaned closer to him, her nose barely brushing his upper lip. He could smell her dark hair.

"So, this won't hurt you?" She purred. "Every day, the same thing, and you won't _feel_ anything?"

His eyes darkened. This wasn't her; this was her mask. She was hiding. She was trying to make him run, to prove a point.

She was trying to push him away.

She lifted her face and her lips were brushing his, softer than silk. He tried to ignore his body; he felt like a loaded gun, ready to smoke.

Her eyes were smoldering, seductive and almost playful. He didn't want her to play these games with him…to pretend. But he still saw the fear inside her.

"Didn't they warn you…" she murmured, her lips brushing his as she spoke, "don't fall for prostitutes?"

He took a few breaths, looking at her face, her horrible beautiful face.

"They don' call me a fool fa nothin'."

"You are a fool, Jack Kelly."

He felt her breath on his lips and he watched her, fully aware of his body's reaction...

She paused, feeling his body against hers…_all_ of his body. His hands on her…his warm breath in her face…it felt too familiar.

Her mask broke. This isn't what she wanted.

She pushed away from him, turning to the door to hide her pained face. Her breath caught; sweaty skin, hard gasps in he ear, rough hands all over her-

Too much.

It was too much for him, too.

"Why ya gotta do that?!" he shouted. "Why ya gotta pretend?! I don't _want_ that! Damn it-_stupid girl_!_"_

He'd never met anyone like her; her emotions changing every two minutes. He didn't know where she would be in the next five. He didn't think he could take anymore.

Then there were footsteps on the stairs and a quick knock on the door. Talia went to answer it while Jack watched her for a moment. Unable to hide his frustration with her, he opened one of the windows and slipped onto the wide fire escape, disappearing into the dark street below.


	11. Chapter 11

*New chapter, whoohoo! I updated the previous chapters because I had some new ideas for them. I kind of have a better idea where the story is going now so I'm working more on this one and the next one. Thanks to the ones who are still reading! Your comments are very encouraging! Hope you like this chapter, next one coming shortly!*

Jack didn't know where to go. He didn't want to be at Talia's and he didn't want to be in the bunk room with the others…so he sat on the roof of the lodging house, listening to the laughter that floated up to him from the open windows of the bunkroom below.

He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the "fresh" air of the city. There was a breeze tonight and it tousled his brown hair and caressed his warm face. The cigarette between his fingers was getting shorter with every puff and the smoke filled his nose and clouded his thoughts. He just wanted to float away.

The roof was desolate and cluttered with abandoned things like molded newspapers and crates. He sat on a stack of crates near the edge of the roof and looked out over the sea of roof tops and chimneys, the sky barely colored from the city lights. It was around midnight.

He heard loud excited shouts from below and he caught Mush's voice.

"'ey, where's Jack?"

"On tha roof," Boots' voice echoed. "But I don' think he wants ta be bother'd, know what I'm sayin'?"

"Too bad," he heard Kid Blink say.

A few minutes later he heard footsteps and he sighed. So much for being irritated alone. His friends weren't the best at taking hints.

He heard the metal door to the roof open and when he looked up, Mush, Race, David and Kid Blink were standing next to him.

"'ey," Mush said, leaning an elbow on a high crate.

"'ey," Jack echoed indifferently.

Kid Blink stepped in front of him to see his face. "Ya left kinda quick, Jack."

"Some of that stuff wasn't easy ta move," Race said, rotating his shoulder as he sat on a crate.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "Had betta places to be."

David scoffed, looking around the dirty roof. "Great spot."

"Not now Dave," Jack replied darkly. "I'm not in tha mood."

"Talk to us, man," Mush said as he sat on a crate below Jack's.

"I don't have nothin' ta say," Jack said curtly.

"Cut it out, man," Kid Blink said abruptly, tired of beating around the bush. "Stop playin' with Talia. She doesn't need this from you right now."

"_Me_? Play with _her_?" Jack said loudly as he looked at Kid. He stood up, feeling energy course through him as his frustration came back in full swing.

"_She's_ playin' with _me_! 's what she does! She leads men on and then drops 'em on their asses when she gets what she wants."

"'s not true, Jack," Kid said through clenched teeth, shaking his head. "She's needin' you and you're turning your back on her."

"She tell ya that?" Jack was pacing back and forth with his friends' eyes following him. "What she need me for? Huh?"

"She needs a friend," David chimed in. "You know she doesn't talk with any of us the way she talks to you. You know her better than anyone."

"Yeah, sure," Jack snuffed. "Yet she keeps lyin' ta me. She says 'don't hurt me, Jack, don' fall for me, Jack' an' tha next minute she's treatin' me like one of her customas!"

"Whoa..." Mush said under his breath.

The boys watched him for a minute, practically seeing his heart beat faster with every pace. He flicked his cigarette butt over the ledge and he pushed his hand through his hair.

"I've neva met anyone like her. I wanna stay, I wanna go. She…she's so god damn frustratin'!"

"She's scared," David said gently. "Jack, think about it: every man that's come into her life only stuck around for twenty minutes. You're the one that's been there after they've left. She doesn't know how to take that."

"Well...she won't have that problem for long," Jack said quietly. "I'm done playin' her games or whateva the hell she's doin'. I told her how I felt."

He glanced at the guys and saw their incredulous faces.

"Yeah, I did," he said to them boldly. "Jack Kelly has feelin's, jus' like everybody else."

"So," Race said as he shrugged his shoulders. "How _do_ you feel, Jack? 'Cause the way we sees it, ya got as much _feeling_ as a loaded gun."

"All you've been is angry with her," Mush said gently.

"Because-" Jack struggled for a minute, suddenly feeling cornered. These _were_ his best friends but still…

The hell with it.

"Because she doesn't know, a'right?"

"Doesn't know _what_, Jack?" David said, digging.

"She doesn't know _anything_!" Jack shouted, his voice carrying across the roof tops. "She doesn' know that she's in my head every damn day. Ev'ry day I see her face and I can' sleep at night. I wanna tell her somethin'…somethin' that'll make her smile but then the next second I wanna scream at her. She's my worst nightmare! She's tha worst thing tha's eva happened ta me and I wish I'd _neva_ met her! I've neva been so god damn angry before in my life…and it's all because of _her_!"

Kid Blink and Mush glanced at each other and then back to Jack, waiting…

"Ev'ry time I'm around her…'s like I can't…I can't fuckin' breathe," he was still walking back and forth. He couldn't keep still. He wanted to shut his mouth, to erase everything he'd just said but it was out now. They'd never let it go...he couldn't shut up. He felt like a balloon letting out hot air; it was exhausting keeping all this inside for so long...

So he kept going.

"She's so stupid, so god damn stupid. I'm not _like_ the othas… ev'ry time she went with 'em, who was there ta clean up after 'em? They didn't give a shit that they'd just ruined my day. She sees every otha man but _me_. An' why? Because I don't have anythin' ta give her? I don't _want_ what they want and she won't _listen ta me_! I can'...I can't undastand her, the way she thinks...she's afraid of _me_ hurtin' her? It's the otha way around."

He kicked in a nearby crate and it fell in a small heap. He paused and the air seemed to hum with tension. He wanted to hit something. The guys were breathing heavily just by watching him.

Jack's chest heaved and he sniffed before speaking, "She doesn' know that I'm done."

"What-" David spluttered, not wanting to lose the ground they'd just gained. "Jack, she _needs_ you."

Jack looked at David, "Tell her whateva ya want, it won' matter because I'm gone. She can keep away from me. I don' wanna see her."

"Yeah, ya do," Kid Blink contradicted.

Jack glared at his best friend, "No, I don', Blink."

"Ya tellin' me that when she comes around wantin' ta see you, you're gonna jus' walk away? What if she slips back into the brothel, huh? What if she bums with every guy in town, ya tellin' me ya won' think about it? What if she _does_ kill herself, then what, Jack?"

"Shut it, Blink," Jack growled. The thoughts came back…sweaty men on top of her, their hands gripping her skin, the dreams he had every night… Her standing alone at the docks with her hands tied...

"_You_ make her betta, Jack!" Kid Blink shouted. "Look at what's happened. She's out of tha brothel and livin' under Medda's roof. _You_ did that, Cowboy. Don' tell her you're bailin' now…or else you _would_ be like the other guys."

"Wow, Kid..." Race said, stunned. "That was real poetic of ya."

Kid shrugged; he was secretly beaming but he still glared at Jack.

Jack felt like Kid Blink had just emptied a bucket of ice water on him. He dropped his head, not wanting to hear anymore.

"Jack," David moved in front of his friend and put his hands on his shoulders, "Do yourself a favor and don't mess up the worst thing that's ever happened to you."

Jack looked David in the eye and after a long pause, he smirked at him.

Jack nodded in agreement, "Worst thing that's ever happened to me."

David smiled.

But Jack was still doubtful. Where would he go from here? He was tired…he was tired of knocking on a door that opened for him and then slammed shut in his face. This wasn't like him at all…he was too close.

Jack looked over the city roof tops, smoke rising into the sky effortlessly. There weren't any stars; they never shined over New York. But he knew they must've been up there, hiding somewhere.

He knew where he needed to go. But he didn't want to go. Not yet. He would wait as long as he could before these clowns pushed him out the door.

He huffed through his nose, looking at David with an exasperated expression.

The boys smiled at him gently, seeing the conflicting emotions raging war within his eyes.

"Girls, man," Mush said as he squeezed Jack's shoulder. "They'll drive ya crazy."

"Yeah," Jack replied unenthusiastically. "'cept I was already crazy."

"Ain't that the truth," Racetrack laughed, beaming with a cigar hanging lazily from the corner of his mouth.

Jack nodded a few times, thinking. "I'll talk ta her."

The boys smiled and clapped him on the back, saying words of encouragement.

Jack left the roof with his friends and they went to the bunkroom where the others were. He wanted to lose himself to the mindless New York accented conversations for a little while.

….

The next day, Jack waited until he had sold all his papers. It was around four o'clock. But even then, he still didn't want to go.

"Go, man," David said as they were walking down the street to the Lodging House. "She won't wait around forever."

Jack agreed and unwillingly left David's side to go to the theater.

Inside was cool and dark. He could hear a woman's voice, loud and demanding, and he squinted down to the stage, seeing Talia.

She was wearing a long flowing skirt of tulle and a leotard, the pink fabric soft against her skin. He hair was pinned up, exposing her face, and she was moving quickly across the stage in rhythm to the woman's shouts. She must have been the woman Medda hired to teach Talia.

Talia did a jump of sorts; he never realized how long her legs were...

Jack hung in the back of the room with his arms crossed, watching. He saw a figure move out of the corner of his eye and saw Medda coming towards him from the isle of seats. She beamed at him, glancing to the girl on stage.

"She's a natural," Medda said proudly. "People will love watching her."

Jack tensed, "Jus' hope it's the _right_ people." He gave Medda a look.

"Ah... afraid of old unwanted company, huh?"

Jack didn't say anything.

"Can't do anything about that, Cowboy. _But_ I can guarantee no one will touch her."

She glanced at him and he shifted his arms uncomfortably.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"But you didn't come here to talk ticket prices," Medda smiled at him gently, pushing back his hair.

"I need ta talk to her."

Medda nodded, "So, the boys got through to you."

He looked at her and she nodded.

"Oh, yes. They were in...quite the mood when they left last night. She was too. Broke a few plates..."

Jack huffed, "She has that habit."

"She has a lot of habits, Jack," Medda said softly. "She's a bird in a cage just looking for a way out. So much anger, so much _hurt_...she's a broken woman. So many men have taken pieces of her that when they left, she couldn't piece herself back together. She's good at lying, I'll give her that. But she's also been lied _to; _so many times by those she thought she could trust_._"

Jack glanced at Medda, "She's told _me_ lies."

"And she's terrified to tell you anything different."

"What, tha truth?" he said angrily. "I've _always_ told her tha truth."

"But you're a man, dear," Medda said sweetly. "And there were plenty before you that lied to her. In her mind, you're just another."

He grimaced at the chairs in front of him.

"She's aching, Cowboy. I think you distracted her from that ache long enough that she felt whole again."

Jack thought for a moment and his eyes trailed up the seats to the girl on stage.

Medda smiled sadly as she watched his face. "You're a good man, Jack. Like your father...you've got so much energy; wanting to change everything for the better. Start here; start with her. The real Natalia is under that cold exterior, she just needs a little encouragement."

Jack nodded, inhaling and letting the air out in a huff.

Medda squeezed his shoulder then turned to leave him. "You'll have to wait 'til after her lesson. Go up in the balcony to your old seat; I'll send her up."

Jack hadn't sat in the old corner seat in years. It's red velvet was still faded and in the wall his knife carving was still there: "Jack's seat".

He remembered sitting here as a kid with his father, watching Medda dancing and hearing her sing his favorite songs. He watched Talia dance now, allowing himself to forget why he came here. She had such grace and beauty when she danced; hard to think that she was such spitfire off stage when she was angry with him.

After thirty minutes, the lesson ended. Talia met with her teacher below the stage and then Medda approached her. They hugged and Medda whispered in her ear. Talia glanced up to the balcony.

Jack looked away but he knew she saw him. She disappeared under the balcony.

She was so quiet when she entered the balcony that he didn't hear her until the floor creaked. He glanced at her and she was hesitant as she approached him. She walked down the steps and rested her hands on the balcony railing, ten seats down from Jack's. Her posture was already different, no longer lazy and seductive. Her back was straight and her arms were light as they rested on the cool metal railing. She even held her head a little higher.

A completely different woman. On the outside at least.

Man, if dancing did all _that_...

"'ey," he said.

She didn't say anything, only stared down to the stage, watching Medda talk with her teacher.

Jack huffed and stood. He went to her side and leaned on the railing, looking at her face. The lights from the stage lit her eyes. Though she did not look at him, he could see the pain, the disappointment.

"I'm sorry...Talia," he said slowly, his voice deep.

She inhaled deeply, her chest expanding.

"Why did you come back?"

He was taken aback by her question.

"I wanted ta see you."

"So here I am," she said evenly, meeting his eyes.

He felt cornered again. He knew this was a bad idea.

He dropped his head, resting his forehead on his folded hands on the railing.

"Look, I said I was sorry."

"Every _man_ says they're sorry," she snapped, her accent cruel. "But no man ever says what he's _really_ thinking."

He scoffed, "Shoulda been on tha roof with me last night..."

"What?" she asked.

He stood up straight and turned towards her, "Talia, every time I tell ya what I'm thinkin', I get a slap in tha face or a plate thrown at me."

She wheeled around, her wild eyes searching his. But she knew he was right.

"Ya _never_ want ta hear what I'm thinkin'," he said loud enough to fill the balcony. "Because you don't _like_ what I'm thinkin'."

"And what's that, Cowboy?"

"You."

She looked away. He went on the other side of her, trapping her. His body leaned towards her, encircling her almost. She even looked uncomfortable.

He tried to speak in a softer tone, his face down next to hers. "You're not used ta that...you're not used ta havin' someone think about ya. You're in my thoughts every damn day."

"_Stop_ _it_," Talia spat. "You need to _stop_ _it, _Jack. You can't come along, expect me to give you _everything_, to _feel_, and then run away like a child."

"_You're one ta talk,_" he said darkly.

"I knew this was a bad idea," she said as she turned to leave.

He grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him.

"Talia," he said huskily.

She waited.

He struggled, more than he had ever struggled in his entire life. He couldn't find the right words. What was it he said to the guys last night...he had never had a problem talking to her before...

Then he took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles absentmindedly.

She watched him doubtfully.

He looked her in the eye and decided to speak whatever came to his mind, not caring what came out of his mouth. Up in the dark balcony, he felt safe and that no one else could see or hear him. Only her.

"I don' care about what men have done to ya. I don't care what lies they've told ya or what ya told them. I know you're mad at me. But it doesn't compare to the anger I have for myself for letting you go as many times as I did."

She looked at him carefully, trying to understand.

He licked his lips, thinking of how to say it...

"Every time ya left ta be with 'em, I let ya go because I thought there was no point in stoppin' ya. But I should've. 'cause now that I think about it, you were waitin' for me ta give ya a reason ta stay."

She blinked a couple of times and looked away from him, trying to hide her eyes.

He tilted his face to see hers, "_I'm_ tha reason, Talia. But I can't make ya stay. Only you can do that."

She looked back and when she turned her face, his face was nearly touching hers. He could see every spec of icy blue in her eyes. They were glassy, like a frozen lake, and they were fierce. But as he looked at them, they seemed to soften under his gaze. He felt like he could see right through them to something inside her that he was never meant to see. But she let him in.

And then it was gone; he could practically see the wall inside her come up.

She nodded slowly, swallowing, and her voice was barely audible. "Alright, Jack."

He exhaled, feeling drained.

She looked down at Medda, "She really is wonderful...she talked with me for five hours last night, telling me her story. If she can over come the scars of selling yourself, I can too."

Jack's eyes grew twice their size and he looked down at her face, reading her eyes.

"Medda was neva-"

She smiled gently, "You'd never be able to tell. I almost didn't. Then she did something every prostitute does."

Jack's brow furrowed.

"She touched the rim of her corset above her left breast. She's right handed; every prostitute puts money in their corset, usually under the arm. She said she stopped selling when she was twenty and joined the theater but the habit stuck with her. She still keeps money there, just because it's a 'damn good spot to put it'."

Talia laughed but Jack's face was still white as paper.

Talia shook her head at him, "Don't you dare think differently of her, Jack. She is who she is today because of who she used to be. But she grew from it instead of shriveling up into nothing. I can do the same."

She looked at him, smiled, and quickly kissed him on the cheek like she had so many times to Kid Blink and Mush. She leaned away from him and she looked almost confused...

He stared at her for a moment, noticing how the shadows fell across her face from the stage lights. Something glinted in her eyes, like she wasn't satisfied, and her smile faded as she examined his face. He suddenly felt naked the way she looked at him.

She leaned closer again, hesitantly, until her nose brushed his. He could feel her warm breath as she stood still for a moment, her wide eyes staring into his. He saw the terrified look in her eyes but for some reason he felt that she enjoyed it. She slowly placed her lips on his, her tongue grazing his lower lip.

It was the first time she kissed him. _He_ had kissed her twice but this...this was all her.

And if his body had been on fire before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now.

Damn it.

He stood still, his eyes still staring at her. She kissed him for a long moment, the longest minute of his life, and when she pulled away her lips were still touching his. She opened her eyes and looked at him, reading his expression.

Without a word, she quickly turned and went up the stairs, leaving him alone on the balcony.

It wasn't until he inhaled that he realized he hadn't been breathing.


	12. Chapter 12

Talia could barely breathe. She had to leave him; she didn't know what else to do. She had felt like she was in a corner, suffocating, all these thoughts coming at her and she didn't know what to do with them. She wanted to stay, she wanted to go...She felt foolish for running away but these raging feelings inside her…

She'd kissed plenty of men before, nothing special. They're all rats with the same pair of lips.

But that...

That was something _different_.

And she wanted him. She wanted him like a tiger wanted meat. She felt desires she had never felt before. _Real_ desires.

But she couldn't encourage them. Encouraging them would be setting him up for a great fall on his ass. She couldn't do that to him, the way she had done plenty of other men.

Some men had used _her_. But there had been times that she had led a select few to believe she _loved_ them, that she was all theirs...for a price. She learned her lesson a few years ago, that some men go mad, even willing to kill her if they couldn't have her exclusively.

She couldn't do that to Jack. Not Jack.

For years, it was just sleeping around, no emotions attached and no big deal. Every movement was the same...every male body. It was a performance she had to do in order to live. It was something she did with men that made her feel dirty, worthless. And she had learned to _hate_ it.

But when she thought about Jack; thought about _his_ hands on her skin, _his_ lips on hers, _his_ body against hers…

Her bare feet carried her to the other side of the theater, through the backstage and up the wooden stairs to her room. She closed the door behind her and turned around, not moving any farther than the parlor. She covered her face with her hands and slid down against the door, sitting on the wooden floor. She had chills but she was sweating.

What was wrong with her?

When he had kissed her before, she hadn't felt much of anything; she was stunned by his aggressive abruptness...she was heartbroken that he had broken the rule. The rule that she was off limits to feelings of affections, of anything...When he had kissed her, she could have killed him. Because no matter how many times she denied it, she felt the same. But her nonchalance had become a part of her, to not get attached. And indifference can lead anyone to madness.

She would know.

She couldn't return it-those _feelings_- to him. She couldn't. It will kill him. She wanted him to stop fighting for her; every day he broke down doors, both ones in New York and inside her, just to get through to her. Because every time he fought for her, he traveled farther down the hole.

He's a damn fool.

This is silly. This is _Jack Kelly_, the boy (alright, young _man_) who bashes heads to solve his problems. The most hotheaded person she had ever met. The most inept and selfish man in New York.

But...

The night he had saved her from Rockefeller; he could've left her. He could have taken advantage of her at the Lodging House. His hands had been so gentle, so gentle she doubted they were Jack's.

He could've let her sink to the bottom of the bay.

Her heart caught in her chest and her eyes brimmed with tears. Why was she so emotional? She hadn't cried in years, not before Jack. But she remembered his face that foggy morning on the docks, staring at her, begging her to come to him. He always came across as someone who could care less about anyone, someone who wasn't bothered by anything. But he cared. A lot. Maybe the most caring of any man she had ever met.

It was almost insulting to compare him to the slugs she had been with.

He was brave. And he was a fighter.

And he had a _great_ body.

She shook her head, placing her hands over her ears and closing her eyes.

This was not like her; she never thought this way. Especially not about_ Jack Kelly_.

But she had thought about it several times, the way he had kissed her, and tonight...at the time, it seemed like a good idea. Something inside her told her to do it; she wanted to taste him. He had a smoky taste to him, like a dying fire that would flare up and within the same minute, die down again. He had so much energy, so much that he didn't know what to do with it.

And she had never wanted to kiss anyone. Not willingly at least.

These feelings…they weren't forced or lies…

They were real. Not a mask she had to put on to fool. Her heart pounded and she touched her lips, her fingers trembling.

She felt sick. What was the matter with her? Talia needed no one. Talia only needed herself. Talia…

Damn it was a good kiss.

She hit the back of her head against the door.

And she thought quitting prostitution was hard enough.

….

"'ey, Jack, how'd it go?" Mush asked as Jack walked into the bunkroom.

Jack had walked back to the Lodging House in a trance, not knowing if he had been going in the right direction. His head was still back at the theater, in the balcony, her shadowed face in front of him. Her soft lips moving against his.

Jack flopped onto the bottom bunk next to Mush, falling onto his back and staring up at the wooden beams of the bunk above him.

Mush, Kid Blink and Race exchanged nervous glances. The other boys had stopped talking, all glancing over to Jack.

Jack closed his eyes and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumbs.

"I talked to her, so what," he said huskily, still remembering her tongue on his lower lip. "...an' she kissed me."

"Well, that's nothin' new. Ya've kissed her before," Race said bluntly. "Twice from what I recall."

The boys laughed.

"No, _egghead_," Jack opened an eye, looking at Race who was standing at his feet. "_She_ kissed _me_."

There was a second of silence and then the room exploded with roars and shouts. Some whistled and crooned at him.

"Don't ya know you're tha luckiest son of a bitch on this side of tha bay?!" Race shouted, beaming down at Jack. "WOO! An' _you_-"

Race pointed at Mush.

"_You_ owe me anotha two bits, ya lucky bastard!"

Mush cursed, reaching for his box under his bed, "Jack, you're _killin'_ me, man..."

Jack glared at his friend.

"Man, I'd kill ta have a girl like Talia," Pie Eater said dreamily as he flipped onto his stomach on one of the top bunks.

"Yeah, an' she'd kick your ass," Specs yelled and everyone roared. Specs smacked Pie Eater on the cheek playfully and he threw his pillow at him, blushing red.

The whole room was deafening, a typical night in the Newsies' house with half of them in bed and half in the bathroom getting ready for bed, all walking around in their shorts.

"Man, 's never a dull moment with you two, is there, Cowboy?" Boots said as he went to the bathroom, shaking his head and smiling. He jokingly kicked Jack's foot as he passed by.

"That's great, right Jack?" Kid Blink asked as he sat next to his best friend, leaning on his elbow.

"No, 's not," Jack said.

The guys blew it off.

"Aw, come off it, Jack," said Skittery.

"What do you guys know about it?" Jack shot back. "Ya don' have a clue about how much of a pain in tha ass she is."

"It's a pain in the ass I'd be glad ta have _any_ day," Pie Eater said, laughing.

"We fight ev'ry damn day," Jack groaned. "She's makin' me insane."

"Ya ever think it's because you two are tha same?" said Snoddy. "I mean think about it; ya both stubborn-"

"Hot headed-" said Skittery.

"_Thick_ headed-" chimed Boots from the bathroom.

"And ya both like ta kiss each otha apparently," Race said with raised eyebrows. "Perfect match, Cowboy."

The guys laughed.

"A'right!" Jack yelled, irritated.

"But no fightin' tomorrow," said Kid Blink, still laughing. "We're all goin' to tha show, right Jack?"

"Do I have a choice?" Jack asked darkly.

"Nope," Race said, putting a new cigar in his mouth. He shouted to the whole room: "So let's shine up a bit, eh fellas?"

The guys shouted with excitement and one by one the bunks filled with their owners. Kloppman came in to make sure they were away in bed. He went over to Jack who was undressing next to his bunk, discouragement on his face.

"'ey, Cowboy," said Kloppman, his eye glasses sliding down his thin crooked nose. His voice sounded so frail, except for when he was waking them up in the morning.

"That new dancer at Medda's, she the one that's been 'round here?"

"Yeah," Jack said unenthusiastically. Why did everyone want to talk about her?

"She's real nice, Cowboy," said Kloppman, nodding to himself. "She made me an' Medda dinner last night. Real nice girl. Said she liked my playing."

Jack looked up, seeing the old man's face. Kloppman was just another fixture in the Lodging House; the boys said good morning and good night to him, never thinking about what the old man did in between, never thinking to really talk to him, to ask him questions. His body was slumped and appeared frail; Jack couldn't picture him playing a violin, let alone holding one. He couldn't explain why, but thinking about Talia and him having dinner made him feel good. Kloppman didn't know about Talia's past, only that she was a nice girl who danced.

She had a clean start. And if anyone was a good judge of character, it was Kloppman.

"Good night boys," the old man said as he left the room, turning out the lights.

"Night, Kloppman," the Newsies replied back.

Jack removed his pants and shirt, leaving nothing but his shorts, and he climbed into his top bunk above Mush's. Kid Blink was on the top bunk to Jack's right, over Race's. The room was beginning to settle, some boys were still restless, picking on their bunkmates. Jack remembered when they were younger, some would cry at night, missing their families, and some would pray. Some still prayed. But the crying stopped a while ago.

Jack was always the last to fall asleep, listening to the creaks of the bunkroom and to the boys' breathing. He didn't know how he was the last, he just knew it.

And he was fine with that.

"Night, fellas," Jack said.

"Night, Cowboy," the guys said sleepily.


	13. Chapter 13

Jack tugged nervously at his jacket; it was too tight in the shoulders. It was the same suit Pulitzer had bought him over a year ago. He had planned to sell it but he kept it just in case.

But he didn't think he'd ever need it to see Talia...

"Relax, man," Mush said, laughing at his friend. "Ya look good."

"Man, he's just anxious to see _his_ _girl_," snickered Kid Blink.

"Shut it, Blink," Jack grumbled as he shoved his best friend. "She's not 'my girl'. She's Talia."

"Sure," Race said as he handed his ticket to the ticket man.

Jack glanced at the posters outside as they waited in line. He saw a big poster of Medda with pictures of different countries around her. The caption read: "Irving Hall Presents The World".

Medda saved the boys fifteen tickets for the second row in front. They glanced around nervously at first, feeling out of place amongst the suits and dresses. But they began to cut up and laugh, their nerves disappearing.

"Man, this place had a different crowd the last time we were here for a show, huh?" David mused, looking at the families and men. "The Newsie Rally seems like it was five years ago."

"I miss it," Boots said thoughtfully. "It was when we gots to see everybody, ya know?"

David put a hand on Boots' shoulder, "Yeah, I know."

"I'd love ta see Spot get into it with Talia," Race said, hitting his fist into his palm as they walked into the velvet clad lobby. "I'd bet on Talia."

The boys laughed as they bounded through the double doors and down the isle to their seats in the second row. Soft voices and laughter of children filled the room as the audience entered the theater. The chandeliers were bright and the heavy red curtain was drawn over the stage.

"'ey, Talia," Race said loudly to the curtain, cupping his hands around his mouth. "We're all here in the second row."

Race never minded making a fool of himself.

"What if she's not back there?" Mush said, laughing.

Race shrugged, leaning back in his seat and propping his feet on the chair in front of him, "She's back there."

Kid Blink smacked Race's legs down and laughed as Race almost slipped out of his seat.

When the candy man, Toby, came down the isle, the boys looked at the colorful candies and treats in his box, their eyes wide.

"Medda's treat boys," Toby said, his clown makeup cracking as he smiled. "Help yourselves."

"WHOO!"

The boys all moved towards Toby, gumdrops falling onto the floor as they shoved their hands into the piles of candy. David and Jack stayed in their seats, watching them and shaking their heads.

"Like they needs more sugar," Jack said.

David laughed, "I wouldn't want to go to a show with anyone else."

Everyone began taking their seats and the lights flashed three times. Then the theater went dark and Jack swallowed as his eyes adjusted. He glanced around the room, his eyes looking at every man's face. While the others were having a carefree time, his hands were sweaty and tense, ready to bust someone's face in...

Wondering if the men in the seats staring at the curtain were here for the same reason he was. Because if something happened to her here, he wouldn't know where else she could go.

Then, the curtain opened and the room filled with applause.

...

Talia waited on the side of the stage, twisting her fingers as she watched the performance of "Germany". The stage lights were nice and bright but she still saw them, sitting in the second row. Her breath caught when she saw his face, watching the performers. He even laughed a few times.

She'd been practicing for hours for the past two days. Her legs were sore but she welcomed the familiarity. Her teacher had been very complimentary, saying she had picked up the steps fairly well. She wasn't a Russian teacher, cold and unforgiving, but Talia preferred her. She practiced in her bedroom and in front of Medda. She knew the dance but she was still surprised that Medda put her in the show so quickly.

"You're a natural," Medda had told her. "And naturals already know the dance."

It was a Russian number. Talia knew it very well. It was a part of the new show and, of course, she represented "Russia". Different countries, different dances. Medda was very proud of it.

Talia took a deep breath, looking down at her dark purple costume, the beads glinting from the stage lights above. It was the prettiest costume she'd ever worn, including the ones she had in Russia. Sometimes she thought about it; her home and her life there where the winters lasted for months and hope was as rare as the sun. Even though sometimes she missed it while she danced, she tried not to think about it too much; too many bad memories. Her accent was beginning to fade as a result of her suppression.

Medda came up behind her, dressed in red with a white parasol in her gloved hands. Medda's eyes glistened with excitement, "You will be _spectacular_, my new star."

Medda put her hands on Talia's cheeks, reading her eyes.

"You're nervous," she said with a smile.

Talia shook her head, "And it's not because I'm next."

"Don't think about him," Medda said sternly. "There's no one out there. It's just you. You're dancing in your living room. Only the only one here."

Talia nodded and Medda quickly kissed her forehead before turning away.

Medda walked onto the stage as the performers exited to the other side. The audience cheered and she clapped her hands.

"And now!" she said loudly, moving her arms theatrically. "We take you Russia! A country where the winters are cruel but the people are strong, like the resilient winter flower."

Talia had told her that, last night when she was in Medda's room...

_Medda asked her, "So, what **is** Russia? When you think of your home, what comes to mind?"_

_Talia thought for a moment, staring at the delicate tea cup in her hands, the steam swirling up to her face._

_"A flower, the ones that survive the winters," she said slowly, lost in her thoughts. "Not matter how hard you crush it, it is still beautiful...and worth fighting for."_

Little did she know the truth of her words at the time; she had no knowledge of the cruelty and turmoil her country was facing. Every now and then she would see the papers in the Newsies' hands and catch a small headline, reading "RUSSIA-" but she would turn her head and forget that she ever saw it. She did not want to read it; she did not want her heart to break.

The curtains closed and the stage hands moved quickly to set up Talia's scene. Talia took her place on stage and watched as the men rolled out a wooden replica of the Kremlin in Moscow. It was her first time seeing it; whoever had painted it had made it bright and colorful, its unique towers spiraling up to the dark rafters. Talia remembered her first time seeing the real Kremlin in Moscow...with her father. The cold on her face, fur coats and dark colors, not like the bright colors on the wooden replica.

The violin began and she took her position. Even though the music was somewhat uplifting, her heart was breaking; she was unable to stop the flow of memories of her home, so far away... as if they were memories from someone else's life, someone much different than her. She felt cold.

The cello weaved through her and the curtains lifted, the lights blinding her. The audience gasped and Talia opened her eyes as snow silently fell from above.

...

Jack's body tensed when he saw her and he wanted to look around to the audience, to see if anyone was watching her...with a certain _interest_. But he couldn't look away from her; he forgot about everything as he watched the fake snow fall from the stage rafters, the lights bathing her in a red glow.

She was dressed in a classic Russian dancer's costume, the deep amethyst striking against her skin. She looked like a delicate flower, dusted lightly with snow. And as she began to stretch her limbs, she was more than graceful; it was as if she did not touch the floor as she moved about. Her face was heartbreakingly sweet, her eyes crying invisible tears.

It was completely silent and Jack suddenly felt as if he was the only one in the entire theater: she was dancing for him.

She danced through the snow and the stage seemed to disappear, the curtains and walls vanishing. Jack forgot that she was Talia, forgetting that she was even human. When she glanced up, her eyes caught the light, like flames. She was breathtaking, like a rare bird flying in and out of reality, her lithe arms beckoning him to follow her.

It ended much too soon but after a quiet pause, the audience stood and applauded, the boys next to Jack shouting the loudest of any.

"That's our girl!" Mush yelled, beaming and clapping his hands. Kid Blink whistled between his fingers and Race waved his hat above his head, standing on his seat.

Talia curtsied, smiling politely and blushing, emerging from her trance.

David glanced at Jack and smiled gently.

"She was perfect."

Jack clapped until his hands went numb, watching her as she flitted off stage. Just before she disappeared behind the curtain, her eyes found on him.

"Yeah, she is."


	14. Chapter 14

The show proceeded and Talia didn't have any more performances. But she stayed behind the curtains, watching the boys, watching _Jack_. After another forty-five minutes, the show ended and everyone came out for a bow. Talia received the loudest applause, even from the other dancers and performers. Talia covered her laugh with her hands as the second row erupted with shouts and whistles. Jack watched her silently, his eyes glinting strangely. She secretly enjoyed it, his eyes on her.

Medda hugged her when she came off stage and she spoke into her ear, "Get changed, dear. We are all going out. My treat."

Talia dressed in her apartment, her costume laying on the wing backed chair in the corner. She dressed in a plain white blouse with her new favorite blue skirt, a gift from Medda. It was made with a soft thick material and fell to the floor. Nothing too fancy but it suited her just fine.

She unpinned her hair, falling in waves down her back. She stared into the mirror on the dresser; her cheeks were still flushed and the delicate collar of her blouse looked strange around her neck, her skin covered. She rolled up the sleeves, feeling a little less constricted.

Down stairs, the performers were undressing and changing and the girl dancers smiling at Talia and congratulating her on her first performance. They were nice to her, unlike the girls in the brothel. They accepted her as a fellow dancer, not as a threat. Talia returned the smiles and meant it. It seemed everyone associated with Medda was overly nice and pleasant.

Medda was still in her costume when Talia entered the velvet-clad lobby. Medda was smiling and laughing with the Newsies and some of the other performers with Toby at her side. He had taken off his clown makeup; he was actually quite handsome.

Medda spotted Talia and reached out to her.

"How about a round of applause for my newest star, huh?" She said loudly, beaming.

The Newsies cheered and took turns pulling her by the arms to wrap her in a hug. Kid Blink even kissed her on the cheek, hugging her around the neck. Jack stood back, watching her. She smiled at him and looked away, ignoring the warm feeling in her cheeks. It was from the _dancing_, not Jack.

Medda and Toby led the Newsies and performers to an Irish pub three blocks away. When the door opened, Irish music welcomed them, the drums pounding along with Talia's heartbeat. It smelled like warm tobacco and the room was lit with dim red lamps. There were dancers in the middle of the room, their feet light on the floor as their heels clicked, and the tables and chairs pushed against the walls. When Medda entered, many heads turned and smiled at her, waving as they continued to sweep across the floor. The barman and owners waved to Medda from behind the bar. Medda skipped across the floor and hugged the owner's wife, kissing her on the cheek. The owner's wife-Rebecca-smiled at Medda, laughing at what she was saying in her ear. Talia had never seen such red hair before.

Medda shouted to her friends over the music, "This is my troupe; put them on my tab!"

The pub owner and his wife nodded, beckoning the newsies and theater performers inside. They occupied the tables near the back and beer was passed around; Medda took full responsibility for the boys. They eagerly accepted the pints of beer.

"Try not ta fall on your arse if the bulls come in," said the owner's son, Teddy, his accent friendly and rich.

The boys laughed and Race shook his head, "Can't make any promises."

Race turned to Talia who was sitting next to Mush.

"A little drinking game, Talia?"

Talia eyed Racetrack carefully, "I don't think you want to play any such games with _me_."

Her accent didn't seem to fit the room. She glanced around nervously but everyone was smiling and laughing.

Race slid a pint to her and she grinned at him. They chugged their beer and the boys around them beat their hands on the table along with the music, cheering. Jack laughed as Talia began drinking faster than Race, the beer disappearing down her throat.

Talia was the first to set her pint upside down on the table and Race gasped, staring at her in disbelief. She leaned across to him, smiling coyly with narrowed eyes.

"Let me know when you want to go again," she purred.

The boys roared and Race sulked as they slapped him on the back out of sympathy.

She laughed until Medda came up to her; Talia didn't like the sly look in her friend's eyes. Medda held out her hands.

"Come dance with me," Medda said, her eyes sparkling.

Talia shook her head but Mush pushed her and Medda pulled her up from her chair, swinging her into the spinning circle.

The boys were pleasantly surprised at Medda's quick footwork: her and Talia flew across the floor, their feet barely touching the wood. Medda pulled the other girls from their seats and came back to the Newsies' table.

"My girls need partners, gentlemen," Medda said sneakily.

The boys shook their heads but she pulled them up and shoved them onto the floor. The girls grabbed their hands and pulled them into the frenzied round robin. Talia laughed as she grabbed David's hands.

Medda sat next to Jack who was laughing at David's face.

"She's quite the free spirit," she said, watching his eyes.

Jack stopped laughing and stared for a moment, watching Talia's hair fly about her face. She was smiling and laughing as everyone joined hands, moving faster around the middle of the floor. The owner and his wife were sitting on the bar next to the makeshift band, clapping their hands and shouting.

Talia was thrown into the middle of the circle and she pulled Mush with her. The crowd cheered as they jumped and kicked their feet, their rhythms matching perfectly. Mush had always been the best dancer among the newsboys. Talia and him laughed as they held hands, trying to outdo each other. He had never seen her smile like that or have that much fun.

She was actually enjoying herself.

"Yeah," Jack said with no particular inflection in his voice, his eyes following her.

The Newsies danced three more songs and then they sat down for another round of drinks. The band slowed into a favorite drinking song and some sang along, the Irish voices growing louder. Jack always liked the Irish; they really knew how to throw a party.

Someone said something to Jack but he didn't hear it. The boys glanced at each other and Race's eyebrows furrowed as he stared at his friend: "'ey, Jack. Earth ta Jack."

Race looked at the boys then they looked to Talia, her fierce eyes locked on Jack, too.

"Aaand they're off," Race said as he tipped back his pint.

Mush eyed Talia and Jack and then turned to Race.

"Wanna bet on it?" he asked, his eyes narrowed. "Our usual. Double or nothin'."

Race thought for a moment, weighing the situation.

"Name your terms," Race said as he sat down with Mush at the table, his eyes glinting.

...

She was across the room at another table, talking to her new theater friends, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath from the dance. She had unbuttoned the top three buttons and he saw the sheen of sweat on her collar bone. It must have been close to 1 a.m. The Newsies had finally mustered their courage to mingle with the theater dancers, smiling and playing around.

But Jack couldn't focus on his friends; he couldn't think of anything else as he watched her. He stood up from the table and moved to the beam next to the wall, leaning against it, the laughter and music joining into one sound, blocking out everything else. Energy was rushing through him and he couldn't sit still. He took another sip of beer.

Talia glanced to the Newsies' table through the dim lighting. When she didn't see Jack, she glanced around until she spotted him, leaning against a beam. His friends were laughing and Race said something to him but he didn't acknowledge Race; his focus was on her. And his eyes were hungry.

Chills went down her arms. And she _liked_ it.

Talia had been so accustomed to being numb to all feelings, all excitement. Men didn't excite her; they bored her. They all had the same lines, the same moves...stale. And sometimes limp...

This was new for her. It was something that made her breath catch, something that made her hungry but not for food... It was something that stayed in her head and wouldn't leave her alone no matter how many times she tried to push it-_him_-away. She used to have such control, such indifference for any man that approached her. But Jack...with Jack she couldn't ignore the look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, his presence. But she wasn't one to "chase" men. _They_ chased _her_. And one minute, she would think he was chasing her. And every time she found herself giving him too much attention, too much time, she'd stop dead in her tracks.

That's not me, she said to herself. I am the flame. Men hunger for _me_. But what happens when there are two flames, both burning with the desire to consume?

You get scorched.

She looked away quickly only to look back at him again.

Maybe a burn is just what she needed.

She knew he wasn't drunk: Jack Kelly was one for control and had to have it at all times, never wanting to lose himself to the giddy feeling of drunkenness. But she wondered if he was feeling _something _because Jack Kelly was never one to make a move in public. At least, that's what she thought.

He set his pint on the table and made his way around the tables nonchalantly, pushing his fingers through his hair the way he always did. His eyes stayed on her, burning into her. She watched him carefully with narrowed eyes; Jack was as unpredictable as a loaded pistol...

But when he approached her, he didn't stop at her side. He didn't say a word. Instead, he grabbed her arm, his fingers rough and warm on her skin, and pulled her away from the tables. He led her across the room to a hallway behind the bar were the bathrooms were. It was dark and hidden from sight. All the noises and music seemed to faded away as if they had stepped into another room.

As soon as they were in the shadows, he turned around and roughly planted his lips on hers, his ridged fingers on her back like claws. She was surprised but she kissed him back immediately. Her skin prickled with the anticipation she had been feeling all night. She wanted this. She wanted him.

His lips and hands were eager but he did not go too far; his hands gripped the back of her shirt, pulling her closer, and he pushed her gently to the wall, trapping her. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, feeling his hair between her fingers, and-as much as she hated to do so-she had to part from him every once in a while to breathe. Their breath was short and hot and it only made them crave more.

Jack placed his hands on the wall and he pressed his body to hers and she welcomed him.

He felt like he was losing his mind: he relished in the touch of her soft lips and even moaned a little, wanting her to the point of pain.

He also wondered if his talk had gotten through to her, if she finally trusted him. The fact that she was still here, _under_ him, was evidence enough.

Talia didn't know this Jack: he was gentle and yet so _beast_-like; a tall hard pillar that she couldn't push away even if she wanted to. He was animalistic and he had a strong craving for meat that he had been suppressing.

But he did not hurt her. Though she heard him emit a soft growl, his lips were still soft against hers, his tongue caressing hers. He was perfectly capable of throwing her around, to be rough with her, but she knew by the gentle sucking on her lower lip that the thought would never cross his mind.

And it was that thought that made her want him even more.

God, what was happening? She didn't know.

And she didn't care.

She opened her eyes and saw his staring back, dark. And very, very hungry.


	15. Chapter 15

"I swear ta God, Cowboy, if you come home tonight, I'll kill ya," Racetrack said darkly as the Newsies left the pub to head back to the lodging house. Half of them were drunk. The other half was between drunk and passed out. They were all laughing for reasons they did not understand. But Race was in his right mind, even under the influence: he wasn't going to lose, even if it meant giving Jack a nudge in the "right" direction.

Jack, the only sober one, shoved Race, glaring at the street. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Medda and Toby with Talia between them, strolling back to the theater.

"Man, leave him alone," Mush said, his eyes anxiously watching Jack's face. "Jack can do whatever he wants. An' besides he doesn't wanna look desperate... right, Jack?"

Jack ran a hand through his hair, his brows furrowed. His fingers were still tingling, his lips still warm...Her smell was in his nose. And he wanted to follow it like a thirsty bloodhound.

He glanced at Race and Mush, both watching him. He grimaced,

"'ey, ya bums wanna stop makin' bets on me before I soak you two?"

"Who, us?!" Race said. His voice pitched and squeaked and the others laughed at him as he played off Jack's accusation. "Jack, we would neva."

But Mush was sweating bullets.

"Man, I can't lose two bucks, Jack," Mush croaked, cracking under pressure. "I don' even _got_ two bucks, Jack!"

And Jack was going home with these bums? To hell with it.

Jack stopped in his tracks and his friends stopped too, looking at him.

"Jack," David said in a serious tone. "Forget about bets, forget about everything else. Do what you want to do. No one will hold it against you."

David was pretty sober...his cheeks were red but he wasn't slurring his words. Jack thought for a moment...

"But we won't let him live it down either," Specs said loudly, laughing with the others.

Jack scoffed at them, "You guys needs ta get a hobby."

He waited a moment, sensing everyone's eyes on him.

"Nah," he finally mumbled. "Someone's gotta make sure you dumbasses make it back to tha house in one piece."

"Aw, Jack!"

"C'mon, man!"

"'ey, can it!" Jack barked.

"'ight," Mush said with the widest grin Race had ever seen. "Pay up, sucker."

"I didn't say where I'd be _sleepin'_," Jack said in Mush's ear as he walked past.

The crowd of half drunk boys crooned at Jack and howled after him as they ran down the street into the night, their voices bouncing off the buildings before fading away into the city.

...

"Don't ever use that word with me," Talia snapped at Medda, her Russian voice cruel. "_Never_."

But Medda's smile remained; she may have upset her young friend but she knew what she had seen in the pub.

"Whatever you say, dear," she said sweetly.

They were in Talia's apartment, lounging on the chaise lounge and velvet couch. Well, Medda was lounging. Talia was pacing around the living room and kitchen, pinching her fingers.

The one time she really needed a drink...damn Medda's rules...

"He's not like that," Talia said quietly. "And _I'm_ not like that," she said with more force.

Frustrated, Talia slumped against the wall next to the fireplace, facing Medda who was smiling gently at her.

Talia stared at her hands resting on her knees, playing with her long fingers. "Even though he may feel something...he'll never say it. And I don't wish him to. He needs to keep it to himself."

"And what if he doesn't?" Medda mused.

Talia glared at her.

"Ah," Medda said. "You'll run away."

"No," Talia said but she knew it was a lie. Damn it, Medda.

"He _can't_," Talia said. Her voice was thick and sore from laughing in the pub, from kissing Jack...

"He doesn't know what I could do to him."

"But you do?"

Talia's icy blue eyes stared at Medda, "Yes, I do."

"And what's that, dear?"

"I'll make him mad, crazy. Because I can't give him what he wants. It's happened before...He-he won't stop _pushing-"_

"So give it to him," Medda said. "Because I think...what he wants, _you_ want."

Talia read her face; so many years and stories, so much wisdom and life...Medda had been in her shoes. She knew what Talia has been through. Why shouldn't Talia trust her?

Medda rose from the couch and knelt in front of Talia, placing her hands on Talia's knees. She leaned close to her and their eyes bore into each other.

"Don't be afraid," Medda whispered. "I know you are. But believe me when I say that the world becomes a better place when you stop turning away from it. Stop hating every good thing that comes down the road. Or else the good things will stop coming."

Talia breathed heavily for a moment, staring at her friend, her mentor. After a long pause, she nodded.

Medda kissed Talia on the forehead and rose to leave.

"Oh, and someone left these for you, dear."

Talia stood and went to the door, her brows knitted in wonder. Medda pointed to the chair in the corner. There were white roses, a dozen.

Talia's heart dropped to her stomach and she felt the floor disappear from under her feet but she remained standing. The back of her neck felt cold and her hands shook. She knew only one person that would leave those flowers for her.

And for once, she wish it had been Jack.

"Dear?" Medda asked urgently, seeing the color drain from Talia's face. She grabbed Talia's arms, "What's wrong?"

Talia met Medda's eyes, her expression suddenly fierce, "Do not tell Jack."

Medda stared at her face, taken aback by the tone of her friend's voice.

"_Promise_," Talia hissed.

Medda read Talia's face and reluctantly nodded. Talia went for the flowers as if she meant to kill them and stuffed them in a kitchen cabinet, slamming it shut.


	16. Chapter 16

Across the city, in a room of china, champagne glasses and clean linens, maids roamed about the Rockefeller mansion, cleaning and listening to the heated words coming from the other side of the study doors.

"It must _stop_, Garrison," Mrs. Rockefeller spat, rubbing her left temple. "Do you even understand what you are doing to this family? To _me_?"

Garrison lounged in the leather chair behind his father's desk, staring at the high vaulted ceiling.

"You are shaming us with these..._street_ _women_."

"Mother," Garrison said smoothly as he stood and moved to one of the towering windows to look down at the well-tailored gardens. "It's just a bit of sport. It's not even for me; my friends are much more insistent than I am. You know how young men are-"

"Oh, _stop_ _it_," Mrs. Rockefeller closed her eyes. She wished his father was hear. But, like always, he was off in some other city, leaving their wild willful son in her hands while he smoked expensive cigars with railroad and lumber tycoons. And each day her headaches grew incessantly more painful.

Garrison looked at his mother, her dark silk robe tied tightly around her, her short caramel curls framing her thin pale face.

He thought for a moment, thinking. Then his eyes glinting wickedly...

"Alright, mother," he said as he went to her side, gripping her gently by the arms. His depthless hazel eyes looked down at her, pitying her. "I'll agree to do what you've wanted me to do for the past five months."

She raised her thin eyebrows.

"I'll marry William Pulitzer's niece."

Mrs. Rockefeller smacked his hands away even though she was secretly pleased.

"I want you to stop being a _fool_, Garrison. You are going to _ruin_ this family. And that _girl_ you brought to your father's party last night. I thought the _Russian_ was bad enough-"

"_Alright_, mother," Garrison gritted. "I'll call on Katherine tomorrow. And after the wedding, the Rockefeller's will say what's news. Think about it: we'll rule the entire city _and_ what it thinks."

Mrs. Rockefeller regarded her son for a moment, touching his soft caramel hair. "You're ruthless, Garrison. Just like your father."

"Just the way you raised me, mother," Garrison smirked. "Goodnight, mother."

Garrison kissed his mother's pale cheek and strolled carelessly from the room. Mrs. Rockefeller breathed a sigh of relief. The Rockefellers and the Pulitzers...it was a good match. And it would make headlines.

She left the room, calling after the head maid to call the florist.

* * *

Short chapter! But much more to come; Garrison's not through causing trouble, yet!


	17. Chapter 17

For the first time, Racetrack lost a bet. He grimaced as he gave mush two dollars, sulking away as Mush and Kid Blink jumped up and down in absolute gaiety. The boys teased Race for days and he snapped at them like a wounded lion. As a result to his failure at his own game, he didn't make any more bets on Talia and Jack.

Because Jack didn't go to Talia's; he hadn't been to see her in two days.

For two days, he had sold his newspapers and disappeared up to the Lodging House roof when he was finished and stayed there until after the sun had set. He couldn't explain it; he just wanted to be alone. He was a loner, everyone knew that, even Talia, but it wasn't like him to _stay_ alone. The Newsies distracted him and eased his troubled thoughts. But lately, he didn't want to talk to anyone and didn't want to be around the endless mindless chatter. He just wanted some time to himself.

Jack Kelly was a good thinker though many wouldn't think it. He had many thoughts, about life, about the world, about Talia…

She was going to be so pissed at him, he just knew it.

But it was okay; he'd deal with it later. Because he needed time to think things over, to figure some things out…

He didn't speak to the Newsies much even though Kid and Much continually pushed his buttons with the same questions and cornered him in the bathroom...

"'ey, Jack, what's up, man?" Mush asked, leaning against Jack's sink.

It was Sunday morning and the Newsies usually went to the docks or to the park on Sundays. The bathroom was foggy with shower steam and the boys were hopping around, whipping each other with damp towels.

Jack closed his eyes, "Isn't it a bit early ta start tha interrogations, fellas?"

"So," Kid Blink said as he leaned on the other side of Jack, trapping him. "Haven't seen Talia in a while…"

Jack looked up. Instead of a mirror over the sinks, he could see to the other side where Newsies were brushing their teeth. Jack was shaving…the only one old enough to shave. But they were all staring at him. He was surrounded.

He ripped the towel from the sink, wiping his face as the steam rushed his nose, and looked at them incredulously.

"Would ya calm down? I'm going ta see her tonight."

"'ey, atta boy," Kid Blink said as he slapped Jack's bare back.

Jack shook his head as he playfully boxed with Kid Blink, "Ya guys _really_ need ta get a new hobby."

"Find us some girls and we'll leave ya alone," Mush laughed. Jack chased him around the bunk room, stretching a towel between his hands, ready to whip him and anyone who was close enough.

Once the boys were all dressed, they left the Lodging House in a big group and Jack parted from them after he exchanged handshakes and back pats with his closest guys. They ran down the street, whooping and hollering. Jack smiled after them before he turned to walk the other way.

Jack had originally planned to see Talia _last_ night. And originally the night before _that_. But with each night, even though his blood boiled with the taste of her lips from the night at the pub, her skin warm beneath his…he couldn't do it.

What would happen when he saw her? What would happen if he had gone to her place after they had left the pub?

It made Jack uncomfortable. He was getting too close…but he _wanted_ to be close, close to Talia.

But there was still a part of him that anticipated her screwing up again. He was waiting for her to slam the door in his face again.

But just thinking about her…

Damn it. Now he _really_ wanted to see her.

He wandered the streets of New York, watching the sky change from bright blue to hazy pink as the sun crawled in a lazy arch above him, settling in the west behind the old brown buildings. He passed families enjoying their Sunday afternoon in the square, buying candies in the shops and new dresses for school. Boys and girls holding hands…they made it look so _easy_.

He thought about the way he and Talia were together and he realized the guys were right: they were like two loaded guns, pointing at each other but never intending to pull the trigger. They were a lot alike, more than he cared to admit. She was strong on the outside but screaming at the top of her lungs on the inside, just wanting to break out and fly away. He could understand that.

She was much like a wounded animal that would turn on you the moment you did something she wasn't expecting. She had always been good at reading people. But not Jack.

He took a deep breath, his chest expanding as he strolled through the market. Everywhere he looked: the sky, the tall buildings lining the streets, the people passing by…he wanted her walking beside him, smiling and laughing her husky laugh, her voice in his ear.

He—

He almost admitted it, almost said it. But to admit that he missed her would be admitting—

But that wasn't them: it may have been there—the feelings they had for each other—but it wasn't like them to say it. They didn't need to say it.

So he wandered all the way to the theater. He meandered to the back and looked up, seeing the fire escape at her window.

"No turning back no, Kelly," he said to himself before climbing the old rusted ladder.

….

Talia waved goodbye to the dancers as she crossed the stage, slippers in hand. She removed the pin from her hair and let it fall as she climbed the stairs to the apartments, each step creaking under her bare feet. She went into her room and instinctively glanced at the chair in the corner. No flowers. She hadn't even opened the kitchen cabinet from the other night. She didn't want to think about it.

But when she glance up to the living room windows, she froze.

He looked up at her, seeing her through the glass, the setting sun bathing his face in a rosy glow.

She stared at him for a minute. She wanted to be angry, to yell at him, to make him go away.

But she was…_glad_ to see him. Relieved, even.

She dropped her slippers at the door and slowly made her way around the couches to the window, her eyes on his face. She unhitched the window and pushed it up, letting the sounds and smells of the street fill the living room. She could hear children laughing as they played in the street.

He was sitting on the fire escape—typical—and he was leaning on his knees, looking up at her. He wasn't expecting anything, just sitting there with a relaxed expression.

"How long have you been here?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Dunno. Few hours."

She read his face. Why would he be sitting out _here_? Well, she knew the answer but she didn't want to think about it. Without another word, she left the window and went to her bedroom to the wash basin in her bathroom.

Jack climbed in and looked around the room, seeing the corner where he had kissed here before…

He rubbed the back of his head. He'd kissed her everywhere it seemed.

She dried off her face and looked in the mirror, seeing him standing in the doorway of her bedroom. She turned and looked at him for a moment, studying his tall figure. For once, she didn't want to yell at him or begin an argument with the intent of making him leave. She wanted him to stay.

Maybe Medda was right; maybe it was time to stop chasing the good things away….

"Do you," she began slowly, thinking as she searched his face. He only stared back at her.

"Do you want to come with me?...To the roof?"

His eyebrows furrowed and without waiting for his answer, she walked across the floor and slipped past him. He turned and saw her climbing out the window, her skirt disappearing as she climbed the fire escape.

He followed her and felt the wind on his face once he reached the top of the building. The view stunned him; it was better than the view from the Lodging House.

The sun cast a rosy glow over everything; the roofs, the smoke rising from chimney shafts, the bay and the docks. From here, they really could see everything. The roof was somewhat cleaner than the Lodging house too: it was flat with a tall ledge and some of the old theater signs were propped up against it on the other side.

Talia looked out to the sunset for a while. The sunlight highlighted her silhouette like a fire and the breeze played with her long hair. She was dressed in her dance clothes, a lacy chemise and a long cotton skirt that showed her ankles. She was still barefoot.

She turned to Jack and he was more stunned by the smile on her lips than the view.

Her eyes sparkled at him—literally sparkled.

"Isn't it wonderful?" She asked. She turned back to the sun. "Now I understand why Mr. Kloppman comes up here. It's so peaceful…I almost forget where I am."

He walked forward until he was standing next to her, staring at the incredible view.

"Yeah," he agreed huskily.

Without hesitation she took his arm and led him forward, "Come sit with me."

They sat on the ledge, their feet dangling over the street far below. The building must have been four or five stories high…Jack rested his elbows on his thighs and his eyes drank in the colors of the sun on the buildings, reflecting off the bay far off.

And he realized…for the past few days, all he had wanted was to clear his head, to forget everything for a while. Sitting next to Talia…

He looked at her. Her eyes were closed, feeling the sun on her face as if it was the most precious thing to her.

He had never felt so peaceful before.

"Volkov," Talia said softly, her eyes still closed.

His eyebrows furrowed again. "What?"

"My name; you told me you didn't know my last name." She opened her eyes and turned her face to him, her chin touching her shoulder, her eyes glinting as if the sun had brightened them. "It's Volkov."

He couldn't help but think how her voice sounded when she said the Russian name, her accent welcoming it like an old friend.

She smiled and bit her lower lip and after a moment she said: "My name isn't even _Natalia_."

Jack started, "_What_? Ya lied ta us? What—Then what is it?"

"It's my…what you call a 'middle name'. My real name is Ira. Ira Natalia Volkov, daughter of Konstantin and Dimitra Volkov. Born December 12, 1881."

Jack stared at her for a moment. "Ira?"

She shook her head, "_Ira_. Ee-rah."

He read her eyes and spoke the name again, "Ira."

She regarded him carefully. She liked hearing him say it.

"I didn't lie. Natalia is still my name. I changed it when my parents went back to Russia when I was fourteen. And then Rufus found me…and I told him my name was Natalia."

She looked out to the sunset, lost in her memories.

"There's still many things you don't know about me, Cowboy," she said sadly. "But I wanted you to know my real name."

"So," he said, leaning on his hands, looking at her. "Tell me what I don't know."

She turned and read his dark eyes and smiled, "What if you don't like what I tell you?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "'s your story, not mine."

She looked out to the skyline again, seeing the sun inch closer to the buildings. She opened her memory, allowing images and faces to come back to her. Even after years of trying to forget them, they were still there, waiting for her.

"I had a little brother," she said softly. "His name was Nikolai. We called him Niki. He died when he was three. He called me 'Lulu'."

Jack's eyes darkened as he listened to her stories of her family, of Russia. Her life in New York, though it was not pretty, was still better than the one she had had. Her voice weaved in and out, painting a picture of her home and town. He tried to picture it in his head, trying to picture little Talia.

"There were many friends," she said, smiling to herself. "My best friends were the ones I made in dance class. They made me laugh. Not everyone in my life was bad…just those who used me. There are good people there, in Russia. And it was beautiful in winter…the snow covered _everything_.

"My mother sold her hair to make more money for our dream to go to America. She didn't know that father was making money through me, through the men he sold me to. We were not rich but we were not poor. I had my own room. Father worked at the bank. Many men he worked with were miserable with their wives. I had many dresses.

"We came here when I was eleven. We came with other Jewish families. Mother and father hated it here. They never told me why. They left me here and Rufus took their place, teaching me how to become the best whore in his house. The other girls were sick, half of them were dying."

She looked at Jack, meeting his eyes, "Kid Blink asked me if I had syphilis. The truth is I don't know. But I think I would be dead by now if I had it…" She looked away.

"I became pregnant with my first child when I was fourteen…I didn't know it until my stomach began to grow. It became really big…Rufus was furious, said it was 'sloppy work'.The first was the most painful...

She took a deep breath, not wanting to think about it. She trailed off and it seemed like she had to fight her way back to the roof, sitting next to Jack, watching the sunset.

"The others were much easier to…take care of."

She looked back to him and smiled though it did not touch her eyes.

"And then I met the Newsies."

Jack didn't smile back. He could only watch her. So many memories…too many to forget. She was a different person in his eyes now. But he didn't _think_ differently of her.

"That's my story," she said as she watched the sun which had almost completely set, its glow changing from rosy to red.

"And what of you, Cowboy?" She asked as she leaned back on her hands, her face level with his. "What of Jack Kelly, the 'greatest Newsie in New York'?"

He huffed and rolled his eyes, "Nah. I'm not anything what the guys say I am. I'm only tha leader 'cause I'm the only one who doesn't show my fear on my face."

She questioned him with her eyes. He ran his hand through his hair, thinking of the right words so that she'd understand.

"We was in the orphanage together, Kid Blink an' me. His mother died when he was five 'cause she was sick an' he neva met his fatha. My fatha left me at the orphanage around tha same time 'cause he was tryin' ta leave tha city. The bulls were afta him and he said it was too dangerous ta take me with him. They caught him soon afta he left me.

"Kid's like my brotha," Jack said with a sigh. "He can be a stupid brotha but I'd do anythin' for 'im. He's saved my ass more times than anybody. Nobody has eva been there more than 'im.

"We was nine when we met Mush. He told us that we could make money sellin' papes an' that we wouldn't hafta go ta school. We ran away from tha orphanage an' joined tha Newsies. I watched tha older boys an' learned from them. When I was fifteen, boys started watchin' _me_. I didn't even hafta try. I was just good at it.

"I went ta tha Refuge for stealin' food a couple a times. 's a jail for kids," he clarified as he read the confusion in her eyes. "Then last summer we went on strike against The World papes with Newsies from all ova tha city. Tha's when we got David. He helped us…I almost left for Santa Fe when it was all ova but decided ta stay. I couldn't leave tha only family I've eva known.

"But I still wanna go, someday," he mused. "Ta see wide spaces, do whatever I wanna do. Can't be free in a city like this. 's even harder ta make good money."

"Unless you are a whore," Talia interjected.

Jack smirked without even thinking about it and Talia laughed.

"Yeah, I guess tha's one way ta do it," he said, staring at the people down on the street, passing the theater. His brow furrowed, "But I'm glad ya not like that anymore."

She looked at his face and he met her eyes.

"I mean, I'm glad ya got out, got with Medda."

She smiled to herself, "Me too. She's been wonderful to me. And…"

She struggled for a moment and then looked him in the eyes, "You-you've been wonderful... to me."

He read her face, seeing the pain in her eyes.

She shook her head, "Not many would be so kind to me."

Jack shifted, a little uncomfortable. But he wanted to say something to her, something important that she needed to hear.

"Ya know I'd neva let anythin' happen to ya," he said softly, his dark brown eyes serious.

Even though she probably didn't want him to say that, he still wanted her to hear it.

She smiled at him.

They watched the sunset below the buildings until they couldn't see it anymore. But the sun's rays stretched across the sky, the colors even more beautiful than before. They listened to distant voices drifting up from the streets and the horses' hoofs clipping and echoing off the stone.

It was quiet between them and neither one felt uncomfortable or strange. It was the most peaceful time they had ever spent together. It was different.

Talia watched the different colors above her, different shades of pink, purple and red. She had seen many sunsets, both here and in Russia. They had all been the same, except for this one. She didn't have to pretend to be anything; she was herself. She didn't have to hide the true feelings she knew were growing inside her. She didn't have to fear leaving this spot, to return to her room. She felt safe.

"Jack," she said softly, her voice thick.

He looked at her face, "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He saw a tear roll down her cheek.

* * *

Now, I have never been to Russia (But I would very much like to) and I only know what I have read/watched about their culture. I am not trying to offend ANYONE. But if there are any negative thoughts/feelings about the way I am portraying it, I deeply apologize! I am only telling Talia's story. Thank you for reading! More to come!


	18. Chapter 18

Now, not to give anything away...but this chapter is rated M...it's not too graphic (it's what I hope to be tasteful) but nonetheless, you have been warned.

* * *

They climbed down from the roof near ten o'clock. They had talked- just talked- for hours, much after the sun had completely set and night took its place. Jack had never talked to anyone for more than three-or even two- hours before, let alone a female. She was captivating, her life and her stories. He just listened. And when he looked up, the sky was dark and the sunlight had vanished. He felt like he was in a different place, somewhere new. He was somewhere far away with Talia.

She was smiling more than she ever had before, her eyes lighting up as she laughed at his dry humor, and he noticed his body language changed as he sat on the roof with her, leaning towards her, turning to face her. He was drawn to her; she was no longer cold and distant. She was close to him and he wanted to be even closer. He was drawn to her, like the sun.

"No, I wasn't making fun of your accent again," she laughed as her bare feet landed on the rug in her living room.

"I think ya were," he said as he climbed in behind her.

"No, I-"

But he didn't let her say another word. He had stepped forward, closing the tiny gap that had been between them all night. He pressed his lips to hers, stifling his hunger only to create a new one. He craved to taste her and smell her, to feel her against him. He opened his eyes and saw her looking back at him. Her eyes were soft but piercing and they sent chills up his arms. He kissed her again, his instincts taking over, and didn't stop.

They found themselves against the wall, Jack's hands ridged against the wallpaper, and she was removing his coat. Afraid she would stop, he didn't part from her lips. He weaved his fingers into her hair long hair, gripping it. He couldn't get close enough.

After fighting with his shirt, Talia's fingers found refuge on his chest, trailing over his skin. His shirt and coat lay on the floor at his feet. He looked at her and she looked back, wondering if this would be too much for him; she didn't want to take him down a road only to leave him there, stranded.

But he kissed her again before she could say anything, this time more fiercely, and she breathed him in, filling her lungs. He knew when to shut her up…

He suddenly gripped her waist and lifted her, holding her up as he kissed her. She wrapped her legs around him and gasped as his mouth trailed down her neck, his tongue tasting her skin. She gripped his shoulders and squeezed her thighs around him.

They never made it to the bed. They stayed there, against the wall, and slid down slowly to the floor, their hands ripping away their clothes as if they were burning them, their bare skin alive and sensitive to every touch. The anger, the passion, the pain; every emotion they had ever had towards one another was between them, gleaming in their eyes as they looked at each other. Both bare, both exposed.

Talia was terrified to take him further but she couldn't slow her motions. She couldn't stop even if she had wanted to. She wanted it to last forever, to not wake up. Such tenderness and intensity; it was nothing she had ever experienced before. Her nails dug into his back and he growled in her ear as he rolled on top of her, arching his back. His hands were in tight fists on the rug, his forearms and shoulders taught. He was aggressive and yet he praised her body; his lips caressed her until she cried out, aching for him.

And then, he finally took her.

He felt _wonderful_.

Her eyes shot open and she couldn't see anything; she was blind. She could only feel him. There was nothing except for him.

Never had they imagined being like this together, their skin slicked with sweat, their hair matted to their foreheads, their breathing ragged in their ears. Talia didn't know why this was so new…every movement, every wave of pleasure was foreign to her body. She thought she was dying only to be brought back again within the same second.

And he wasn't using her. He wanted this just as much as she did, if not more.

She arched her back, crying out, and she held on to him, not wanting him to stop. She screamed, feeling the sweetest release, and he yelled as he placed his hands on the wall over her head, pulling away from her, their bodies no longer tied to each other.

Time stopped and all they could hear was their breathing, raw and ragged.

She lay under him, staring up at his face. She breathed slowly, the air stinging her lungs, and she searched his face, wondering if he had felt what she had just felt.

Such _freedom_.

He lowered himself onto her, pressing his chest to hers as he panted, and he rested against her. He rested his forehead on hers and his muscles shook slightly. He was shivering.

She fought to speak, "Why did you stop?"

He could barely catch his breath, "What?" He read her eyes for a moment before understanding. "I… I didn't want ya ta get…ya know, pregnant."

She was quiet and then she nodded slowly, not knowing what to say.

It was the first time a man had put her first.

He exhaled and dropped his head to the crook in her neck, his body relaxing. Talia rested her neck, letting her head fall to the side.

"Did I hurt ya?" he asked huskily.

She closed her eyes, smiling, "No, Jack Kelly. You did everything else _but_ that."

He smirked and rose up on his hands to look at her. She met his eyes and he stared at her for a minute.

"Sullivan," he said.

"What?" she asked softly.

He licked his lips, "My name. It's not Jack Kelly. It's Sullivan, Francis Sullivan."

A smile crept across her lips, her eyes glinting wickedly, "You _lied_ to me."

He laughed once, "Well, ya weren't the first."

She laughed, "You _lied_ to me, cowboy."

"I wanted ya ta know," he said seriously, his eyes gentle.

She read his dark eyes and then turned her face to kiss his forearm, her plump swollen lips making him shiver.

He watched her for a moment, seeing a new side to her. He doubted that she had showed this side to any of the men she had been with, this softness. He was finally behind her wall.

He lowered himself and kissed her mouth. She tasted better than any beer, any candy, better than anything he had ever tasted.

Soon he fell to his side next to her and they lay together, sometimes smiling and laughing at nothing. And sometimes they just stared at each other, wondering how they had come to this point and why they hadn't gotten here sooner.

Then she rose and went to the door of her bedroom, half hiding behind the doorframe as she looked back down at him, beckoning him.

From the floor, his eyes drank in her body, the perfect curves of her hips, legs, breasts.

She smiled at him and he rose too and strolled to her side, leaning over her at the doorframe, his hands crawling up her back. She was so _soft_.

She left him and went to the bed, resting on her back. She didn't ask him to stay or go; he had a choice. But he followed her and crawled onto the bed, resting against the pillows, watching her.

This was the part that was _really_ foreign to her: what happens after? Men threw their money at her and left.

She moved slowly, hesitantly, as she turned on her side, facing him, watching his eyes look at her.

And he was thinking the same thing, how men left her so quickly, not realizing they had just had the most beautiful woman in New York…in anywhere.

And he wasn't going _anywhere_.

"C'mere," he said roughly.

He reached for her and pulled her towards him, on top of him. After a moment, she relaxed and rested her chin on his chest. And they stayed that way for what felt like hours. They didn't say anything else. She only traced her fingers over his chest and he watched her until his eyes began to droop. She stared at him as he fell asleep and soon she felt his chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm.

There was pain in her eyes as she watched him, knowing the night was ending and that soon it would be a new day. What would happen then?

"You scare me, cowboy," she whispered, knowing he couldn't hear her. She reached for his face, to brush aside his light brown hair, but she stopped and pulled her fingers away.

But soon she fell asleep too and her breathing matched his.


End file.
